Happy Sunday! Wooo! Well last Sunday was my big birthday and rather than bore you with tales of week-after birthday shopping all day Saturday with TC (who is a major enabler), it’s letter-time.
I had several bees in my bonnet this week that I’d like to put out there on the interwebs. So here we go!
Chicago Transit Authority bus riders –
Please shower. Seriously, I’m tired of sitting next to people in the morning who don’t bathe regularly. I don’t want that stink on me! It makes my commute to work just awful because I have to breathe through my mouth. I know the commute sucks and I hate getting up earlier but trust me, even a two minute shower is going to feel great!
Or if you have a regular state cigarettes or whiskey scent on you, please, Febreeze before you go. I promise to say thank you.
Love, Fellow bus rider who DOES shower daily
Chicago women –
I know it’s cool for the end of August, but when it’s still 60-70 degrees outside, there is NO reason to wear Uggs. Save them for when we really need it, when it’s 30 degrees or below.
Don’t worry, that time is sadly coming faster than we want.
Love, A practical Uggs fan
I still love you and give you lots of money (hello were you there on Saturday? I was!) but your new return/exchange/rewards points policies suck a**.
If you’re going to make changes like that, please give notice to cardmembers in their statements so we know ahead of time. B*tches.
Love, Disgruntled Luxe card member
Emily Blunt –
First, you’re gorgeous. Seriously, I would LOVE to have a figure and flawless skin like yours. And I know I should say I’m happy for you that you’re marrying the man of my dreams, who is my soulmate and who I love/lust after regularly, but the news of your engagement to John K did make me very sad.
Way to kill my Friday. But to quote my buddy Maris, half of all marriages end in divorce anyhow, so I’ll make a suitable wife #2.
Don’t judge me, first Michael Buble and now John K? Come on girl, save some dreams for the rest of us!
Love, Anonymous ;)
The month of August and upcoming September –
Get your sh*t together.
Seriously. I don’t want sweltering heat but 60 degrees as a high during the day? WTF? I’m not ready to bring out the fall clothes yet. I still have cute summer things I would like to wear!
Love, Me and the Midwest
Jordin Sparks –
I’m totally addicted to your song, Battlefield. And I became addicted to it because my friend TC has gotten me into watching VH-1 in the mornings and I saw your video and now that’s all I can listen to.
Thanks for burning your catchy, Pat Benetar-inspired (but not really at all like) song into my head.
Love, A girl who needs to stop playing that song 10x a day
Kate Gosselin –
Please for the sweet love of god, don’t do any more media interviews. I’m tired of you appearing on the covers of my favorite magazines, like People and Us Weekly giving “exclusive” interviews.
I don’t want to read about your drama anymore!!! But thanks for the heads up about you appearing on The View, I will make sure not to watch.
Love, Me and hopefully a lot of other people
Geniuses at MadMenYourself.com –
Seriously, you guys deserve kudos for creating this. It not only killed an hour on my Sunday, but it also helped me get more excited about the new season starting.
And you let me look super curvy and cute in 1950s garb and pose with Don Draper. Meow. Thank you!
Love, A big Mad Men fan
Um here is my image, I know, I had some issues with the hair and nose but that dress and clutch, HELLO!:
Well those are my letters for this weekend, as you can see, I had a lot on my mind!
How was everyone else’s weekend? Do you agree with my letters or have some celebrity or issue you would like to write a strongly worded letter about?