I am a hoarder.
Not a cat, food or junk hoarder, but a vacation time hoarder.
Last year, I hoarded 12 vacation days (of which I can only roll over 5) and took a LOT of time off in spring to use them. And you know what? I realized that I liked taking time off and enjoy taking a break from the office. And while relaxing at not checking work email, I swore I would be better about planning to use my vacation time next year.
Well that’s a big fat FAIL.
Why? Because I am getting right back into the situation I was in last year, hoarding vacation time. I have a larger number of vacation days that I have to use before July 1 (by when our vacation time needs to be used) and I have zero idea how I want to use it.
So why do I hoard this time, pushing myself to a near burn-out point before taking time off? Because as much as I want to go on vacation, I don’t know if I want to go alone.
I’m single and due to friends’ finances, they might not be able to go with me and I hate imposing on people if I were to go visit them. I know that entertaining and housing someone can be a big imposition. Plus, I’m not big on “staycations” because honestly, I’d rather just be at work than sitting around.
I’m comfortable being on my own and entertaining myself, but similar to my phobia of dining out alone, I don’t know if I want to travel on my own.
I’ve done it before, but that was years ago, and lately my attitudes toward it have changed a bit.
Would you go on a vacation alone? Or have you?
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I’m actually traveling alone for the first time this year, in a couple of weeks actually, going down to New Orleans for Halloween weekend, i’m seriously treating myself. I’ve booked a four star hotel, reserved several events, vampire balls, concerts, haunted history tours, haunted houses, all kinds of things to keep me busy. The way I figured it, i’ve bought a house this year by myself, i’ve been by myself for a long time, why not vacation alone? I see it as an adventure, it’s all about mindset. As long as I keep positive about it than I will have positives experiences.
I was just having this same conversation the other. I eat out, go to the movies and travel for work by myself all the time. I enjoy it. I relish in the fact that I don’t have to ask anyone what they want to or want to see. I just do what I please.
But right now I have 12 vacation days and no plans to use them. I would love to take a trip, somewhere warm with beach and copious amounts of alcohol sounds ideal. But I am not sure I want to do it on my own. I just haven’t decided where I’d want to go on my own. What I would do…would I be lonely?
I went to Hawaii alone, and it was a fabulous experience! I indulged on first class tickets coming home on a red eye because I only had to pay for one set–it was sublime.
Also, know that you’d never be an imposition in Cambridge!
i LOVE traveling alone. when i was in europe i traveled alone a bunch of times because people didn’t have the time or money and i wasn’t going to not travel.
you get to see what you want and go on your own schedule. i bring a ton of books and people watch like crazy. i recommend doing it!
i love going on vacations, and if that means going alone, so be it. i do like going with other people, but if it’s not in the cards, then enjoying it by myself, without any agendas or time constraints…man, it sounds like heaven.
I’ve traveled alone and had lots of fun. It encouraged me to get out and meet new people, etc. However I PREFER to vacation with a friend or with family.
You should go visiting!
Maybe try mini-vacations alone to see if you like traveling that way before commiting to a big trip?
Like you, I’m a vacation hoarder, but I tend to have a big trip in mind each year already planned out for the time. One year it was a cross country road trip with a friend celebrating her 30th birthday. Another year I traveled around Sicily with my mother for two weeks and found long-lost family in one town.
Since my usual travel friend keeps bailing out I sadly haven’t been anywhere in a few years. Other friends are even less reliable for making plans with.
So, I’ve gotten sick of waiting for other people to want to travel and am going it alone – my first solo vacation is taking me to a week at space camp.
Definitely do it, pick something contained, semi-local, or for a short amount of time – dip your toes, see if you like it. If the solo thing isn’t your bag, there are tours and travel groups that you can join and in the process of traveling make new friends who might be more accomodating to plans in the future.
I would totally vacation alone!! Do it!!!
I’ve gone on vacation alone but it was when I was living in Europe. I took a train down to the South of France, and stayed in a hostel near the beach. I did meet a few people along the way that I used for companionship when I needed it but in general I spent 4 days alone and it was fabulous. Maybe take a ‘stay-cation’ and use the money for traveling at a day or 2 at the spa or something. Or, you could always come visit me in good ol’ Iowa ;)
I understand about not wanting to travel alone… It’s hard matching schedules up with others to travel and utilize vacation time. I went to see a friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in years. She was living in Hawaii and it was so fun! I guess when staying with friends I’d use the rule: only stay with people that you wouldn’t mind having stay with you…
Girl,
PLEASE TRAVEL ALONE. Seriously, you will learn so much about yourself (and ditch the dining out phobia). It will seriously boost your confidence because you’ll be all “OMG, I got here all by myself and didn’t get lost and saw so much so that pretty much makes me AMAZING” (or maybe I just think like that haha).
Let’s have story time:
I took a summer job in Spain for a month and I wanted to have friends meet me there to travel afterwards. So, a great friend from college agreed to come but she wanted to bring two friends. I was scared to travel alone so I agreed to the other girls coming just so my friend would come. Well, let’s just say the other girls ended up SUCKING (wanted to sit around and not go see or do anything) so I did everything by myself. It was way better than dealing with their drama and they were only good for splitting the hotel costs.
So, I have decided that traveling alone is the best option…unless you really really really know how someone is as a traveler.
I’m totally afraid to do things alone, but I’ve found that when I do, and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be, I’m really proud of myself after! I don’t know if I’d go on vacation alone, just because I like experiencing new places with other people, but I’ve eaten alone. Next up, I’m going to try to see a movie (on an off time when no one will be in the theater anyway.) :)
i would totally vacation alone. i feel like sometimes i do when i got to conferences because i’m always the only one from my job and matt isn’t with me. but then again that’s not totally vacation. anyhoozits i vote on a trip to LA or San Diego or somewhere in my state, you know, because that’d be awesome, haha.
personally, vacationing alones sounds scary because my brain immediately goes to bad things that could happen. However, I would totally vacation alone in a nearby city – like, up to 4 hours away. I’m a wimp.
I WOULD TOTALLY VACATION ALONE. I’m a big proponent of doing things solo, I think it stems from being an only child. I backpacked Europe by myself when I was 20 and it was the best experience of my life. Even just earlier this month when I spent the days wandering New Orleans by myself while Joe was in his seminar was so fulfilling. The thing about vacationing alone is that you’re doing EXACTLY what YOU want to do. No compromising, no awkward “Where should we go to dinner?” questions, no being pissed at someone if they make you late for the airport. Just you.
Cities I think would make excellent solo trips: San Francisco, Seattle, New Orleans, Myrtle Beach (what up seafood, sun, sand, magazines, martinis, and no one to judge you in your swimsuit!)
I’ve been experiencing that recently. Before I would do quite a few things on my own (going to concerts or films for example) but ever since I’ve been dating that hasn’t been happening that much anymore. But I decided if I don’t have anyone to go to a concert with for example, why would I let such a good thing pass by? I know it’s a little different when it comes to a holiday, but why not? You don’t have to take anyone else into consideration, which can be a big plus. And it’s easier to talk to other people when you’re on your own.
I’m always travelling on my own but there are always friends on the other side – I don’t mind it, and I enjoy the independence of it. But I’ve always wanted to go to Canada on my own – bearing in mind I like in the UK, so it’s preeetty far away. I would just love to be able to walk around and take in what I want to see without organising other people. Having said that, dining out alone would be a bummer, and I might get a bit lonely. So… I’m undecided haha!
I would totally go on vacation alone. I’m doing it for the first time this year. The only thing is: I’m visiting friends. I think that’s always an option…going to a city you’ve never been to to visit people you love. If you’d like to come to Pittsburgh, you have a place to stay!
I don’t think i would mind going on vacation alone. It gives yourself a chance to really have a relaxing time with no distractions.
I’ve never really been on vacation alone. I mean, I travel a lot by myself, but am always headed to a destination that involves family or friends. That said, I could see spending five days on a beach by myself at one of those all-inclusive places. Snorkeling, reading, swimming, sunning, lounging in my hotel room and eating sound pretty good to me!
You know, you could also go somewhere where your friends live, but stay at a cheap hotel and rent a car or something along those lines. Then you could still see them without actually staying with them.
I’m sort of a big baby, but I don’t think I would like to go on a vacation all by myself. I like my quiet time, but would much rather be somewhere with another person. But I’m sure you would meet awesome people if you did go alone because it would force you to talk to new people.
Maybe you can just take the days off to make some 3- or 4-day weekends so you can checkout places in Chicago that you’ve never been to.
I wish I had more time off…
Do it! Travel alone!
Then again, if you need a travel buddy…
I hear you on the vacation stockpile. I’ve taken off four days in the past month because I’m at my max. Once the wedding/honeymoon comes I won’t have that problem…but for now I’ve had to resort to taking random days off or I’ll lose them. I mostly watch bad daytime TV and work on wedding stuff. It’s thrilling. ;)
I would totally vacation alone, especially for a beach vacay. I love nothing more than lounging, reading trashy celeb mags, and poolside service. I also really like to be on my own schedule and not worry about what someone else wants to do! I would go to the spa, read, get room service, shop, etc. I never thought I would like traveling alone (I’m one of those paranoid girls who thinks there is some pervert lurking around every corner waiting to abduct me) but after doing it for work a few times I realized I didn’t mind it at all.
I think vacationing alone could actually be a lot of fun. If you don’t want to be *really* alone, you could always do a tour geared toward singles (Contiki is fairly well known). Is there an area of the country where you have several friends within a couple hours of each other? Maybe you could do a little road trip to see each of them. Meet up for dinner after work, and explore their town/city solo during the day. If you’re only in one place for a day or two at a time, you won’t get bored or lonely. Have you ever wanted to take some kind of lesson – SCUBA, tennis, golf, painting, pottery, cooking, etc? You could find a resort or tour and center your trip around learning something new. Good luck!
I would go on vacation to visit someone. But I just don’t think I could go somewhere alone. Because I would feel unproductive without someone to keep me busy and entertained!
I’ve traveled alone before. A year ago, I went to Seattle for the weekend by myself. I had originally planned to go with a friend, but she bailed on me. So I had the option of wasting my non-refundable flight, or going. About 3 days before my flight was supposed to leave, I booked a hotel on priceline, made a spreadsheet of things to do, and decided I was going. I ended up not feeling lonely at all the entire time, and met a really nice couple that I ended up drinking and bowling with. So I think it’s definitely possible if you want to go somewhere for a long weekend.
The second idea I would have for you, is to maybe start taking half days off here and there. That way you can get off work early and go to happy hour with a friend or do something you normally wouldn’t have time for.
Whatever you decide, you should definitely use your days off before they expire!
I completely understand your reluctance to go on vacation alone. I just feel silly wandering around by myself and I never know what to do in the evenings. I don’t even like going to work conferences by myself because I don’t know what to do when I’m not in a session!
So, while I can see the appeal for some people of going it alone, I’d much rather go with at least one good friend or close relative.
When I was single, I traveled to visit friends all the time. I don’t think staying with friends necessarily means being a huge imposition on them. I used to visit friends for a week at a time. I’d rent a car, so I wouldn’t have to rely on them. I’d make sure they were clear I didn’t expect them to take time off from work for me. And I’d entertain myself during the day while they were at work. Or I’d visit places where I could visit a number of different friends (spending a couple days with each). It’s definitely possible (and fun) so long as you take on responsibility for entertaining yourself (and your friends know that ahead of time).
you could always just come visit me and allison in cleveland!
I agree with other comments that vacationing alone is all about your attitude. Pick a place that feel relaxing to you, and do things that you enjoy. Reading in the sun, going to a spa, touring a city you have never been to before. They can all be a great time if you decide they will be. I hope that you find a way to use your time, and get the rest you need. You deserve to take some time for yourself.
I think vacationing alone is all about attitude, if you have a positive attitude about it then it will be a positive experience. If you go into it thinking you don’t want to be alone or you’d rather be vacationing with someone, then it probably won’t be fun. Just do your research on where you are going and have your time planned out with fun stuff to do, don’t go and try to figure it out along the way, chances are that will be more stressful.
I used to have the eating alone phobia also, but I eat alone now with no problem. Eating alone on vacation is easier because I tell myself I will never see these people again, so they can judge me all they want. Reality is, people don’t pay nearly as much attention to us as we think they do.
I would love to go on vacation alone. But I can’t justify using my measly vacay days to go somewhere without my husband. Mabye one day.
I’m actually questioning this myself, since I have spring break next week and my original plans fell through. The only problem is, I got no money myself to spend on a hotel for a week…so I’ve compromised, staying with a friend in Chicago (of all places! :)) but she’s working a lot, so a lot of time alone. And I have a roommate right now, so I can’t think of anything better than TIME ALONE YAY!!!
I’m not going to want to leave.
you’re like me!!! i still have 12 vacation days from last year (that i need to use before july) plus my 23 from this year. we could totally vacation hoard together. i think a vacation for one is a great idea for a few reasons: you’d probably spend less money because you wouldn’t be talked into things by another person, you can do whatever you want on your own time, you don’t have to coordinate schedules with another person & most importantly – you can go where you want! i think a vacation for 1 sounds fab.
I have 10 days vacation still left for this year and I haven’t touched booked a single one either as vacation or even on the calendar. Part of it is because like you, my friends are either married or can’t afford it. Part of it is because my work place makes it tough for me to get away (or I put that pressure on myself) and the other part is I’m not sure how much fun traveling alone would be. I mean, flying alone is fun, going to visit people is fun but I’d really love a week long trip to the Florida Beach. Or somewhere else equally tropical with a ton of books stacked next to me and an endless supply of iced girlie drinks :) So for now, the dates go unclaimed and hopefully I find a reason to use them.
oh man, i wish i had the balls to vacation alone. i’m pretty wimpy, so i’d be scared of getting lost and/or kidnapped or something else silly. i fell in love w/ london when i was in high school and would love to go back and just explore with out a huge group….go where i want, when i want. there is so much to see and do!
I have never vacationed alone and that’s definitely not something I’d want to do since I’m a big fan of big groups. Is there a family relative you could go somewhere with? Beg if you have to!! :)
I wandered around Ireland on my own for about a week when I was 18, and honestly I loved it. But I think it’s partially because I was so far away from all of my friends and family already–it was a definite growth experience.
And for what it’s worth, I love, love, love having friends visit me. I don’t think it’s an imposition at all!
I have never taken a big one or two week vacation alone but I have definitely done long weekends alone. Its so relaxing to go where I want, when I want, do what I want. I always have books and its just so peaceful. One of my favorite places to go alone is into the mountains.
I think you should come to Nashville for a visit!
And, if I had to travel somewhere alone, I’d go to NYC or another big, bustling city. I think it would be fascinating to experience that by myself. (And I’ve done that some, just not the entire trip solo.)
Well, I’ve never vacationed alone – but I felt like every day was vacation when I was single!! Does that count? LOL
Stop hoarding your vacay time and come and see me in FL!!!!!
xoxo
I vacation alone—at least for a night—almost every year. And I love every minute. It’s seriously one of the most relaxing experiences ever, because you’re literally under NO pressure to do anything for anyone. I love it.
California is waiting!
I am with Geggie on this one. I spent a few days in London alone a few years ago and a few days in Monterrey, CA alone last summer. Monterrey was the first place I was brave enough to take myself out for a fancy meal alone. I highly recommend it. It’s an experience like no other and you will learn so much about yourself. Plus, it forces you to introduce yourself to people you may have otherwise never noticed. :)
Have fun!
I think I’d be nervous taking a vacay alone, but it’s something I might want to try. I’d probably be more in favor of something low-key and resort-focused where I’m really only responsible for getting myself from the airport to the hotel. Much more and I’d probably get lost and never return!
I really love traveling alone. Best case scenario is when I know someone there I’d like to meet for dinner one night but don’t feel obligated to do more than that. I’ll even build days onto trips with J to have some me time exploring. Check out some deals and maybe build in a spa day or (if it were me) a cooking class. Lots of cool smaller cities to check out or maybe Toronto- so close but supposed to be awesome.Your vacay flexibility means you can travel outside of peak days. I say do it…Make a deal to get outta town (incl home in WI) and find some fun!
Oh, as far as dining out alone, I definitely had that happen. But you’d be surprised how many other travelers you meet along the way that you can hang out with and eat with them!
I went to England by myself for a week. I stayed in a hostel in Bath for 4 days and then at a friend’s for another 4 days (who was working full-time so I only saw her in the evening and for a Saturday). It was the best week of my life.
I’ve never vacationed alone. I would be fine if I did to say lay out by a pool or beach all day. But I don’t think I could vacation alone and go out alone at night. I need people for the night life.
I’m a fan of vacay alone! I’ve done it a few times and love it.
I’m 36 and beginning in my late 20s/early 30s all my girlfriends were getting married, having kids, didn’t have the finances, etc. to travel with me and decided not to let that hold me back.
I’ve been to San Fransisco alone, NYC, Chicago (before I lived here), and Amsterdam & Belgium for 2 weeks alone. I loved it! I read, eat where/when I want to. Sleep when I want to and meet some cool people. Honestly, vacays alone have been my most relaxing trips where I’m truly well rested. I highly recommend it!