Archive for May 2009

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19 May 2009

Boy phone conversation fail

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Relationships
Here’s a tip for guys of what not to do when talking to a woman you’ve met on Match.com for the first time: Pay attention and turn the sports off.

Trust me, I can tell when you’re not actually listening to the conversation.

I bring this up because I had my first phone call with a guy I met on Match.com last week. The guy, Mr. Cubs, is a few years younger than me, but he was nice by e-mail, so I was okay with chatting with him on the phone. What could it hurt? It’s part of me “getting back out there!“
Anyhow, we get to talking and after a few awkward pauses, I notice that I’m answering all the questions. Well, I don’t want to sound controlling so I back off and let him contribute. Then I realize there are changes in his voice, as if he’s, well not paying attention. Okay, that’s definitely not cool. Strike one.

So after he confirms that he’s flipping between sports games while we’re on the phone, I decide to move the conversation to things we may have in common.

Let’s join our conversation:
Me: So yeah do you watch a lot of television? What are your favorite shows?
Mr. Cubs: Yeah I don’t really watch a lot of television. I think it’s dumb. I do like HIMYM though
Me: Yeah I hear that’s a great show. Television is something I kind of splurge on, but I don’t watch it all the time. I love LOST and Friday Night Lights, the Office….
Mr. Cubs: Yeah I don’t really watch any of those. I just think TV is dumb if you’re not watching sports
Me: Um, okay, did you see Star Trek at all? Do you like going to see movies? I love going to movies
Mr. Cubs: No not really. I would never go see something like that. Movies are dumb too. I would rather be caddying for extra money on the weekend then spend the day at the theater with some girl [note: he caddy's to make extra money while working toward his teaching certification]
Me: Even if you’re dating that girl?
Mr. Cubs: Yeah, total waste of time
I think you can tell from this exchange how the rest of this call went. More awkward and dramatic pauses and pretty much me trying to get off the phone as soon as possible.
So he didn’t work out, time for the next one!! And there is the possibility of a promising one on the horizon, one who likes movies and the same TV shows as me!

What are your “phone” pet peeves? People not paying attention? Calling from a loud public place? Call waiting?

Reader note: O-M-G. I really enjoyed everyone’s comments yesterday about the soda vs. pop and accents post. I was truly shocked by the response and appreciate everyone weighing in. Some of the seriously cracked me up and it was so nice to hear where everyone is from too!

I have to say, Jade, you are my girl for acknowledging the crap we get from WI about our “a” pronunciation. Thank you for that.

And butnoteveryday, I say “p-ill-ow.” Boy I hope I’m not alone in that either.
Rebecca – You are right, it is Eeeeerrrrrrreeeee. JiT is wrong

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18 May 2009

My Midwest accent and the pop/soda debate

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Food, Friends, Random, Wisconsin
Hello. My name is Jess, I’m from Wisconsin and I allegedly “talk funny.”
Why? Because I have a Midwest accent. Or so I’m told.
According to my friends who tease me about this,  I say weird things like “soda” versus “pop,” “bubbler” versus “water fountain” and “Tyme machine” instead of “ATM.” Personally, I don’t think those words are out of the ordinary.
Or maybe my accent is just more subtle than others. I do know that my friends love to point out my exaggerated pronunciation of the letter “a” thus making the word “bag” come out as a multi-syllable word.  I’m now self-conscious about it.
But the most common terminology people correct me on is the whole “pop” versus “soda” debate, because that can be a dead ringer about what part of the country you’re from.
When I lived in Minnesota, it was “pop” and people immediately pegged me as a Wisconsin-er because I said “soda.” Sadly, after two years in Minnie, I did start saying “pop,” but I broke that habit quickly.
A few weeks ago, co-workers and I even started debating and teasing each other about our preferred terminology for this heavenly, carbonated beverage.
I even saw a map on Google to help explain what different parts of the country call it.
So what do you say, pop or soda? And do you get teased for an “accent” as well?
Reader note: Thank you everyone for your hilarious comments on the key learnings. I’m glad everyone agrees that the phrase “fanny packs” are a dirty word (even if it’s $445 by Prada) and that there are other X-Men/Wolverine fans. Who doesn’t love a hot man with his shirt off…or more.

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17 May 2009

Key learnings, fanny packs and hot men doing battle

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Fashion, Food, Movies
Happy Sunday everyone! I am super excited because we had two consecutive days of no rain in Chicago. It makes me forget about running to the cab in a downpour on Friday.
And this is my last full week of work before I begin taking the insane amount of vacation time I’ve hoarded. Yes, that was not a good idea, but hey, let’s hit the key learnings!
Key Learnings:
  • “You can dress it up and slap a designer label on it, but it’s still a fanny pack,” you’re right Cheryl, fanny packs are just wrong. Too bad we see so many of them downtown in summer
  • Do not watch TV shows about home break ins at night when you are…home alone
  • When random guys (including Frenchmen) hit on my friends, I get free things like drinks and food by association. Woo!
  • Raspberry vodka is much better than pineapple vodka, especially on an empty stomach
  • Putting a fried egg on just about any piece of food makes it better
  • Crack is whack. Remember that when you bend over while wearing low-rise jeans
  • Not collapsing a stroller on the bus is more obnoxious than tourists downtown
  • I hate paying taxes and the smell of cigarette smoke, more than anything
  • It’s still satisfying to hear your parent’s say “you were right”
  • There is someone else who is actually deader inside than me
Hot men doing battle
I must be going into heat because right now, watching action movies on the weekend gets me all flustered. I just imagine they’re fighting over me. Boys, there’s plenty of me to go around, stop! Chris Pine, Hugh Jackman, let’s all get along.
As a follow up to the Star Trek hotness from last weekend, my newly retired bloggy friend Cheryl and I went to see Wolverine today and my man Hugh Jackman didn’t disappoint.
There was even a sequence of him running nude. HELLO! I think my heart stopped for a minute. I had several minutes of quick flashes of his butt and lower torso. I almost blacked out from joy from the image too. Fortunately, I was fine, but him resuscitating me would have been helpful.
But since hot men don’t travel alone, he had his merry cast of hot to semi-hot male back-ups, including Ryan Reynolds (whose “gun show” had major fire power, Scarlett you’re so lucky) and Taylor Kistch from Friday Night Lights. Riggins! He’s not as boozed up and man-whorey dirty in this movie, but still, I’d roll around in the dirt with him. Oh and of course, Liev Schreiber, who is still nice to look at, minus the mutton chops. Chops are meant to be eaten, not grow like a rash on your face.
I can’t lie, there were some hammy parts and painfully obvious CGI, but it was good, mindless fun. And as the weather continues to get nice, I’ll quote my friend Teresa who said, “I don’t like to see movies that make me think.” Right now, I concur.
Did everyone else have a great weekend?
Reader note: For everyone asking about Project Runway on Lifetime, it doesn’t start until August 20 :( I thought it was supposed to start in June! Well I guess Top Chef Masters will have to do in the meantime.

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14 May 2009

Reality show guilty pleasures

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: television

I love watching the news and TODAY show, but lately, it’s been kind of a downer. Recession, storms, murder, etc. Not exactly something pleasant to start the morning. Oh and the good television is going on hiatus now for the summer, so that’s a double FAIL.

So I’m finding comfort and fun in total fluff television, aka reality shows.
And lately, the ones I cannot seem to stop watching are The Real Housewives of [insert city], Millionaire Matchmaker and Make Me A Supermodel. I blame the last one on the lack of Project Runway in my life. Fortunately that will be fixed soon.
So why do I love these shows, it’s simple. Pure 100 percent entertainment without an ounce of thought.
I don’t have to think about why Kelly is crazy or what lead her to be as absentminded as she is. I can just bask in the fact that she enjoys jogging in the middle of NYC traffic and dressing like a hippie when she should be wearing a bra.
And I don’t want to know more about Simon and Alex, I enjoy watching them tactlessly decorate their brownstone like a bordello or vampire lair and laugh as their children remain unparented and running amok. It’s great!
Now the Real Housewives of New Jersey has started and I’m sure I’ll seamlessly move right to that series too. And those women are k-r-a-z-e-e too. I’ve never heard the word “bubbies” used so frequently in one period of time.
Oh and Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker is my total hero. I always enjoy watching her sass some woman “auditioning” for the Millionaire’s Club or telling some spoiled man he’s white trash. Sure it’s harsh, but when it’s not targeted at you, it’s just fun!
So while I’m reality TV obsessed, I refuse to start watching the new VH-1 show, New York Gets a Job. That’s just a gimme for teasing and I don’t think I could stomach it.
What reality shows are you obsessed with right now? Or what shows are your guilty pleasures? Is anyone else looking forward to Project Runway coming back?

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12 May 2009

The best summer job

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Wisconsin, work
When I was in high school and college, I had a lot of menial summer jobs. And I viewed almost all of them the same why, as a short-term stop on my way to partying with my friends and goofing around.
Accountability and responsibility? No thank you sir or madam.
Oh those were the good old days.
My menial jobs ranged from retail to warehouse work, but the best summer job I ever had was working as a “barista” at Gloria Jeans, a coffee store chain, at the local mall. Spend all day making drinks and insulting customers behind their back? Yes please!
It was such a fun job, full of entertaining co-workers, all the coffee/smoothies I could drink, fresh bakery and trips to the storage area, which I coupled with a smoke break or quiet time resting my feet on boxes. Who could ask for anything more?
Yes, I am a much better employee now, but back then, being a “reliable worker” was good enough. And, most of my menial jobs took me back as an employee because I didn’t a) steal from them and/or b) skip work because I was drunk (too often). Both important qualities in a trustworthy worker.
I didn’t have to take these jobs seriously because I was going to college where I would meet the man of my dreams and get a degree, leading to getting a good job (only two of those three things actually happened for me).
And while I rocked the jean shirt, khakis and apron at Gloria Jeans, I relished in the fact that the biggest decision I had to make was there was what the daily coffee selection would be and ensuring I used skim rather than 2% when making someone’s latte.
You know, managing the tough decisions.
The job also indulged my anal retentiveness by giving me the chance to grind beans, making sure every bean was crushed and cleaning the space up with a brush. Seriously, it doesn’t take much to entertain me.
I bring this up today because I was fondly thinking of these memories, when you weren’t expected to work hard or do more than your manager asked for because, well it wasn’t ultimately your responsibility what happened to that store. You worried about getting paid on time, making sure you had enough shifts to save for school and go out.
My how things change when you join the full-time workforce. But now you get more perks, like paid vacation time and 401k. Yes, it’s the small things that count. And should I hit the jackpot in the lottery, my resume is ready to go back to Gloria Jeans, where I can kick back and relax.
The question for tonight: what was your favorite or least favorite summer job?

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