I can admit that I’m a double standard when it comes to acting passive aggressive. I hate when others do it, but I’m guilty of it too.
When I lived in Germany, people joked that I had a passive aggressive monkey that stayed caged until I let her out to play and wreck havoc. Then, it was hilarious, but as I’ve matured, being passive aggressive is a pain in the a**.
I used to be passive aggressive because I was mortally afraid of confrontation. I had trouble expressing how I felt when people upset me, so I would bottle it up and wait to unleash it. This means I may teach you a lesson by hiding cassette tapes or when I would fight with people, stuff would start coming out like, “six months ago you didn’t call me back and I was mad.”
I’m still not great with confrontation or harsh criticism but I like to think that I do better at talking to people about it and working through it so it’s “resolved.”
I’m also clear with people I’m friends and work with that I want them to be honest with me and tell me if I do something to piss them off. Believe it or not, I’m not a mindreader (if I was, I would be making SO MUCH more money). I don’t always know if I’ve done something that has upset someone or if they have misinterpreted something I said. The popularity of texting, IM and email makes it difficult to determine what’s sarcasm or just mean.
Today, I had a bad run in with the passive aggressive gorilla living in my parents house, which resulted in a big fight and me in tears all day (literally) and en route back to Chicago early. And when this person and I had this blowout I said, in a stunned voice, “why didn’t you tell me you were upset earlier?”
I got no response but realized through this awful situation that I need to be better about talking out my issues and problems with friends and family before it’s too late and it explodes in a tirade.
So what about you? Do you talk to friends or family when they’ve done something to upset you? Or do you have a tendency to be a little passive aggressive at times? Or do you hate when others are passive aggressive to you or others?
Movie review reminder: Just a reminder that my review of The Young Victoria is over on the review blog! My first one ever!