I am a pretty forgiving person, but I am pretty cut and dry on the topic of cheating.
Cheating is something I do not tolerate. Call me unforgiving and rigid, but I have more experience with cheating than I want to, so this has shaped my opinion on the topic.
In my experience: If you’re really happy in your relationship, you don’t cheat.
When my ex-boyfriend admitted he cheated on me – to help his conscience feel better – I asked why he would do this, especially because I thought we were happy. And he said, “if I had everything I wanted, I wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere.” Yes. He was a winner.
But some of my guys friends have said, “what do you define as cheating?” And let’s look beyond the whole Road Trip movie definition of cheating, being in separate area codes, etc.
Is kissing cheating? Especially if it happens in a bar while intoxicated? You might not have knowingly done it otherwise so it shouldn’t count right?
Hmmm, that’s a tough sell. It may be misguided but “in vino veritas” has some truth to it. Usually, if I’ve had too much to drink, I may misbehave but it’s because my actions have some element of truth to them. Especially when it comes to guys.
I’m not saying you have to be a saint and never look at another man or woman again, but I almost have to agree with my ex, if you’re really happy, you don’t cheat, in any way. I also firmly believe in trust in a relationship too and cheating betrays that fundamental trust. Honestly, I don’t know if I could ever trust my boyfriend again if he cheated.
For girls, I also adhere very well to the rule of “not dating a friend’s ex.” I fear I might be one of the few that still do this too after two former friends dated two of my separate exes and told me to “get over it.” Maybe this is a bigger issue of attracting the wrong kind of people to me as friends/boyfriends.
I really enjoyed the feedback to my post about living together before marriage so I’m very curious to hear everyone’s thoughts about this topic too.
Could you forgive cheating, or have you in the past? If you did cheat, did you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend? Or would you date your friend’s ex? Is there ever a gray area in that issue?
