25 August 2011

Just say yes

By: Jessica B.

While hiking in Seattle last week, I had a thought, that didn’t revolve around food or cocktails (for once).

It started with thinking about a really bad rom com with Jim Carrey that came out a few years ago called Yes Man. Quick summary, it’s about a guy (Jim Carrey) who decides to open himself up to new possibilities by saying “yes” to everything. Really, you don’t need to rent it, it wasn’t that good.

But the general idea stuck with me.

I consider myself to be a pretty easy going person but in order to expand my dating horizons, I need to take a “just say yes,” approach.

That means, if a guy asks me out, I’m going to say yes. I’m not going to second doubt it or look for reasons to say no. If he’s nice, seems sincere and I’m interested, I’ll say yes. No more “screening” phone calls to see if I’m “meet in public worthy.” I’m horribly awkward on the phone so that’s working against me already. Instead of turning down something that could be, well, something, I’m going to just give it a try.

So that’s my plan. Just say yes. Whether it’s to coffee, drinks or even just a walk to talk more. What do I have to lose?

And I need to be better about telling guys I’m interested in that I want to get together too. Yes, the archaic woman in me is still hesitant to do so, but now, I need to grow my own pair of dating balls and just go for it. Fortunately, I have my patented JB-way to deal with rejection without breaking a sweat. I mean, their loss right?

Why this sudden go-getter attitude with guys if I’m content solo? To be honest, this is the first time I feel ready to receive someone’s attention and affection.Two years ago, I met a nice guy who was genuinely interested in me, and I pushed him away because I couldn’t “hear” his comments that I was beautiful and fun to be with. I wasn’t ready then, but I feel ready now.

Of course, I’m not 100% convinced there is a Mr. Right out there for me, but while I keep living my solo life, if I find someone I’m interested in (and who feels the same), I’m ready to make room and time for him too.

Clear eyes, full hearts…CAN’T LOSE.

Are you a “just say yes” kind of person toward something in your life?


  1. love the fnl reference! i think that just may be a great life motto?

    good luck with your saying yes

  2. Elizabeth says:

    That’s exciting! It sounds like you’re in just the right place to say yes–it’s such a brave, awesome thing to do!

  3. steph anne says:

    That’s awesome because I don’t think I could do that! I have no doubt that Mr. Right will come along soon! :)

  4. It sounds like you’re in a really great place right now. I think it’s a great attitude, and I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

  5. You are really kickass, my dear. Just so you know.

  6. Oh man… I’ve done the whole “say yes” thing when it comes to online dating and it’s always quite the adventure. It’s good to branch out, but I ended up dating this guy for a year because I thought “why not? step outside my “type”.” Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. But it’s always an adventure. I can’t wait to hear about these dates!

  7. katelin says:

    like i said before, go get it girl! woo wee. and i seriously like the idea of saying yes to more things in general, it’s a great message we all should remind ourselves of.

  8. Erin says:

    I’m trying to say yes to trying new things in general. I tend to get stuck in a rut so saying yes when people invite me to try something new can be quite the experience!

  9. YAY! get it girl.

    i was in your situation for many years and i know it was because i wasn’t ready – but when you know you know.

    i can’t wait for you to say yes.

    and then, say yes to the dress.

    (too fast?)

  10. Arielle says:

    Love the FNL reference! Also, this is a wonderful outlook to have. I should do this. Not that anyone asks me out ever HAHA.

  11. Caryn says:

    Good for you!! doesn’t it feel liberating to say yes?! I think this applies to more than just dating too. There is a great book out there, (with a horrendous title) called Marrying Mr. Good Enough, and it talks about this. You should check it out. It helped me refocus on what is important. yes, again. the title is the worst.

    And Natalie’s comment about Coach Taylor… from FNL?? he is adorable!! little crush on that man.

  12. Jenn says:

    It excites me to see this :)

  13. mandy says:

    Hooray for keeping an open mind. I totally agree that you have nothing to lose. Saying yes is hard, but its important to remain open to possibilities. I never in a million years thought that I would be moving to Georgia, but here I am packing and looking for a place to live. But being open to new possibilities allowed me to take the chance and say yes. You never know what can happen.

  14. Kez says:

    Good for you! When I met my (now) husband he was with someone else. They broke up and for lots of reasons I thought he should be out of bounds…but something inside me just KNEW he was the one and I had to ignore my fears and take the plunge.
    All these years later we’re now expecting a baby and we have a good life :)

    Although, the “mum” in me wants to tell you that if you genuinely get a serial killer vibe, please be careful lol xo

  15. Angela says:

    My friend Heather took on this philosophy last year. So when a friend of hers said she should visit Asia, Heather said “Yes” to it and went. Her pictures from Bangkok, Bali, the Gili Islands, Siem Reap, Kep, Kampot, and Phnom Penh are swoon-worthy.

  16. Julianne says:

    YES! I need to adopt this too and sign up for online dating again.

    Have you read Meeting Your Half-Orange? I highly recommend the book and it seems like it would really resonate with you right now. She has a blog too.


    You may just meet your own Coach Taylor with this approach ;0). Except the married part, of course :)

  18. A-MEN to this post, Jessica, AMEN. I’m trying to adopt this attitude more now towards dating as well and the fact that it scares me bit lets me know that I’m doing what I need to be doing.