Archive for October 2009

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13 October 2009

Recent fall-induced old lady habits

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: apartment, family, Food, Random, work

I’ve been a bit “off” lately, which I’m blaming on the change in seasons. Yeah right now, the change in seasons is my scapegoat for everything.

For example, last night I meant to upload photos from my camera but didn’t because I was distracted by downloading Glee episodes on iTunes. I blame the change in seasons for that musical distraction.

But along with blaming the seasons for my absentmindedness, it has also caused some dormant “old lady” habits to surface too.

I started thinking about this after I saw a picture of my 14 year old goddaughter/cousin on Facebook going to her freshman year homecoming. She looked so beautiful and I choked up because I remember holding her as a baby and holding her hand as she learned to walk. And then I looked a picture of her full dress and said, “hmm that hem could be a little longer, below the knee Grace!”

Yes, that’s how sweet I am.

Now on to the other “old lady” habits I’ve adopted lately:

  • Unable to stay awake past 10 p.m. on weeknights (and wanting to sleep until 10 a.m. the next morning)
  • Commenting that high school girls’ senior photos look a little sluttier every year (my cousins showed me their yearbook)
  • Inability to understand “kids” lingo. For example, a younger coworker said the word “baller” in a sentence to me and I have to think about what that meant
  • Dislike of loud TVs or parties when I’m trying to go to sleep
  • The attraction and longing for napping
  • Exponential increase in bounce back time needed from drinking

Yeah, I need to get out more and be more reckless. Or I need to move to California where it’s sunny, warm and heavenly all the time. Or maybe it’s time for me to find a cul-de-sac in Florida where I can rest my back and swim by the pool. Sounds nice.

Have you noticed any “old lady” habits lately or a change in your moods because of the seasons? Or what would you like the blame the change in seasons for? Feel free to share, it’s not your fault!

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12 October 2009

Wedding fantasy vs reality

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: television, wedding

I am a huge Jim and Pam fan on The Office. Okay, cute Jim/Pam moments are half of the reason why I watch that show. Alright, a small percentage of that cuteness is also my borderline stalkerish love of John K.

Moving on, last week I watched the big Jim/Pam wedding episode (and the trailers obsessively) and cried, swooned and felt excessively happy. I mean, really, it was just too cute for words.

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And it got me thinking about my wedding fantasy and reality. Yeah I know, talking about my wedding when I’m not even dating, that’s healthy and makes SO much sense :) So here we go!

Fantasy 1: Black-tie affair with flowers, soft lighting and everyone looking dapper in their best dress

Reality 1: My family isn’t very formal. Khaki’s are “dressed up” for us, so I am willing to bet that “black tie” is not something in their closet.

Fantasy 2: Garden wedding, with seersucker, pastels, foliage everywhere and a comfortable, natural setting

Reality 2: I hate bugs, fear bees more than rats and it makes the wedding really weather-dependent. And I’m not the kind of girl who likes 50/50 odds on my weather forecast.

And, I love the women in my family, but they are a little…vocal…and opinionated, which made me realize too that the wedding ideas would likely go through rounds of negotiation with me likely not being the winner at the end.

But then I watch The Office and see Jim/Pam run off and get married (unofficially) on at boat in front of Niagara Falls and I swoon and think, wow, that is really intimate and romantic. As much as I want my family there when the big event does happen, the idea of running off and it being just me and Mr. Jess, that seems pretty perfect too, in fantasy and I’m sure reality.

So what about you? Do you want a big, formal wedding or do you favor running off and having a huge party after? Or if you are married, did your wedding day turn out just as you wanted it or did you ever consider eloping?

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11 October 2009

My hidden secret: shyness

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

I am many things but one thing I thought I wasn’t anymore: shy.

Seriously! When I was in middle and high school I was crippingly shy. Sure, I was outgoing and talkative and loud with friends, but if you dropped me into a room where I didn’t know anyone, I would clam up and keep to myself. Conversation would be kept to idle chatter at a lunch or meeting table but as soon as we were released from the group, I felt uncomfortable asking people around me if they wanted to hang out. Likely because I have a fear of rejection.

Anyhow, as I got older, this shyness became less of an issue. When I lived in Germany and moved to Minnesota, I was very outgoing, going up to people I didn’t know, making conversation, making friends, maybe even inviting myself along because, well, I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. And I was going to make them like me!

But this weekend the shyness blanket wrapped itself around me again (probably with a Snuggie-like fit) and I found myself regressing at times to my previous ways, quiet, making small talk and feeling genuinely uncomfortable at times. The girl who walks into a party, introduces herself, gives a firm handshake and then gets a drink and works the room was somehow gone!

Usually when stuff like this happens, I confront it head on to help me get over it. I used to be terrified of public speaking and rather than let that control me, I joined the high school debate team and forced myself to deal with that fear (and kick some debate a** in the process.) And with my sometimes shyness, I try to force myself to break that too.

I was even trying to give myself pep talks like, “go out there, go make friends, go find someone to talk to, come on!” and I finally came around a little bit but d*mn, I was completely shocked by my behavior!

The thing I hated about being shy in middle/high school is that I always felt uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in how I looked, how I spoke, how I acted and I’m not like that anymore. Sure, some days are better than others, but I’m not the crazy insecure, uncomfortable, isolated person I was before. And having those feelings creep up again definitely knocked me off my game.

I even told a few friends I have a tendency to be shy in public and they laughed. It may be shocking, but it’s one of those hidden personality traits that I rarely let people see.

But trust me, I’m sure we all have that one trait that we keep under control but that slips out when we least expect it.

So some questions to ponder for tonight: are you shy or get bouts of shyness when you’re in a social or profession setting, if so, how do you get over it? Or what is your hidden personality trait that sneaks up on you when you least expect it?

Also, how was everyone’s weekend? I cannot wait to get back to watching college football on my couch this weekend, yes, I’m already thinking that far ahead.

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08 October 2009

Patience is not my strongest virtue

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Food, Random

Trust me, it’s not, especially when it comes to food.

My latest “child-like” behavior is that when I am hungry, you MUST feed me. Otherwise…well I don’t think you want to see the fussy bitchiness that ensues. Seriously, you don’t.Really, you don’t. A few people have and it’s really, not pretty.

I accept that I am not a patient person and after arguing with my dad this week about a dinner location, I realized he is just as impatient as me (guess that runs in the family).

For example, when I want to eat, I don’t want to wait, I want to eat right away or within 20-30 minutes (like my dad). Reservations are my best friend because I know when I will be eating and I can plan accordingly, but a lot of places in Chicago don’t take reservations and that…well throws me off my game. Plus, I’ve been known to say, “an hour wait?  But I’m hungry NOWWWWW.”

The only time I’ve waited an hour for a table in Chicago was at Xoco with TC. Fortunately, that time went by pretty quickly, due to great company, but when the food arrived, talking completely stopped. I think I had a Homer Simpson moment where I stammered out, “can’t….talk….eating.”

A friend once waited two hours for a restaurant to seat her and I told her she was insane. Because I think that is bananas. No place has food that is that good.

Two hours for food? Can you even enjoy it at that point or are you angrily cutting through meat muttering “motherf*cker I should be enjoying this and now I’m hungry, fussy and tired!”

And you know, once the fussiness starts, there is no going back. You can’t stop the fussiness, you can only appease it and hope it listens and doesn’t ruin your entire night.

And I know what you’re thinking, “well you can go have a drink or appetizer ahead of time at a bar nearby.” True, but by then, shouldn’t I just keep eating at this new place? Ha ha, counterpoint.

Or if I know the restaurant doesn’t take reservations and is notorious for a wait, I go at odd times. Hey, who doesn’t love a steak dinner at….5 p.m. on a Saturday. Yeah….that’s just what I’m craving.

This trait of mine is actually a little embarrassing to admit, but hey, why not put it out there. No shame in being honest.

Sigh.

Anyhow, am I the only one here who gets fussy when they don’t eat or if they get delayed in having a meal? Or, what is the longest you’ve ever waited for a table at a restaurant and was it worth it?

Thank you everyone for the really sweet words and ideas around my dating rut situation. And for those who volunteered to go speed dating. I’m serious. I’m emailing you about going!

Edit (9:50 p.m.): We’re still looking into the comment issue but for now it’s been fixed so feel free to comment!! If you have any more trouble, just email me at: myeverydayadventures@gmail.com and I’ll make it work!

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06 October 2009

Dating rut with a side of uncertainity

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Relationships

First, I’m bored with my workout, now I’m in a dating rut. Must be one of those weeks.

So, I’m still on a dating “break” but ever since things with JohnBoy ended and I tried to reverse my boy karma with Dan, the thought of dating exhausts and intimates me a little bit. But one part of my mind isn’t giving up on the search.

Hello, where is Prince Charming? I’m here, chillin’….call me!!

Oh.my.god, I know, I need to wake up. But sometimes, it’s nice to daydream a bit about the Prince showing up :)

Relationships are work and require compromise, those themes were definitely reinforced when I hit the jackpot on Match early on. And now that I’m in an online desert of dating possibilities (minus the 24 and 50 year old guys that “wink” at me), a part of me is scared that my too early “peak” is it for me again for another….oh….10 some odd years.

That’s dumb, I know, my friends tell me that the right guy will come along again, but that fear that this rut will turn into a permanent curse, still lingers.

So I’m not giving up or giving in, I’m still doing the Match thing, seeing if anyone tickles my fancy and thinking about looking into other local speed dating evenings out just to give it a try (if you want to go with me let me know! Safety in numbers!) just to make sure that I don’t totally lose myself to a wallow of “wah wah no guys want to date me.”

I need to get back to grabbing dating by the balls (not literally) and say, “hey, I’m not giving up. But you should buy me dinner and a drink and maybe put out later.”

Oh and those two guys on Match who I was interested in and “no thanked” me before 10 a.m. on a Monday. Your loss.

So the question for tonight is, have you been in a dating rut before? And if so how did you get out of it? Or have you ever had that feeling after a break up that you’ll never date again?

Thank you everyone too for the exercise suggestions! I think I am going to pick up a class schedule and give it a try and the Shred is coming out. I’m up for a good, solid a** kicking.

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