25 February 2008

Secret Shames of Single Women

By: Jessica B.

I find no shame in being single so please don’t be misled by tonight’s post. What I mean by “secret shame” is, activities or quirks that women have and do in private, that is often only socially acceptable if you are single and live on your own. Get your head out of the gutter too! It can be as small as eating cereal for dinner – on a nightly basis – or enjoying a bit of “naked” time while reading.

These items are not things to be embarrassed by. They are the signs of a bring a liberated, single, city woman who is comfortable in her own skin and with who she is. These “shames” only help you to be a stronger woman, person and friend. Embrace your “shames” as I do!

So what are some of my secret shames as a single city woman?

Shoe fashion shows. Sometimes I love to try on my high heels and just prance around my apartment in pajamas, enjoying the shoes in a multitude of lights and mirror angles. You feel like you’re going out to a party or club in these attractive, yet painful contraptions, but you’re not, you’re in the comfort of your own home!

Eating food directly from the container. It really tastes better this way – and it’s good for the environment as I have fewer dishes to wash. High recommendations go to sorbet and hummus out of the container.

Wearing nice jewelry while doing mundane tasks, such as dishes or vacuuming. Just because I don’t have anywhere to wear them out to, why should my graduation gift- diamond earrings sit in the box all the time?

Watching “manly” shows for no apparently attractive reason. I watch American Chopper on TLC. I don’t know why I do or why I like it so much, but my outward excuse is that it’s art, but in the form of a chopper. Yes I’ve never been on a motorcycle too but that is besides the point.

New Friday-night rituals. Mine involve the latest People magazine Puzzler and a Pepsi. After a long week at work, I frequently forgo the Friday night party, opting to treat for dinner and some quiet. I always rush home and open my apartment mailbox, looking for my new People issue, which has an unsolved Puzzler for me to work on. Trust me, it’s not the New York Times crossword puzzle but it makes me feel smart, and keep the brain sharp. And because I love non-diet soda, I limit myself to only having one on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It’s cheesy I know, but it keeps the sugar content in line.

So do you all have any secret shames? Feel free to post them and use a fake name if necessary. Even if you’re married, feel free to put them out there. Hey, your husband isn’t around all the time ;)

Oscars appendix:
So I re-watched portions of the Oscars from last night and I have two more “favorite moments” to add:

– Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill fight over who is more like Halle Berry, especially Jonah’s comments about his “Halle Berry hands.” Hil-ar-ious. Bring them on more!

– Diablo Cody’s acceptance speech. While I was not a fan of her massive tattoo or the leopard dress, watching her emotion on stage, especially thanking her family for loving her just as she is, that was really nice to watch. Good for her and her tattoo :)

Oscar letdown? That would have to be two of the three Best Songs from Enchanted. Kristin Chenoworth sang “That’s How You Know” horribly and buzzkilled that entire song. I like that song and would have preferred if Amy Adams would have done it instead. Also, the song “So Close” tried to have a McDreamy look-alike to dance with the Adam look-alike, but his face was so long that I thought Jay Leno was actually on stage, and 30 years younger too. Disappointing!

4 Comments

  1. Bayjb says:

    Ah good music to listen to while cleaning. When I had neighbor trouble in a past apartment, I would play rap music insanely loud while cleaning. Sometimes it’s fun to sing about bitches and ‘hoes. And yes I am a woman and a liberal but it’s good clean fun, no pun intended.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Whenever I clean the house — and by this I mean put-on-an-old t-shirt-and-scrub-bathroom-floor cleaning — I love to listen to alt/hard rock and “metal” bands(like Chevelle and Tool). I’m not your typical “rocker” girl so most people find this particular playlist on my ipod really disturbing, but I just can’t help myself. Still not sure how I’m going to explain this to my fiance once we’re living together.
    Btw, loved your “naked reading” image.

  3. R says:

    Oh, secret shame. I pretend I’m a professional MMA fighter and practice my moves on the most vicious made-up opponents.

  4. R says:

    You’re an entertaining blogger. Are you for hire?

 

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