Archive for May 2008

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15 May 2008

Cable bill-hating

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Chicago, television
I love television. No, really love it. DVR has changed my life (and increased the amount of TV I watch) but because I love television so much, it’s always the one thing I splurge the most on and pay the most for (minus my purse addiction). Some people love cooking or sports, I love television and anything television-related. I dream about installing a surround-sound system. That I will outsource for sure.

But it’s because of my love of television that my monthly cable bill and the overall cost for cable services really gets a bee in my bonnet. Personally, I think it’s highway robbery and the real “fleecing” of America. I live in Chicago, we have winter, I can’t go out in -20 degree weather, television is my only salvation!

I bring this up because today I called RCN (local Chicago cable supplier) about trying to rebundle my services to lower my bill. I like my service (overall), but I can’t handle paying $110+ a month for cable and Internet. Mentally, it’s the number sticker-shock that kills me. So I was hoping RCN would see what a great customer I am and help me out here to lower my bill by $20-30.

Nope. After 20 minutes on the phone (multi-tasking and editing some work documents), the best Bucko (who I will refer to my customer service rep as) says is, “sorry, we can’t do anything for you.” As an customer-service-savvy person, I refuse to accept that. So I ask Bucko what deals they do have going right now to see if I can take advantage of something at least to ease the pain on my wallet.

Here is a snippet of our conversation:

Bucko: “Well I could give you a month of free HBO”

Me: “That’s great, but I’m really interested in deals that will reduce my bill, I really have enough television to watch already”

Bucko: “Oh well, I could give you HBO so that you feel better about your bill.”

Trust me Bucko, if only that would actually help.

In the end, my bill went down by $15 for six months. I guess it could be worse, but come June 15, I’m calling again about cable deals. I refuse to back down!
Now it’s time to geek out and watch the Office finale in HD. HD is another great thing about television I can’t get enough of.
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13 May 2008

I am a tech-savvy goddess

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: family, Random, shopping
Not really, but I sure like that title.

Many of you might not find this particularly interesting, but I am giving myself a massive pat-on-the-back. In last night’s post, I mentioned I was trying to figure out my Apple Airport Express wireless device and at 8:30 p.m. last night…I did!!

And I figured it out all by myself…and some help from the Apple Support page, but I did not run to my dad or stepbrother asking them to do it for me nor did I get so frustrated that I nearly heaved the device against the wall.

I am a single, self-sufficient woman, but sometimes I still run to dad at time to make things “go away.” But this, this I did all on my own! It’s a nice little feeling that I can handle just about anything you throw at me. So tonight, I’m blogging this post wirelessly in my apartment and it’s beyond exciting. Maybe I’ll blog from bed tomorrow…because I can!

Now Danielle tells me I need to get Apple TV. Let’s take this one step at a time.
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12 May 2008

Tidbit Monday: A Potpourri post – make up, more stripping and rock bands

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: beauty, shopping, Things I recommend
My mind is kind of scattered today as I continue working to establish a wireless network with my Apple Airport Express at home. It’s supposed to be easy to connect, but it’s apparently not easy enough for me because I can’t get it to work. Grr!

Anyhow, enjoy today’s random sampling.

Make-up Brushes – Help!
Apparently my eyebrows are like a rain forest, as I have managed to break my fourth Sephora make-up brush since December. How? I have no idea. For $5, I wasn’t expecting greatness, but somehow breaking four in less than six months seems a little crazy. No, I’m not brushing my eyebrows aggressively, but for some reason the top of the brush keeps snapping off like a twig. And those little bristles scatter like leaves, making them horrible to find and pick up.

I cannot bring myself to go back to Sephora and buy another one (mostly because I know it won’t last) so if you all have recommendations of good, affordable eyebrow brushes and shapers, I would appreciate it. My eyebrows would too.

Meet my rock band
Because of my awful, tone-deaf voice, I will not be joining a band in the foreseeable future. But I was playing around online the other day and found a fun Web site that will let me generate my own band name based on my real name.

The Grammy for Best New Artist is definitely not in my future, but in my head, I can play Guitar Hero and Rock Band now with a purpose. So I proudly introduce to you all my band…..

Your Band Name is:
The Plastic Housewives

I think that’s pretty appropriate. Let’s rock!

Strip club follow-up
Sadly no pictures are available just yet, but Meg did ask for the story behind the “I don’t want to burn you” comment so I have provided it below.

At the strip club (which gave us a front-row seat near a pole- score!), one of the other bachelorettes there was insanely drunk and smoking like a chimney. When “Hot Joe” (the best stripper) came over to her to make some money, he proceeded to straddle her and pull her on top of him.

Because of her level of intoxication, the cigarette went with the woman onto the stripper and she screamed out “I don’t want to burn you” (with the cigarette) while he removed $1 bills from her cleavage and bra strap.

That was nice of her to try and save the stripper from a cigarette burn on his perfectly-toned pectoral. But I doubt that would have been the first time something like that happened.
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11 May 2008

My first trip to the local strip club

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: family, Wisconsin

You heard me, Saturday night I lost my strip club virginity. I was back in Wisconsin for a bachelorette party and we visited the Airport Lounge’s male revue – rockin’ the airport from 9:30 p.m. to midnight every Saturday.

Unfortunately, because of my cringe-inducing Thursday-night events, I was not drinking (but did have two sips of a shot before my stomach started kicking me around again) so I have a very clear memory of the night’s events. And at the end of the night, my friends KMo and Sarah were also right, I had to wash every single article of clothing immediately.  My hair still smells like strip club too.
We were treated to four dancers at the strip club, Giovanni, Hot Joe, some unnamed guy in a peach G-string and Andy-something (I wasn’t listening to closely apparently to his name) and the dancers definitely got better as the night went on. The bachelorette party I was with voted “Hot Joe” as the best of the bunch and of course, with half of the group intoxicated and with pocket-fuls of $1 bills, there were many random, yet humorous quotes that came from the night. The other four bachelorette parties that were in the crowd helped contribute to this list too.
I’ve listed a few below for you all to enjoy. I’ll let you imagine the context for each:
  • “Oh my”
  • “I don’t want to burn you”
  • “That’s not sanitary”
  • “Bring out the bucket”
  • “OMG there’s a tassel”
  • “He’s limber”
In addition to taking pictures and stuffing $1 bills down the bride’s shirt for the strippers to remove, someone managed to stuff a $1 bill in my shirt, which I could not remove before the stripper in the peach G-string and pierced nipples, came over and helped me donate a few more dollars to his “bucket” for the night. Yes, he was sweaty and sadly it was only mildly hot.
I can’t really describe some of the images I saw last night, some made me definitely blush and say, “whoa look at that.” I might have looked like a first-timer, but I could still holler, clap and wave bills like the rest of the ladies. At the end of the night, some ladies, who were definitely overserved, got up and started swinging on the poles themselves while the guys worked the crowd. I won’t lie, I was very tempted to go up and do a swing-around myself, but after watching one girl lick part of the pole, I decided not to. Next time.
I don’t know if I’ll be attending the Airport Lounge again but I’m glad I can cross “go to a strip club” off my “to do” list. There is a rumor that someone took a picture of me donating to my stripper’s “bucket” but I’ll have to confirm before deciding if it should be posted.
Also, I’m fitted for my bridesmaid dress and I won’t lie, I have never felt that thin in a dress or that kind of princess-y pretty in a while.
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09 May 2008

Karma punched me in the face – multiple times

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Chicago, Random, shopping

So as some of you know, last night my parents came in to town for an overnight and the three of us, plus my friends Anne and Liz, were going to my favorite bi-annual shopping event. The Nordstrom’s Customer Appreciation Night. I had been looking forward to this for weeks and even selected a “special,” super-cute outfit for the event. I had my gift cards, my list of what I wanted to buy, and I was ready for fun, toasting the evening with the girls and a glass of wine.

And then things started to go downhill from there. What started with “hey we’re getting kind of tipsy and munching on some great food,” turned into me getting punched in the face by karma and suddenly becoming sloppy drunk and apparently with food poisoning. The latter I didn’t figure out until later on, like this morning when I was praying I would just die. Actually I’m still feeling like that, and with a car trip today back to Wisconsin, let’s just say there was a lot of mental hoping that it would be over with soon.

I don’t remember buying my new Yurman or Juicy velour dress. Yes I know everyone has the that dress but I’m behind on those things, plus I kept hoping to get it on sale and missing it altogether. I even missed our post shopping ritual, dinner at Joe’s. I don’t think you want to know why. My friend had to call my dad and say that I had “food poisoning,” which he didn’t believe, and that they had to put me in a cab stat.
Plus, because I fell asleep with my eye make up on (but contacts out!) I woke up this morning with a horribly bloodshot left eye that was watering like a fountain. That has fortunately cleared up but it was not enjoyable at all. No contacts for me this weekend.
So now that you’re groaning and/or laughing at my bad choices, what have I learned from this? Well I will not be drinking in excess anytime too soon and I’m not in college anymore so “double fisting” Pinot Grigio isn’t hot in your late-20s.
This might be gross, but I’m wondering, do I count the calories you consumed but then “saw again” later?
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