26 August 2010

Case of the uglies

By: Jessica B.

Tonight on the bus home, a woman stood to exit at the stop and when the driver hit the breaks, she took an bad fall. Like fell flat on her face.

People helped her up but I felt bad and heard the guy next to me whisper to someone on the phone, “god this woman just took an ugly fall.”

So I got to thinking about what I call, “the uglies.”

Ugly fall – See example above. When a person bites it hard on the concrete.

Ugly cry – Full out sob fest, accompanied by red eyes and nose, snot running down your face and shaking from the sobs that wrack your body. Examples: Terms of Endearment, Up and Time Traveler’s Wife

Ugly eat – When the simple task of eating becomes more of an episode of Animal Planet, causing you to own it and not hide in shame while eating in public, or causing you to hide at your desk to enjoy your ugly eat in private. Examples: Ribs, Cheetos and cupcakes

Ugly shame – Your single or “home alone” activity that you embrace but do behind closed doors, blinds or rooms. Examples: eating food that falls on your boob or cleavage

I am guilty of ALL OF THESE, sometimes doing more than one in a single day.

The only one I’m actually embarrassed by is the ugly fall. I am very self conscious in public (sometimes) and I hate, more than anything, when I fall or trip over my feet in public. I feel people staring at me, laughing and pointing, or thinking “that poor girl” as they help me off the floor of the bus.

Maybe it’s because I like being independent and not relying on someone to help me all the time, so the thought of someone having to help me up is frustrating and socially crushing, but then again, when I bite it and do it well, someone better help me up.

What about you? Which case of the uglies do you find happens the most?

Review blog update: Hey! I’m updating this again after way too long of a delay. Today I’m talking about a facial cleanser/make up remover I love from Neutrogena.


  1. Grace says:

    Falling in public is hard. Especially on the bus. I once stepped on a woman in my heels when the bus jerked unexpectedly. I felt awful. I worry about that more than me falling.

  2. nic says:

    Ha! Ugly eat….I still crack up when I think of your “When Animals Attack” movie popcorn story.

    Also, I was my own case of the ugly cry this weekend when I collapsed in a pile of actual freaking sobs on my couch while watching the end of The Time Traveler’s Wife on TV. And I don’t even like Eric Bana!

  3. Ray says:

    Dude, we smoked some baby back ribs at my friends house Sat. Ugly Eat? Check.

  4. Cristina says:

    I am notoriously guilty of the ugly cry. It’s one of my biggest shames in life.

  5. Stephanie says:

    I definitely eat crumbs off of my boobs…why waste good food?


  6. stephanie says:

    I’m definitely guilty of the ugly cry. I’m not so good at any pretty cry though. Some people can cry pretty. Me=not so much. I’ve got to learn to cry all cute like the movie stars do!

  7. roxy says:

    Yep, definitely guilty of all of these — mostly ugly eating.

  8. Arielle says:

    I definitely ugly ate with a friend yesterday. We had wings and frankly, you can’t eat wings any other way. Also, anytime I wear a lowcut or even mediumcut shirt, stuff falls in the boobs (notice I said IN, not on). I still eat it. Publicly. I have no shame.

  9. Y’know, I’m all about embracing the uglies. I tend to laugh at myself when people notice me doing something ugly. Ugly trip across the sidewalk? I crack up. Ugly cry at a movie? I laugh through the snot and tears. Ugly bite of pizza with the never ending cheese? Hilarious! Seriously. We’re all human. No one is perfect. You might as well embrace your imperfections.

  10. A Super Girl says:

    Eating food out of your cleavage…totally guilty of that!

    Also add to the ugly cry list: Marley & Me — I ugly cried all over that shiz.

  11. oh my gosh, i am totally the type to trip over myself, up stairs, etc. all the time. recently at work i got up and my foot had fallen asleep and i totally wiped out. awesome. i’ve had enough embarrassing things happen (like the time the entire cheesecake factory saw my underwear because my skirt was tucked into my underwear and no one felt the need to tell me) that i now just kind of roll with it :)

  12. Jaime says:

    Ya the uglies happen at times…. lol. We are all guilty of it, I’m sure!

    Enjoy your weekend!

  13. Paula says:

    Ugly crying = my speciality. For sure. I go blotchy in the weirdest of places . . . like around my eyebrows.

  14. eemusings says:

    The falls, for sure! One of my trusty pairs of work shoes has worn really smooth on the soles, so despite their flatness, I have been known to plunge to my demise more often than I’d like.

    And as for the ugly eating…I believe in the 10sec rule…

  15. I did an ugly eat tonight when I was trying to get the skin off of a mango. Most of the fruit wasn’t coming off, so I just held my face over it and chewed it off. Juice all over my cheeks, dripping down my chin and arms… but it was sooooo worth it.

    I pick food out of my boobs and eat it all the time. I figure I know what else has been down there, so it’s still good. I think I end up with boob food at every meal. Maybe I need a bib?

  16. I have to confess – I’m all about the “ugly cry” right now. It’s not pretty – and I don’t care. Sometimes it’s just nice to get it all out!!!

  17. I’ve fallen in public so many times, it barely even phases me any more. That in of itself is kind of embarrassing…

  18. lbluca77 says:

    I do the ugly eating all the time when home alone. Not just eating the food off my boob but also off my shirt or even pants. I never really thought about others doing this as well. Glad to know I am not the only one.