28 August 2008

I love girl talk…drinks optional!

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Friends
I love girl talk. I love getting together with my girlfriends and just talking about anything big or small. We can solve world problems, one at a time, within a few hours.
Troubled economy? Get a room of women together (with drinks) and it will be balanced within a day. Drinks are also a great icebreaker for girl talk (especially in unknown company) and make sharing stories and questions a lot easier. I like to think I’m pretty easy to talk to, so drinks just help me be more talkative and a lot louder when the conversation gets heated. Once I’ve had a glass of wine, I can guarantee that finger-waggin’ and “oh no you didn’t” are inevitable.
My favorite part about girl talk is how supportive it is. Don’t know what to do with your hair? The girls will give you some gentle and well-intentioned tips. Man trouble? Girlfriend I am here with you to the end on that. He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. Family problems? Honey, I’m here to listen, tell me what’s wrong. During a particularly bad time last year, one friend sat on the phone with me for 2 hours while I cried and just rambled about nothing. She could have only been half-listening or watching television in the background, but she was there, and she knew that was what I needed.
With support like that, I feel like I can kick some a** and go out and say “lookout Chicago, here I come!”
Then there’s the flip side to girl talk: the catty side. Trust me, girls can be M-E-A-N, but honestly, this is my favorite part. I’ve been called judgemental many times and it’s partially true, but sometimes it’s nice to be around friends and women who think the same things you do and you feel safe in verbalizing them. Sadly, women can be the meanest and hit the lowest on one common thing: other women’s fashion choices. Below is an example of this.
**Woman wearing an inappropriate outfit walks by**

“Did you see that?” 
“Hells yes, what was she thinking?”
“I don’t know, maybe she was drunk when she picked it out?”
“Maybe she was going for the ‘pigs in a blanket’ look?”
“You’re so mean”
“Oh shut up you were thinking the same thing b*tch, you were thinking that she’s not only colorblind, but she has bad taste”
“I know, but you said it!”
I have had this conversation in a variety of ways with many of my girlfriends. Usually it’s more crass too – I kept this one pretty PG-13. I know it’s mean, I know it’s beyond catty and childish but when you fight dirty, nothing is out of bounds. During my fashion dark-age, I am willing to guarantee that other women had the same conversation about my poor choices. Many women have looked at me, pointed and laughed. So I rationalize my catty actions by saying, “it’s my turn b*tches.”
Tonight, Liz, Anne and I went purse shopping (not for me) and out to sushi for dinner. It was a perfect girls night out with some appropriate, non-catty, super supportive girl talk. And walking to the El, it was exactly what I needed after a long week.
Now Sarah and I are going to buy my super-not-necessary-but-gee-I-want-it birthday gift this weekend. And I cannot wait to get some tips about how I should cut my hair in two weeks and what MAC eyeshadow colors I should invest in. Plus I’m sure we’ll find at least one person to make fun of.
Sounds like a solid time! Girl talk thoughts from anyone else?

29 Comments

  1. Little Miss Obsessive says:

    My friends and I often get coffee at night and will sit in the coffee shop or sometimes if its too late in the car and talk for hours. Some good girl talk happens over that coffee. To tell you the truth, many times its not the coffee I wanted in the first place, it’s the girl talk I needed. :)

  2. G+D says:

    Your opening paragraph cracked me up: “Troubled economy? Get a room of women together (with drinks) and it will be balanced within a day.” My thoughts exactly, lol! Love it!

  3. Maxie says:

    I heart girl talk, but I totally agree with you about girls being mean when they get together! It just comes out in me out of no where.

  4. Princess Pointful says:

    Hi lady! Sorry I have been so MIA lately… visiting the folks means very little chance for covert blogging.

    It is funny how much you realize is on your mind when you get a chance to start letting it out.
    And, yes, sometimes it is such a relief that someone has the same bitchy thought as you– and has the courage to say it first!!

  5. jamie says:

    I LOVE girl talk! In fact, this afternoon/evening, that is exactly what I am going to do! Over lots of glasses of wine and good food! I can hardly wait. There’s nothing quite like the power of your girlfriends! Sounds like you had a great time!!! :)

  6. SF says:

    I miss having close girlfriends *sigh*

  7. thegoodnamesaretaken says:

    I’m always judging people’s outfits and I feel bad about it (especially because I’m usually not wearing anything that great either) but I just can’t help it! I like having my girls but sometimes the catty/drama stuff is too much.

  8. Joy @ Big Time Fancy says:

    Just an FYI:
    If you’re visiting on Saturday night, The Bar will be packed and LOUD and douchetastic. My goal will be to finagle as much money as humanly possible from the douchetards. Just a head’s up, that after about 9:30pm, it gets a little lame. Prior to 9? Gravy.

  9. Katelin says:

    sounds like my kind of weekend. and seriously who doesn’t love girl talk? i think we all do. whether to be helpful or bitchy, you just gotta get it out sometimes.

  10. thatShortChick says:

    this makes me miss my girls from jersey. i haven’t had really good “girl talk” in years.

  11. Jenn says:

    Hi. I <3 yo face. That is all.

  12. LBluca77 says:

    I tend to get myself in trouble because I do say what I am thinking and then people think I am a bitch for it. At least I have the guts to say what I am thinking. The girls that don’t say anything, but then have no problem pointing out you are a bitch for saying something are the real bitches. Stating my opinion does not make me a bitch, but thinking I am a bitch for having an opinion make them a bitch. Oh I think I got a bit angry there. HA! Great post though.

  13. Miss Grace says:

    of my friends just told me that I’m a “safe space” for her to say all the absolute meanest things in her head without judgment. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

  14. Joy @ Big Time Fancy says:

    I am never so happy as when I am drunk and catty with my favorite girls.

  15. Mandy says:

    Girl talk is an absolute MUST! I love it all too– the good, the bad, and the bitchy, and yes drinks should always be involved.

    Have a fun weekend!

  16. Ashley says:

    Oh, I wish I had more friends around!!

    :)

    Blogging is kind of like supportive, girl talk, though. Maybe that’s why we all love it so much. (There are def. some catty people on here, though!)

  17. ToughGirl101 says:

    I think that almost 90% of my friends and co-workers are male, but those 10% female are the ones that will be around longer… just sayin’. Guys are fun to look at, but as far as conversation goes, they’re somehow lacking.

  18. Sandy says:

    AGREED.

  19. Cheryl says:

    Girl talk=essential. Cause we get how each others’ minds work. So we say the right things and can give good advice. I know this from experience this week especially.

    Have fun extending your birthday. Only way to be, really.

  20. maris says:

    It’s the best when someone says something bitchy that you were thinking, but didn’t say! It’s like “phew, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that dress was hideous.” or whatever. i think that we all have an inner regina george :)

  21. About Jen, Domestic Goddess says:

    Girl dates are the best :-) I had two yesterday myself! I totally agree that girlfriends are so important, and it’s especially important to maintain these relationships as we get older and into increasingly serious relationships with dudes. And yes, there is always cattiness, but balanced with a sense of humor and respect, I think that can be ok. Yay girls!

  22. wontletlifedefineme says:

    I don’t know many girls who could survive without girl talk. My best friend and I both got a ‘free calls to landlines’ phone subscription so we can talk for hours. Until my boyfriend starts complaining we’ll see each other in a few days/hours and what will we talk about then? He’s known both of us for 5 years and still can’t grasp the concept of girl talk, poor thing. ;)

  23. bianca says:

    I live for girl talk. There is something about being in a group of close girl friends that’s so comfortable. It’s like you can say things with them that you wouldn’t dare say in front of anyone else. And my favorite part is that the convos are so random. You can start by talking about a guy which will lead to a conversation about something you read on wikipedia which then leads to discussion about America’s next top model. It’s fantastic.

  24. megkathleen says:

    I don’t know what I would do without my girlfriends! I need somebody to over-analyze stuff with. Plus, like you, I can be a judgmental b*tch sometimes and it’s nice (ironically) to have friends that don’t judge me for it.

  25. Vanessa says:

    I love girl talk! I love getting together, glasses of wine, dinner and just talking. It’s even better to me when we talk about ideas, problems, solutions and creativity. The why not? of course you can do it! we’ll fix whatever is stopping you! kind of support is the absolute best. Sometimes if something is really outrageous, like someone’s outfit, I’ll comment on it, but I so rarely get the girl time, I just soak it up and usually the conversation doesn’t make it to catty-ness outside the group. It makes me giddy to think about the next girl talk time I have coming up!

  26. TKTC says:

    Oh boy, er, girls…agree with the world issues panel particularly with wine. Boys and Wine too. Really everything and wine.

  27. Caz says:

    This is one thing I miss about having my girlfriends over across the world. I miss the shopping and chatting, the great conversations and the catty gossip! While I do have girls here in Melbs, they’re either couple friends of AB’s and mine, or not yet close enough to do this sort of thing.

  28. Rachel says:

    apparently we need to hangout more, because I always try to contain my bitch side…but it feels oh so good to let her out. I’m always afraid that I’ll be viewed as bitchy, maybe I just need some fellows bitches to let loose with once in a while.

 

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