Or maybe my grandpa is the only one left. He is a perfect gentleman.
I like to think of myself as a modern, Mary Tyler Moore-like lady, but deep down I’m still a little old fashioned.
So for me, I love when a guy is a gentleman. But maybe that trend is a little dead? Maybe it’s just in a coma? Or has amnesia while sleeping with my long-lost sister who was separated from me at birth?
A gentleman pulls out your chair, holds the door open, pulls your chair back and helps you with your jacket. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Mad Men lately.
What’s funny though is although I like that kind of guy, I am very uncomfortable around him. Mostly because I’m not used to guys treating me nicely.
I’ve mentioned how the ex Peter never used to pay for dates because he didn’t want to “insult my modern ways.” INSULT ME like you’re Mel Gibson calling my voicemail.
Anyhow, I got to thinking about this after seeing a clip on Yahoo where a girl was hit by a foul ball at an Astros game and her boyfriend ran away from it rather than help or stand in the way. She got nailed in the elbow and then he came back, put his arm around her AND KEPT THE BALL FOR HIMSELF.
What the f*ck?
Now I’ll be honest, he didn’t exactly scream “winner” (more like Jersey Shore in training) and she reacted the same way I do when balls fly at my face…look horrified and curl up to hide.
But to run away like a little b*tch and let your woman get hit and then take it from her while offering only a modicum of support? Lame-o. But her prissy reenactments were hilarious.
What is wrong with this guy?
Now the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to try and shield her or pull her out of the way as well. I’m not saying he should be a martyr for her but really, he didn’t even think to grab her and run? If I was with this guy, I would have taken that ball back and thrown it at his head, after taking the car keys to leave and some cash for a beer.
This isn’t the official sign that gentlemanly behavior is dead, but it makes me question how many are out there.
You can see the full video here. Winner.
What would you do if your boyfriend was this guy? Or do you know any guys who are still gentleman to you?
I have a friend named Aaron that is actually trying to bring the idea of a gentleman back to society! You can see his webisodes on Man About Town TV. I believe they are on youtube and you can also just google it. But seriously, he totally talks about this kind of stuff!
It is so funny you made a point of this! I do think he was a total tool for doing that! I told Adam that I’d kill him. I’d like to think Adam would save me though….. He is pretty awesome at being a gentleman most of the time though!
I’m going to brag a little…my boyfriend is a perfect gentlemen. Seriously. He opens door, holds my chair, takes my bags (even my purse, but I usually decline that one), rubs my feet, brings me tea. Anything and everything. It’s been two years now. He still does all of this.
They exist. There are not as many, but if we raise our boys to be courteous and gentlemen while still respecting women then our daughters will have some to look forward to. We also have to remind ourselves that just because a man does these things does not mean that he feels we can’t. It may (and often) is because they feel it is a nice thing to do.
Also, that asshat at the baseball game. I would have thrown the ball at him, kicked him and left. Get that on video.
I think there’s a double standard for guys when it comes to dating. Girls want guys to be a gentleman, but they also want a bad boy/rebel. What’s a guy suppose to do?
um EW to that dude’s behavior. Thankfully, the Guy That I’ve Been Seeing is totally chivalrous. On every date, so far, he’s opened the car door for me and any other door. so there are some gentleman out there, they’re just few and far between, unfortunately.
i would have been so pissed if that was my boyfriend. i also would have taken the ball from him, i mean hell if it hit me i’d want it.
If that guy was my boyfriend, I wouldn’t have to do anything except make sure every single friend and family member of mine saw that video. My guess is they’d take care of things for me. ;)
BTW, I totally thought of the movie Clueless when you wrote that line about balls flying at your face. Heh.
They’re out there! I can honestly say that all the guys I’ve dated have been those guys. One guy I dated opened my car door for me for 4 years! I definitely didn’t insist; he did it b/c he wanted to be kind.
I deal with the same struggle though…I LOVE my independence, but I’m traditional when it comes to courtship. See? I said courtship. Hahaha.
I definitely don’t want guys fumbling over me, but kindness is something I’ve always expected.
And if I was that girl I would’ve been trying to catch the ball! :)
Chilvary. I think it still exists… kind of. Just not enough or consistently. My dad and brother hold doors, pull out chairs and etc for the women in their life which is just fabulous. I’ve dated a few guys who did the chilvarous thing but like you, it always makes me slightly uncomfortable because I’m so not used to it.
I can’t believe that guy didn’t think to shield his gal or pull her out of the way. And that it was caught on video. Bad.
Maybe we need to go back to the 1950s?
I saw that story and couldn’t believe it! Well, scratch that…I totally believe it because so many guys are THAT GUY. At least my BF and I have an arrangement at baseball games that one side is mine to catch and the other is his.
As for gentlemen I hate to get all schmoopy but I definitely have one of those guys. He opens doors for me, actually got mad at me when we started dating because I automatically went for the door first. But he still walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street ALWAYS because “that’s what I was taught to do”.
I know, he’s a keeper.
That guy is clearly a d-bag. That goes past chivalry and is more like, “don’t let your friend/relative/anyone get injured.” That being said I’m normally in the chivalry-is-dead camp. I actually hate when people pull out my chairs for me because I always need to readjust it anyway. Opening doors is fine, but that’s just common courtesy – I hold doors for people too. And as far as dates, I always offer to pay my half and unlike many women I’ve talked to, actually mean it (some women offer to be nice but write the guy off if he actually takes her up on it). I am a strong, independent woman and I don’t need no man to take care of me! Booyah. Also, re: Mega’s comment – I totally would also assume a guy was trying to hit on me if he was being overly chivalrous. Esp in NYC. I’ve heard people tend to be a little nicer in the midwest. =)
He would not be for me. I would have hit him with the baseball.
I am sad that I did not get to meet you at Blogher. I was even at the Aiming Low party.
When I went to a Cubs game with my brother and we sat in foul ball territory he promised to catch any foul balls that came flying at us. Whether that’s because he’s a gentleman or he just really loves baseball I’m not sure :-)
Gentleman are out there, but sometimes I think we send them mixed messages. We want to be taken care of sometimes but other times we want to be strong, independent women. They’re probably confused!
I just really don’t like that he kept the ball…i really hope she just didn’t want it. I also think it’s actually worse once you know he told her he wouldn’t let her get hit, that he’d catch the ball if one came their way.
One the note of chivalry, I once had a date get mad at me because I didn’t let him open the door for me. He made a really big deal of it and I was just like, look, I got to the door first and opened it–my arms aren’t broken. He also made comments like “i’m not a racist but…” said something about Jewish people and on our second date used a not-so-nice word for gay people that is british slang for a cigarette and couldn’t understand why maybe I didn’t like that. So, maybe chivalry is overrated.
I thought this was really funny and the hype surrounding it is quite silly! I don’t think he acted inappropriately. I hardly doubt he thought at all before reacting – I’m not sure chivalry includes guidelines about how to react when a baseball is flying at your face. After all, knights did not play baseball.
Similarly, she could have moved. Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t move when things are coming at you. Darwinism? (KIDDING!)
He should certainly give her the ball, but who knows if she even wants it. Heck, Chris Johnson is good but he’s no all-star.
I love me some chivalry – and I’ll gladly take it most of the time – but I just don’t see the relationship between true chivalry and a foul ball.
Personally, it’s hard for me to believe this is making national headlines. If that girl was really all that concerned about getting hit, there were plenty of other open seats in that stadium where they could’ve moved (it is the Astros, after all). She knew the risks and she stayed in her seat. Quit whining that your boyfriend didn’t save you. Though, I will say he should give her the ball (if she wants it).
this couple was on the today show and I missed their interview.
Although, I will say, leave it to the reporter to ask her “will this be foreshadowing into the future?”
I usually try to be chilvalrous with the women in my life, whether it be one that has my interest, a friend, or my mom. The reaction I usually get is “what do you want from me and why are you doing this”. I’m just trying to be nice! And to be honest, it makes me do it less.
haha Aussie boys are SO not gentlemen. Seriously, it’s like chivalry is dead here or something.
That being said, I tend to think gentlemanliness squicks me out a little bit. But maybe it’s because it often goes hand in hand with romance which generally just makes me giggle and/or feel uncomfortable (unless I have been dating someone a long time -aka not the 1st through 10th date).
I’m sure there are gentlemen still out there, but it’s hard to find these days? I mean, it looks like people enjoy watching stupid kids on Jersey Shore, I feel like our moral or standards are getting lower too.
I still remember when I stopped right where the water puddle because I couldn’t walk through it with my high heels, my ex swept off my feet and carried me through. I couldn’t believe how gentleman he was… Or my husband who carried me on his back when my foot got hurt while we’re at the concert. It’s little things that count… But definitely, the GF in the clip should consider how lame her BF is and toss him.
Holy crap! That is ridiculous!
That is not a man of any kind.
My grandpa is that sort of chivalrous, gentlemanly guy. My mom once said that she married my dad because she thought he’d grow up to be like his father. (Unfortunately, he didn’t.) Luckily for me, my husband has that gentlemanly je ne sais quoi just like my grandpa. There ARE guys our age who have it, but I don’t know where they’re all hiding.
I’d throw the baseball right at Big Man’s head if he pulled some bitch move like that.
Sometimes my boyfriend will surprise me and do little gentleman-y things like open the door, pull out my chair etc. But he doesn’t do it all the time. It’s kind of cute and sweet when he does though :)
I’m lucky as my husband is a gentleman. I remember being very surprised the first time he helped me put on my coat, when leaving a restaurant. Hubby was Greek in his college days too. So yes frat boys can grow up to be gentleman and yes, they are out there!
I honestly don’t know of any guys who are jerks like this. Maybe it’s just the MN Nice coming out- but no matter if I know the guy or not- always a gentleman in 99% of instances. There is the 1% out there though, like my lame neighbor dude who thinks he’s God’s Gift who can’t bother to even say hello in passing because, afterall, he’s all that and drives a souped up Escalade. Total Douche. His friend follows him around like a puppy. For real. But other than that- I haven’t ran into any jerks lately. There’s still hope! haha
I would be pissed if that was by boyfriend. He does sort of seem Jersey Shore in training. I’m not a fan. I like to be modern as well, but I won’t lie, deep down I’m a bit old fashioned too.