That’s not really the line I got tonight when JohnBoy told me it was over, it was pretty much me.
Over? Was it ever really….on?
Whatever it was, last night, JohnBoy and I finally got to talk by phone after days of telephone tag and then came the inevitable part of the conversation, “so hey I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
And over the following minutes, we were really honest.
I don’t see this going anywhere (him)
Why? (me)
Timing
Busy summer work schedules (me)
Lots of travel (him and me)
Miscommunication that lead to us not talking about little things, leading to resentment (him and me)
And then it was done.
I told him I hoped we could keep in touch and see where things are at when stuff calms down but said that was his move and that I thought something might be there between us but that timing just worked against us in the end.
He didn’t exactly say something, but it’s okay, I’m not unfamiliar to any of this.
Now that it’s done, I still feel a mix of emotions: sad, disappointed and relieved. But mostly right now, sad. I have no real reason to feel that way, but I do.
And to make it worse, I can’t help but feel like the pathetic version of me came out again on the phone, asking to keep in touch, feeling like I should have done more to clear up miscommunications.
So it’s back to square one. And after getting my a** kicked this week by guys and relationships, I think it need a week off. And maybe a hug.
And a night out with LOTS of drinks :)
I promise the melodramatic posts about relationships are done for now! Onward and upward!
Don’t worry, love.. there is someone so much better out there for you.. and when you find him, you’ll be so grateful that it didn’t work out with any of these other bozos :)
Oh honey sugar!! I hope you have a really fabulous weekend.
I have now rejoined you on the edating situations. Thanks for the honesty in your postings, humour and all.
At least you know where you stand……have a drink on me.
Sorry to hear about John Boy! It is never easy being the one who is being broken up with, especially when you still have feelings for him. At least you had the conversation — my last breakup came in an eight-paragraph email — the day before Valentine’s Day. Take sometime to regroup and get right back on match.com. The right one is out there!!
I’m so sorry, lady. Things like this are always painful, and I wish I was there to give you a big hug. Or have lots and lots of drinks with you.
Let me know if you need anything or want to chat!
BIG hug for you love! :)
Man, it’s nice to read about this from someone else. We’ve all gone through these icky parts of relationships, I think, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Hope you’re girly-ing it up with movies and ice cream and so on. Big hugs to you!
Posting from The iPhone but wanted to send many hugs <3 I'll have a rum punch for you? Toast for you toast for me wish I could be there to give you a REAL toast a nice butt smacking to boot wait… Was that tmi?? Oh shit… :)
I am sorry that things didn’t work out for you with JohnBoy. Don’t doubt yourself. You deserve a good that sees your total worth.
Sending you a hug from NY!!!
Sorry to hear that it ended that way but as they say, it’s better to find out now rather than later.
Men suck.
“Boys are dumb!” That is the only motto girls should live by.
HUGS girl!
you’re awesome all by yourself, don’t let him get you down.
I’m glowering at the computer screen right now in hopes that JohnBoy can feel the glower from StL to Chicago. Stupid boys making you feel sad. In my opinion you’re a goddess (as all women are) and he should consider himself lucky that you even offered to stay in touch.
Big hugs.
sending lots of hugs your way. sorry it didn’t work out, but at least it wasn’t too too terrible right? upward and onward is right though! you’re a rock star, woo!
In my experience, being broken up with sucks, even if you weren’t into that person/saw it coming. I’m sorry. *hugs*
Leaving you a great big hug! I’m sure there’s a guy for you out there!
**hugs** i’ve been single for almost 2 years and always go for the ones that don’t like me. keep your head up!!!
Sorry it didn’t work out for you two. I think drinks and a girls’ night out are the best treatment for boy-related sadness! :)
I like Jenn’s idea and if I were close enough to Chicago, I’d join in on some Beatles Rock Band in a second.
Big hugs hun! Regardless of relationship status or whether it’s just starting out or ending after years, there’s always a little hurt involved if you aren’t the one backing away. That’s totally natural and there’s nothing wrong with trying to cling to some hope of at least a friendship afterward. As a girl, I understand exactly why you’d do that and want it, so it’s certainly logical to me.
A big hug and warm thoughts heading your way!
Hugs!
Hang in there. There really is someone wonderful out there for you, and he’s really hoping that you haven’t lowered your standards for someone sub par by the time he finds you!
Well, they can’t all be winners. Maybe it just WAS the timing. But Match has a million more guys so you’ll find one! Just keep optimistic!
sigh. we’ve all been there. i’m totally with jenn… you’re mister wonderful is still out there! promise. :)
i need to come back to chicago and take you out for a girls night! :)
We’ve all been there. Being dissappointed over something not working out is not a bad thing. Keep your chin up and keep looking, the right one is out there somewhere.
Oh how I’ve been there before (on the giving AND receiving ends). And let me just tell you that one of the things I love and hate about Chicago is there is no rush to settle down. It’s socially acceptable to be single for however long you like. Which is great in some ways (because who wants to feel pressured to settle down, right?). But sucks ass in others (there is this group-think mentality among a lot of 20-somethings that you shouldn’t settle down yet, that there’s someone better, something bigger out there, so keep up with the single thing). And that just stinks, because I’ve seen far too many people give up on great relationships just because. Ya know? What I can tell you, though, is another great thing about Chicago is it’s a HUGE city full of some amazing people. Keep yourself out there and you will find your special someone.
I so, so get this. We all get this. We’ve ALL been here, too many times.
I can promise you both a BIG hug and lots and lots of drinks in the next week.
(Can I get a HELL YES???)
Having just been there myself, I know exactly how you feel. I did pretty much the same thing as you, saying I hoped we could keep in touch, but I didn’t even mention the potential of us actually giving it another go at a later stage – guess I was scared of the possible rejection.
We’ll both find someone deserving of us eventually. :)
It’s ok to be disappointed! I think we’ve all wallowed a little over a dud guy. But just know that it is his loss, girlfriend.
I’m so sorry hun – I’m sending you HUGE hugs and wishing for you a wine-soaked weekend.
I don’t get this part… I mean, based on your previous postings, you didn’t seem like you were liking him all that much either, right? So maybe he was saying what was on your mind, too. In which case I would think a better response would have been “Me neither.”
If you both like each other, things will work out. If not, it’s not worth trying to keep it going. That’s what I’ve learned from the dating world :)
Good luck with future boys, though!
{{{BIIIIIIGGG SQUEEEEZZZZEE}}}
Relationships are tough and you gotta keep trying because otherwise you’ll never find the one…
You are entitled to feel whatever you’re feeling for him – it’s valid.
You’re a beautiful woman inside and out – just don’t forget that. I’ll be drinking my ass off for you this weekend and we’ll get drunk in Chicago and Florida!!!
Take a breather, Sweetie and come back strong and don’t ever give up:)
xoxo
Blah, men.
We’re here for you.
Sending hugs and drinks your way!
*hugs*
I’ve had my share of guy disappointments too, but I view every guy as a learning tool. Take away the things that made him great and find that in someone else. And hopefully that person will be the one that makes you want to be a better you. I mean that in a good way- I think the one you’re with should inspire you and excite you, the feeling where you want to be the best you possible. The guy I dated in January made me feel like that, but I still did everything to push him away as I had with others in the past. Lesson learned. Get rid of old habits, embrace that you are awesome and don’t be afraid to want what you want. You will find that perfect someone. Positive thoughts! :)
*hugs*
I second (third?) the wine suggestions!
And I also think you have every right to be sad. Even if a part of you knew he wasn’t “the one”, it’s still rough to make it official.
I’m sorry things didn’t work out. We will drink lots of wine and hug this weekend!
awe sweety!
you can come to my house and drink all the booze you want that i can’t drink because of my meds and we’ll play rockband and guitar hero!
sorry it ended badly :( definitely take a week (or a month or however long you want!!) and just enjoy yourself. :)
Yes…a week off. I’m coming to Chicago in a couple weeks if you’re open to some distraction!
I’m so sorry lady, take your time- I think a week to yourself sounds like a beautiful idea <3
I am sorry Jess. Sending lots of hugs your way.
Oh I agree about drinks. And I’ll give you a hug. Hugs!
Oh, Jessica, that absolutely sucks! I completely understand why you’d be sad. You liked him, the prospect of him excited you, and it’s no more. Totally worthy of a mourning period.
I also don’t think you showed the pathetic version of yourself. You were honest about how you felt, and I suppose you never know! But for now you do, and I’m sure that’s as equal a relief as it is a bummer.
Hope you have time for lots of drinks soon :-)
I think you need a night of wine and Beatles Rock Band.
I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I guess that means Mr. Wonderful is still out there! Sending you lots of hugs.