- “By continuing to provide for their twentysomething kids, parents hinder their children’s ability to be financially responsible. If you don’t learn to budget early on, what will inspire you to do so when your finances become your own prerogative?”
- “…it is possible to live in any city regardless of your age or income, it just takes budgeting and prioritizing.”
The article focuses primarily on men/women whose parents go above and beyond paying for things, such as half of their kids New York rent, all of their utilities or let their kids charge on the parents credit cards so they don’t go into debt. I agree with her that this is excessive, much like the behavior from parents on shows like My Super Sweet 16, where the parents feed their kids materialism but then chide them for being materialistic. But I don’t think you’re less of an adult because your parents do help you on occasion with things like a cell phone bill or unexpected medical/dental expenses.
I live in Chicago, where I pay my own rent, utilities, food and shopping bills, even if I get a bit excessive in shopping one month. I don’t run to my parents to “make it go away,” but I have gone to them for help when I needed to put down a security deposit on an apartment or when I needed to have a root canal and crown done and my out-of-pocket costs were due right away. They were happy to help and put me on a “payment plan” to refund their money at no interest. I think it’s okay to use the “Bank of M-O-M and D-A-D” for certain items as long as the parents have set up the guidelines with the kids of when they will be repaid.
Her second point about being able to live in any city regardless of age or income I don’t 100 percent agree with. She comments about the “life” and “diversity” of a large city like New York, yet she feels you can survive and thrive in this environment by forking over 80 percent of your salary to rent and not being reliant on your parents. If you’re putting out that kind of money for rent, I’m not sure what else you sacrifice to stay afloat in the city, eating or transportation? My guess, eating.
When I moved to Chicago as an intern, I made around $9/hour, which barely helped me afford a small studio apartment, transportation around the city and food. I lived on noodles and casseroles for six months until I found full-time employment and during that time I didn’t do really any fun stuff around the city because I couldn’t afford it and I wouldn’t take money from my parents. I’m not saying my parents should have paid my rent, etc. but I don’t see the harm in taking $20 from them here or there if it lets me go have fun and build a social network in my city.
That doesn’t make me less of an independent adult to ask for help and it doesn’t make my parents “enablers” by giving me money at times or offering to take me to Banana Republic to buy some new shirts for my job.
The author also comments, “Financial independence means social freedom and absolute control over my own life. Yet among my peers, I seem to be the only one who feels this way.”
No honey you’re not, so please don’t group all of us twenty somethings in there with you. Maybe you just have catty, spoiled friends whose parents are inattentive and show their love only by giving them money.
Am I totally missing the mark on this? The article gave me quite a “bee in my bonnet.”