I’ve mentioned before that I can get painfully shy in some social situations so I rely heavily on icebreakers to help kickstart conversation to ease my nervousness.
And I couple that icebreaker with my freakishly observant nature.
If you told me once (even while drunk) that your mother’s cousin’s sister’s niece twice removed was admitted to the hospital last month for routine tests, I will remember that and when I see you again, ask you how she’s doing. Seriously, I will.
I also strongly believe in being positive and giving positive feedback to people I know, am friends with and even manage at work. If you do a good job or if I like something, I will tell you.
So I recently started noticing that I’m big on complimenting people.
This includes complimenting hair style/color, makeup, purse, clothing, shoes. I do it because I want to and especially because I know it gives a nice little boost to someone’s day.
But while I compliment others, I don’t do the same to myself. I am so observant of others and pay attention, that I don’t do the same thing to me.
Maybe it’s because I’m my own worst critic, but instead of beating myself up, I need to give myself a break and not be so mean and rather, find something positive to call out so I don’t get too negative.
So from now on, I will continue to compliment people when I want to, but also do the same thing to me. If my hair is looking good that day, I’m going to say it out loud. If I get through a particularly though day without going insane, well, I’m going to tell myself that I did a great job. Don’t worry, this stuff can be my affirmation at home so you don’t see me in an elevator blurt out, “Jess you look awesome today, way to go!”
Things are already depressing enough on the news, why not cut yourself some slack and give credit where it’s due?
That’s my plan, a little experiment to see if that makes a daily difference.
What about you? Do you do something each day to give yourself a little boost of kick in the a**? Or are you also freakishly observant?
I hear ya, I’m always my own worst critique. When I do something I know I’m not supposed to or when I fail on something I kick myself so low :(
I need to do some of these tips of yours :)
i make it a goal to say something nice to someone every day, but i guess i should add in a goal to say something nice to myself too, haha.
I am freakishly observant for checking out girls’ outfits
Shoes, bags, leggings factor.. I’m there
I have to point them out to BF if they aren’t obvious!!!
I think both of those things are really good traits to have. And what a great idea to apply the compliment trait to yourself!
I used to be freakishly observant. I worry that my mind is going because I’m not so much any more. Although, I can pull a random trivia answer out of my a$$ almost any day of the week.
Are we twins? Seriously. Virgo sisters unite!
I forget everything. My grandmother tells me every week about various doctor’s stuff and I completely forget all the time. Not a good trait to have, that’s for sure.
I’m exactly like this! I’ll remember some random fact about a person, ask them and the person will be like, “I’m completely forgot about that, how did you remember?!”
and I love giving people random compliments because it really does make a HUGE difference in one’s day.
I am totally freakishly observant too!! And like you, I don’t compliment myself nearly enough. I like doing it for others, because it makes them feel good, and like you, I mean it. I want to share it. I want to know how they are doing.
Totally amused about the sister’s cousin’s hospital visit or whatever because its totally true. Its uncanny how you can do that. Its like a parlor trick!
Now repeat after me: “I am a good person with sassy shoes and people like me.” “I am a good person with sassy shoes and people like me.” “I am a good person with sassy shoes and people like me.” “I am a good person with sassy shoes and people like me.”
I’m like you in that I like to compliment people. I know how good it makes me feel when I get a compliment & so I try to share those happy feelings – especially if I love someone’s shoes or their hair looks good.
I’m also like you in that I don’t compliment myself as often as I could. What’s up with that? I’m going to take your idea & run with it. I mean, not go crazy complimenting myself, but just remind myself that I can be pretty awesome too.
Just remember: You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and doggonit, people LIKE you.
I’m critical of everyone. hahah. I kid. I think it’s a great idea to compliment yourself on *something* every day. Being introspective leads to personal growth,, that’s for sure.
Yes, I am also an observer/compliment-er. But maybe you’re on to something here. I, too, will compliment myself as well as others for the next week and see what happens.
I’m freakishly observant- but I do compliment myself and honestly, it’s made a huge difference in my self esteem! I used to be really bad, and one of my friends called me on it. I couldn’t name 20 things about me that I liked. She demanded (I love the teenage versions of my friends lol) that I start listing 5 things out loud every day because if my internal voice wasn’t strong enough I should skip it and use my real voice.
It felt really, really stupid but it helped an incredible amount! =) I love your experiment! Good luck! (And use your real voice if your internal monologue is too catty, it’s worth over riding it)
Just like Kim on “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” I’m kidding, though! It’s a really good practice – just the act of verbalizing something positive really makes you feel better, others feel better (when applicable) and tips things in a positive direction. Miss our little exchanges at the gym and beyond!
I’m a complimenter too. I always comment on clothes, hair, shoes, etc. It makes me feel good to make other people feel good ([plus other people are always so cute!)
*You’re right on. I hate embarrassing grammatical errors!
Although I guess that would fall under the category of being less hard on myself being that it’s quarter to two in the morning and all.
It’s fantastic that you remember to say that stuff in the moment. When I don’t see someone I’ll totally be thinking about their sick cat/marathon running Aunt Sally and then it slips my mind when I’m actually with the person. I’m terrible with compliments, too. But the thing is, I’m thinking them! While I’m talking to you in the back of my mind I’m thinking that I really like your earrings. I’m trying to get better about saying that stuff out loud. I know it makes me feel good when others do it for me.
And your right on about ditching the negative self talk. We could all be more than a little nicer to ourselves.
I’m naturally observant, too. I think that’s what draws me to write– I notice too much not to.
Yet I don’t expect other people to be the same way, somehow…
Ok, so we were JUST discussing something like this in one of my yoga teacher training classes over the weekend. One of the practices of yoga is ahimsa or non-violence. But it’s broad in that it encompasses not just the physical act of violence, but all kinds of intentions and harmful thoughts towards “all beings.” We always think of that as an outward expression, but what my instructor pointed out was that “YOU are a being too.” So, be as nice to yourself inwardly and outwardly as you are to others, and you’re on the right track.
Oh, and Jess? You look great today. :)
This is not quite related but remember the hot Peruvian guy at the Halloween party who loved your eyes and said so? Yeah, we should get you two in the same place again. I liked him. He knows food.
i’m the exact same as you. i have a memory like a steel trap & i’m very observant of people. i am also very inclusive. i hate feeling like someone is left out. this has garnered me the nickname “team mom” at work because i take care of everyone & look out for people.
in the same regard – i’m also like you in that i never compliment myself and get very embarrassed when someone does. i usually put other people first – i like making sure everyone is comfortable and will often adjust myself or behavior to make sure people are.
man – we are just really nice people! ;) (see – a compliment)!
I’m strangely conscious of myself in relation to other people… Like I will NEVER congregate at the base of the escalator because I hate when people do that and I can’t get by. I’ll be the one to move a group of people off to the side of the sidewalk, and the first one to make sure our group is quiet if we’re in a movie/library/house where someone is sleeping. That part is strange though because I’m often the loud one… Oops.
I’m a sociologist. I’m always observant
I always compliment myself (and reward myself, preferable with a chai or a beer, haha). I think its important to tell yourself when you rock something. And if nothing else, look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are awesome! (Because, really, you are!)
I am so NOT observant… I’m always the one who only remembers things when someone else mentions them, so I chime in like “Oh yeah!! How did it go with that tumor anyway?” Meanwhile, I’ve seen them like ten times since the proverbial tumor…
My boosts are more like giving myself time to relax. I don’t specifically complement myself though I like the idea. :)