I am a freak magnet. If there is a crazy or wildly insane person with a certain radius, they find me and somehow lose their sh*t at me. This point has been agreed up on by several of my friends. The phrase, “that only happens to you” is said to me a lot.
I have zero idea what I wear or do that attracts these people to me. Perhaps it’s some sort of sick pheromone that brings them in my direction, without me knowing it.
For example, over a year ago, a woman bumped into me on the sidewalk across from a CVS. I told her to watch where she was going (she didn’t even fake apologize) and the woman promptly turned and started s-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g at me. She used words I can’t even say on this blog. Yes, my comment might have antagonized her a bit but she got so out of control that my friend Ryan had to physically hold her back from attacking me.
Then, last January, I went grocery shopping with my dad and an elderly woman at the Jewel began screaming swear words at me when I moved my cart around hers and dinged her cart by accident. I did apologize after it happened but that didn’t stop the woman from tearing into me. Dad looked horrified but I just sighed, as it did not surprise me in the least.
Yesterday even, I was sitting on the bus, en route to work, and a woman behind me grabbed or petted my hair as I was getting ready to leave. To be fair, there is a 50 percent chance my hair was grabbed by accident in the crush to exit the bus, but there was a definite grab and hold
before my hair was relinquished. Maybe the Bumble & Bumble
shampoo I use does smell that good. People are apparently compelled to hold it.
See, I bring out freakish behavior! Watch out if you’re ever around me because I can’t guarantee what will happen. You’ve been warned.
FYI: Happy Halloween everyone! I’m not a costume person so I will be dressing up as a young-professional-woman-dressed-for-casual-Friday. I hope no one steals that idea.
Big Halloween weekend plans for anyone else? Costume choices or ideas? I’m always open to hearing people’s creative choices. One year a friend made a costume out of an old moving box and went as “box of wine” with Franzia painted on the side Genius.
Reader note: Thank you SO much everyone for your kind comments on my rockin’ legwarmers. Everyone’s sweet comments really made my day :) I’m glad you also enjoyed the 80s TV flashback, but I did forget “Saved by the Bell,” which was a horrible oversight. I will post a link on Sunday to the pattern for the legwarmers in case you want to make them yourself. It might be tough to knock out in a weekend but definitely in two weeks, depending how tall you want them to be. You guys are awesome!