Blame it on the cooler weather, constantly gray skies and darkness at 4 p.m., but right now, I’m burned out on dating.
I’ve been on Match for almost a year and starting in January, I’m taking a break. Sure, I was HOT right out of the gate but lately, the pickings have been slim, guys have been non-responsive and honestly, I’m not feeling like all the effort of online dating is totally worth it.
I’m not saying I’m closing the door on online dating but maybe if I step away and get through winter, the grass will be greener on the other side.
Why is dating harder in winter? Well let’s take a look:
- Season depression makes first dates look more like a Debbie Downer skit on SNL than a fun night out
- When it’s dark at 4 p.m., a nice dinner out isn’t as attractive as sweatpants and a cozy apartment
- It’s hard to look sexy when arriving on a date wearing a heavy coat, hat, gloves and snot is running out your nose (rawr!)
- Holidays and New Years pressure
Okay maybe there isn’t “pressure pressure” around the holidays but those are times for close friends, family and loved ones and, well just starting to date a guy then can make it uncomfortable.
Two years ago I was at a New Year’s party and a girl brought a Match.com guy as her date. She brought him along due to the inevitable holiday connotations and when he didn’t get a midnight kiss, they broke up in front of everyone. Awkward!
So what about you, do you find dating in the winter more difficult? Or do you find it just harder to be social in winter? Hibernation can be fun.
No pants!: I’m so glad I’m not the only one on the “leggings as pants” bandwagon. I understand some prefer to leave leggings back in their childhood memories (or nightmares) but being pantsless is liberating too. Hmm I don’t think I’ll wear pants on Friday, can’t wait!
Bookmarking now thanks, definitely consider a follow up post.
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I agree with Dan that men need to start approaching women more. I lived in SF for 4 years and men NEVER approached me. Ever. I think in absence of chivalry, a good matchmaker is worth their weight in gold.
In Chicago, professional matchmakers such as http://www.asoulmate.com are helping singles avoid the dating glut.
i’ve recently started dating online… and it is interesting. i went on a second date that was so-so thursday and a first date with potential today… but i agree it is harder to be motivated in the winter.
and yea, the whole never seeing daylight gets me. it is dark when i drive to and from work :(
good luck with the dating vacation!
I’ve been on a dating vacation for awhile. I just really needed a break after all of the bad luck I was having in that department.
I also think that it is harder to date in the winter time when it’s so darn cold out and all I want to do is go home and be warm!
Los Angeles winter can be a sexy look! Cold weather is like 50 degrees and all you need is a sexy little jacket and boots!
Guys really need to start approaching women more.
The irony of online dating is that it’s probably the slowest way to meet someone ever…even though you get to contact heaps of ‘dating prospects’ immediately.
The best way to meet someone still remains as: Man approaches woman in public situation (bar, mall, party, cafe), gets phone number and sets up a date.
Dan
http://www.themodernman.com/
i have a feeling that just because you posted this you’re going to meet some super awesome guy like tomorrow. it’s just how this stuff works. :)
Dude. I have no interest in leaving the house this time of year. Thank goodness for obligations or I’d never go outside. The worst is on the weekend when I haven’t left the house all day and then we go out somewhere. It’s so cold and awful that I wonder once again why I live north of the Mason-Dixon.
I actually celebrated my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend this past Sunday – so I would say dating in the winter isn’t IMPOSSIBLE or anything. And I don’t really know if it’s harder, because Erik is my first boyfriend.
But I can see how you would need a vacation. besides, they always say “when you stop looking…” so maybe you need to stop looking! Good luck either way!
So maybe that’s another reason people in Southern California are generally happier – we can date all year round because of the weather? Or maybe that should make me more depressed?
A dating vacation can be a good thing. Clears the head and lets you take a break, easing the pressure. I actually met and went out on my first date with my boyfriend in January. And yes, I actually had to “de-snow” when I got to the date.
A dating vacation might not be a bad thing. Think about all the single men who are going to sign up on Match after the new year!!!
“* When it’s dark at 4 p.m., a nice dinner out isn’t as attractive as sweatpants and a cozy apartment”
That is SO TRUE. And I’m with you on the leggings thing.
dating is HARD period. winter or no winter but the cuter outfits in the spring/summer help a little bit.
I am ALWAYS a fan of “no pants”.
;-)
Man, this makes me feel so much better. Just met a boy online and don’t entirely want to meet up with him yet–he likes to hibernate in the winter, and I am dealing with finals on top of the ickiness of the weather. Also it’s like negative 8 here (Minnesota). And though he’s a weatherman (no joke), he hates it when it goes below 15.
Anyway….this post made me feel a lot better about waiting to see him in person :)
I totally agree with you. Lately I’m actually content with not dating, because I’m choosing not to date; it’s not the other way around where I don’t have any options. And really, I’ve enjoyed being with friends and family this holiday season–they are way more important to me than some random guy.
I’m with you on a vacation at this time of year- it’s stressful as is, I can’t imagine starting dating someone and trying to juggle the newness with the demands of the season.
You’re very wise.
Never thought about it that way. But now that I do..the bf and I met on Match in a January. However, we didn’t actually go out until April! Thinking back, I didn’t have much energy to go out due to the cold weather and I bet that’s why we waited so long.
because i live a few hours east of you, it’s so typical that the only thing I do on a weeknight is work out and then go home.
because you are right, we only see the light of day on our drives into work.
Dating takes effort, no doubt about it. And like I said in my email to you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from dating. We all need to recharge from time to time.
I agree, dating in the winter kinda sucks. However, I do like when it’s a bit cooler out and I can layer up and look cute. I’m not a big fan of summer dates where it’s nearing 100degrees and all I want to do is take all my clothes off because I’m sweating in the sun.
:)
It’s not even cold here ( 72 degrees would be the coolest to feel in Jakarta ) but the festivities are the same. When it’s the season for spending time with closest people it’s just hard to bring a new person in the picture. I’d take a break too if I were you :)
I go into hibernation mode in winter, I tend to take breaks from dating during the winter too and focus more on summer. i definitely am more excited to date when its nice out and we can eat outside and I don’t have to show up looking like a marshmallow.
i totally hibernate for the winter, so i can’t even imagine trying to date. i think it’s definitely wise to take a break. plus, the holidays are such a busy time anyhow – you don’t want to worry about a boy!
Are you hibernating because you have a snuggie and you’re embarrassed to show it to a boy?
I find it harder to do anything in winter. Being cold is something that I generally dislike. In the winter I go to work, come home and if I have to run errands, generally I like to do them before getting home. Once I stepped into my cozy warm house is very hard to get me to leave. Hibernation is something I have down.
I find dating in general difficult! Haha but that’s just because I never meet anyone, and when I do have no game, plus I have officially given up on internet dating BS. Though all the internet dates I went on this year were in the winter. But I absolutely see your point. Winter is not a sexy look on anyone.