Comments on: Wedding thank you notes (and the drama with them) http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:07:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Kylie Sanchez http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-17420 Kylie Sanchez Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:45:33 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-17420 my sister always like to attend bridal showers and she enjoys it a lot-", my sister always like to attend bridal showers and she enjoys it a lot-”,

]]> By: Morgan Palmer http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-15647 Morgan Palmer Thu, 12 Aug 2010 03:44:10 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-15647 i enjoy attending bridal showers coz there are lots of pretty ladies and it is enjoyable too;;: i enjoy attending bridal showers coz there are lots of pretty ladies and it is enjoyable too;;:

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6158 Anonymous Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:56:25 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6158 I think if a person forgets to send a thank-you note once for something like a shower (where you were there when they opened the gift & know they got it), then it's forgivable to not send a card. Not ideal, but forgivable.<br /><br />But a while back, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and gave the couple two very nice shower gifts (at two different types of showers), and one very large monetary gift at their wedding. I also spent nearly $300 on the bridesmaid dress she picked out, and then of course there was money for hair, shoes, etc. I did not receive thank you gifts for ANY of these things (she could have reasonably written me 4 different notes, but one would have sufficed). I did get a short my-how-we've-grown note with a small gift at the rehearsal dinner, but nothing at all acknowledging my gifts. I have to admit, I'm offended, but I don't think there's any proper way to communicate this.<br /><br />Furthermore, she had her cards collected in one of those birdcages on the card table, which sticky fingers could easily slip through to grab a few cards. And seeing as how my check was cashed on their honeymoon, when I know they were out of town and nowhere near their bank, I honestly wonder whether they ever actually received the gift, or if it was stolen.<br /><br />Any suggestion on how to bring this up with a friend after many months have passed? I think if a person forgets to send a thank-you note once for something like a shower (where you were there when they opened the gift & know they got it), then it's forgivable to not send a card. Not ideal, but forgivable.

But a while back, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and gave the couple two very nice shower gifts (at two different types of showers), and one very large monetary gift at their wedding. I also spent nearly $300 on the bridesmaid dress she picked out, and then of course there was money for hair, shoes, etc. I did not receive thank you gifts for ANY of these things (she could have reasonably written me 4 different notes, but one would have sufficed). I did get a short my-how-we've-grown note with a small gift at the rehearsal dinner, but nothing at all acknowledging my gifts. I have to admit, I'm offended, but I don't think there's any proper way to communicate this.

Furthermore, she had her cards collected in one of those birdcages on the card table, which sticky fingers could easily slip through to grab a few cards. And seeing as how my check was cashed on their honeymoon, when I know they were out of town and nowhere near their bank, I honestly wonder whether they ever actually received the gift, or if it was stolen.

Any suggestion on how to bring this up with a friend after many months have passed?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6159 Anonymous Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:58:28 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6159 i got married this past february, and we're just getting thank you cards out now. but you would not believe how many people are actually complaining that it's taking so long! the thank you cards are coming complete with a wedding picture, frame, and any pictures of them at the wedding. but really, i have never thought twice about receiving a thank you card after i went to a wedding (and gave very large gifts i might add). I was just happy to be there. and speaking from a bride's point of view, we paid at least $150/ person when you add up food, chair covers, napkins, favors etc. It would be rude of ME, knowing those prices, to ever expect a thank you in the mail. and when I do receive one, i feel like saying, "save the stamp, you threw an awesome party and we were happy to just share in the blessing of marriage with you." But since we live in a world where people wait around looking for a thank you, in gifts that should have been done in unconditional giving, you definitely need to acknowledge your gratitude. For some people, it really does mean alot, it may be the only thanks they get all year. i got married this past february, and we're just getting thank you cards out now. but you would not believe how many people are actually complaining that it's taking so long! the thank you cards are coming complete with a wedding picture, frame, and any pictures of them at the wedding. but really, i have never thought twice about receiving a thank you card after i went to a wedding (and gave very large gifts i might add). I was just happy to be there. and speaking from a bride's point of view, we paid at least $150/ person when you add up food, chair covers, napkins, favors etc. It would be rude of ME, knowing those prices, to ever expect a thank you in the mail. and when I do receive one, i feel like saying, "save the stamp, you threw an awesome party and we were happy to just share in the blessing of marriage with you." But since we live in a world where people wait around looking for a thank you, in gifts that should have been done in unconditional giving, you definitely need to acknowledge your gratitude. For some people, it really does mean alot, it may be the only thanks they get all year.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6160 Anonymous Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:36:16 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6160 Wow, the first commenter is not the sort of friend I would like to have. How rude.<br /><br />Anyway, the whole one year to send a gift and one year to send a thank you note thing is nonsense. I don't know how that started, but etiquette dictates no longer than three months after the wedding (see <a href="http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/tips/wedding_gifts.htm" rel="nofollow">here</a> and <a href="http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/etiquette/postings/wedding_thankyous.htm" rel="nofollow">here</a>).<br /><br />And it's not just an appreciation thing. If you mail a gift and don't receive a note, it leaves you wondering if it was received. Wow, the first commenter is not the sort of friend I would like to have. How rude.

Anyway, the whole one year to send a gift and one year to send a thank you note thing is nonsense. I don't know how that started, but etiquette dictates no longer than three months after the wedding (see here and here).

And it's not just an appreciation thing. If you mail a gift and don't receive a note, it leaves you wondering if it was received.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6161 Anonymous Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:30:05 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6161 Hi. I just got married on June 6th and I have not sent out a large majority of my shower thank you notes. I have read so many diffent comments...ahh. Is it acceptable to send one thank you note for multiple gifts? Hi. I just got married on June 6th and I have not sent out a large majority of my shower thank you notes. I have read so many diffent comments…ahh. Is it acceptable to send one thank you note for multiple gifts?

]]> By: RebeccaC http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6162 RebeccaC Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:24:04 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6162 As a newlywed in the midst of writing mine, I would never dream of NOT doing them...but I do hope people will understand that its taking some time. I have nearly 200 to write and its taking longer than I'd expected. I hope to have all of them out within 3-4 months of the wedding at most though (including yours ;-)). I hope that its still acceptable. As a newlywed in the midst of writing mine, I would never dream of NOT doing them…but I do hope people will understand that its taking some time. I have nearly 200 to write and its taking longer than I'd expected. I hope to have all of them out within 3-4 months of the wedding at most though (including yours ;-)). I hope that its still acceptable.

]]> By: Rebekah http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6163 Rebekah Fri, 05 Jun 2009 10:59:41 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6163 Oh yes, TY notes are a must. I still send them after Christmas and birthdays because I know it really means a lot to my family. People love to get such a simple thing - so much of the mail is bills and dumb stuff these days, and a TY makes people smile.<br /><br />You may have 300 to write, but you also get a shizload of gifts you picked out yourself. Waah. Write them or don't expect anyone to show up for your baby shower. Oh yes, TY notes are a must. I still send them after Christmas and birthdays because I know it really means a lot to my family. People love to get such a simple thing – so much of the mail is bills and dumb stuff these days, and a TY makes people smile.

You may have 300 to write, but you also get a shizload of gifts you picked out yourself. Waah. Write them or don't expect anyone to show up for your baby shower.

]]> By: K http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6164 K Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:42:40 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6164 Sorry a little late on the comment...<br />I was the MOH in my best friend's wedding last July. She did not send out thank yous (it was a very small wedding). I more than once told her that perhaps she should. Apparently she got as far as writing them, but was just too lazy to address them and mail them out.<br />Her justification was that she already thanked everyone at the wedding.<br />False. My parents (who did not attend because they were not invited) sent them a hefty check. They obviously didn't receive a thank you at the wedding, and certainly didn't receive a thank you note either.<br />I find that extremely rude, and now my parents think of that every time they see my friends.<br /><br />If you're old enough to get married, you should be responsible enough to write and mail a thank you note to everyone who spent money on you or attended your wedding. It's the right thing to do. Sorry a little late on the comment…
I was the MOH in my best friend's wedding last July. She did not send out thank yous (it was a very small wedding). I more than once told her that perhaps she should. Apparently she got as far as writing them, but was just too lazy to address them and mail them out.
Her justification was that she already thanked everyone at the wedding.
False. My parents (who did not attend because they were not invited) sent them a hefty check. They obviously didn't receive a thank you at the wedding, and certainly didn't receive a thank you note either.
I find that extremely rude, and now my parents think of that every time they see my friends.

If you're old enough to get married, you should be responsible enough to write and mail a thank you note to everyone who spent money on you or attended your wedding. It's the right thing to do.

]]> By: bianca http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6165 bianca Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:36:46 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6165 I think you should always write a thank you note, regardless of how much the gift cost. People take time to come to your wedding, and if they bought a gift, a card is the least you could do. I know it can be daunting - I just sent out thank you cards for the gifts from my bridal shower. But it's a definite do. I think you should always write a thank you note, regardless of how much the gift cost. People take time to come to your wedding, and if they bought a gift, a card is the least you could do. I know it can be daunting – I just sent out thank you cards for the gifts from my bridal shower. But it's a definite do.

]]> By: Lil' Woman http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6166 Lil' Woman Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:47:16 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6166 Thank you notes are def. in order and from what I know they should be sent out ASAP..or the latest a couple of months Thank you notes are def. in order and from what I know they should be sent out ASAP..or the latest a couple of months

]]> By: pinksundrops http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6167 pinksundrops Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:49:17 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6167 To play the devil's advocate, what about a thank you for the HUGE party a bride throws after her wedding? We all think we should be thanked for the gift, however, big or small. But what about the upwards of $50 dinner the bride and groom paid on your behalf for EACH of you for the right for you to attend the reception? Don't they deserve a thank you note for that? In essence the gift is part of that thank you, so I call it even trade if no one ends up sending out a thank you note!!<br /><br />So many people have done nice things for me and continue to without a thank you note on my part that I realize it isn't all about the thank you note. It's about somebody caring enough for you to do something for you. In turn, I have done things and given things to so many people I've never received a thank you from and am no less jaded about the fact. I just feel grateful those type of people are in my life, and that I can be that person in somebody elses life, thank you note or no. To play the devil's advocate, what about a thank you for the HUGE party a bride throws after her wedding? We all think we should be thanked for the gift, however, big or small. But what about the upwards of $50 dinner the bride and groom paid on your behalf for EACH of you for the right for you to attend the reception? Don't they deserve a thank you note for that? In essence the gift is part of that thank you, so I call it even trade if no one ends up sending out a thank you note!!

So many people have done nice things for me and continue to without a thank you note on my part that I realize it isn't all about the thank you note. It's about somebody caring enough for you to do something for you. In turn, I have done things and given things to so many people I've never received a thank you from and am no less jaded about the fact. I just feel grateful those type of people are in my life, and that I can be that person in somebody elses life, thank you note or no.

]]> By: Ashley http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6168 Ashley Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:47:20 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6168 Thank you notes are required and the sooner you get them out, the better. But, mentioning anything to the couple who received the gift is very tacky and I wouldn't recommend it. Thank you notes are required and the sooner you get them out, the better. But, mentioning anything to the couple who received the gift is very tacky and I wouldn't recommend it.

]]> By: Geggie http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6169 Geggie Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:27:51 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6169 This brought me out of lurking!! Absolutely, without a doubt a thank you note should be sent via mail. There is NO ROOM for negotiations on this one. It is in extremely poor taste not to send a thank you note for any gift, but particularly a wedding gift. Where the gift came from or the value of the gift is of no consequence. <br /><br />But, what are you going to do? If the rude bride and groom aren't sending thank you's, shame on them. I suppose the gift giver could ask, "Did you receive my gift, I didn't receive verification of such."<br /><br />Seriously, people are so tacky!<br /><br />I'm off to write a thank you to the friend who treated me to dinner last night. This brought me out of lurking!! Absolutely, without a doubt a thank you note should be sent via mail. There is NO ROOM for negotiations on this one. It is in extremely poor taste not to send a thank you note for any gift, but particularly a wedding gift. Where the gift came from or the value of the gift is of no consequence.

But, what are you going to do? If the rude bride and groom aren't sending thank you's, shame on them. I suppose the gift giver could ask, "Did you receive my gift, I didn't receive verification of such."

Seriously, people are so tacky!

I'm off to write a thank you to the friend who treated me to dinner last night.

]]> By: Tonya http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6170 Tonya Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:42:13 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6170 Definitely send out thank you notes!!! And in a timely fashion...don't wait months on end to do it. Definitely send out thank you notes!!! And in a timely fashion…don't wait months on end to do it.

]]> By: Bluebelle http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6171 Bluebelle Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:20:26 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6171 I for one underestimated how long it takes to write thank you notes...it's about 9 months since our wedding and we haven't finished ours yet. That said, I don't expect thank you notes from everyone we give gifts to - I know how much time they take and I don't give a gift to get a thank you. I for one underestimated how long it takes to write thank you notes…it's about 9 months since our wedding and we haven't finished ours yet. That said, I don't expect thank you notes from everyone we give gifts to – I know how much time they take and I don't give a gift to get a thank you.

]]> By: Katelin http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6172 Katelin Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:03:25 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6172 i'm not that great with writing thank you notes any more but i know for sure once i get married i will be all over sending those out. i just think it's rude to not do it. i'm not that great with writing thank you notes any more but i know for sure once i get married i will be all over sending those out. i just think it's rude to not do it.

]]> By: Miss Grace http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6173 Miss Grace Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:59:51 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6173 Thank you notes are absolutely necessary, in my opinion. Unless it's like, your mom or your sister or something. Thank you notes are absolutely necessary, in my opinion. Unless it's like, your mom or your sister or something.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6174 Anonymous Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:05:25 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6174 Thank you notes are a MUST. AND they need to be hand written, ot pre-printed and sign. Thank you notes are a MUST. AND they need to be hand written, ot pre-printed and sign.

]]> By: Cheryl http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6175 Cheryl Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:02:32 +0000 http://www.myeverydayadventures.com/2009/06/03/wedding-thank-you-notes-and-the-drama-with-them/#comment-6175 Not that I'm Emily Post or anything, but I believe standard etiquette is one year, at least that is what I understand from what I've read in Dear Prudence and the like. Not that I'm Emily Post or anything, but I believe standard etiquette is one year, at least that is what I understand from what I've read in Dear Prudence and the like.

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