I love talking to people who are also online dating because the stories we share are a) hilarious b) totally true and c) shocking, usually at the same time.
I’ve been on Match now for a few months and overall it’s been a pretty good experience. While Dayton is now totally out of the picture (I don’t think that’s a real shock), JohnBoy has entered the picture and I think he’ll be staying around for a while.
But I’m shocked by the balls of some of the Match.com guys because really, some just reinforce why they’re single. Honestly.
Here are two recent examples…
Phil lives in the Chicago suburbs and works in finance. He also has a little bit of a short temper and lack of finesse in communicating with women.
Why do you ask? Please let me explain.
Awhile ago, Phil and I winked at each other through Match and I was waiting for a first e-mail from him, because, well he initiated that communication so that makes sense.
Anyhow, when I was sending out “no thanks” messages to some guys, Phil accidentally received one, unbeknownst to me, because of an interweb/Match glitch. So Phil e-mails me asking if that message was sent in error because, well he was hoping it was a mistake. I received this message at work and couldn’t respond right away but made the note to clarify that with him later that night.
But I got sidetracked again and forgot to do so, unfortunately, Phil didn’t forget that he had asked me earlier if this was a mistake and sent me another message (not even 24 hours after his first one) that said, and I kid you not:
“I asked you a question.”
OH SNAP. It’s on b*tch.
Having a momentary Rage Girl episode, I respond to Phil right away with the following e-mail:
“Hi Phil, actually that ‘no thanks’ message was sent in error. I did get your earlier email and I’m sorry I could placate and coddle you in a more timely manner so you could feel better about yourself because the Match wasn’t officially closed. I guess I got busy…at my job…where I work during the day. But if you can apologize, check the bitchy attitude at the door and try again, I’ll see if I’m willing to give you another chance. Otherwise that ‘no thanks’ message will be for real.”
I hate being this kind of bitchy to guys but seriously, WTF? WTF?
Awhile ago I winked at this guy who was a little younger than I was looking for my guy to be, but was willing to give it a shot. Didn’t hear from him for about a month. Not a huge deal.
Then I come home one night and he’s emailed me the following:
“Hi I’m [insert name], the half-shirtless wonder! Your wicked gorgeous smile is a heart throbber. I would like to present you with four nice options:
- We can exchange not more than 3 detailed e-mails before meeting up or…
- We can exchange numbers and have 30 minutes of sparkling ear to ear conversation or…
- We can go on a nice date or…
- You tell me to go screw myself and stop writing you or you’re calling the cops
Options may be combined. Discuss.”
Seriously I laughed so hard out loud that I nearly had to sit down. Witty, yes, clever, yes but he lost me somewhere around the shirtless wonder and the use of the word “heart throbber.”
But I do have to say, a girl likes options.
So how would you have responded to these situations/e-mail conversations?