22 September 2011

Online dating tips for guys

By: Jessica B.

It’s online dating season in Chicago and while teasing a colleague about it the other night, I found myself rattling off several “tips” for him if/when (more like when) he joins. It’s inevitable.

I’m not saying I’ve been “around the online dating block” but I kind of have. In the last few years, I’ve tried Ok Cupid, eHarmony and Match and while they are different, I’ve found a few common tips I would like to tell guys before they sign up, from a female perspective.

  • Your profile photo should be of your FACE. Not your pecks, abs, crevice to your groin, apartment, pets or places you’ve visited (without you in them). Also, posting your wedding photos with the bride cut out shows you can commit but is also a little tacky. Seriously. But if your apartment is for rent, please note that in your profile
  • Don’t be an a**hole when listing your age range. For example, if you’re 29, listing women ages 21-25 is kind of an a**hole thing to do. You want the DePaul undergrad? Really? Be a bit more open here, older women are not scary
  • Don’t be all shy that you don’t know why you’re doing this. You know why. It’s either to find a girlfriend, get some a** or find a wife. Let’s just be honest, we’re all doing this for a reason
  • Be honest in your profile but be aware. I believe in honesty and putting it out there, but there are creative ways to say it. For example, saying that you want to massage my foot before we go out (sweet but scary) or that you’re only interested in a woman who is sexually adventurous (three-way) may appeal to some but not to all. Just be aware of what you’re saying and who you might attract
  • Don’t make the girl do all the work. Believe it or not, women have to work at online dating too. We don’t just sit around and wait for guys to message us. So while I may message you to go out, I still would like you to plan the date and pick where we go. If I’m doing all the work to set up the date, I’ll be doing all the work in that relationship. No thanks
  • If you’re not interested, just say it. A friend was recently stood up by a guy she met online and it set me off in to a rage. If you’re not interested in going out for a first or second date, JUST TELL US. I’m not a mindreader, no woman is, and clearly, men aren’t either. Even if it’s a lame excuse, tell us rather than stand us up. It’s a p*ssy move and can still sting, even the strongest people

Phew, feels good to get that out there. I’m not saying girls don’t make mistakes in their profiles too but I thought I would put this out there for all the gentlemen to help increase their chances of meeting someone they might actually like and be compatible with.

Good luck men!

Anything I’m missing?


  1. A Super Girl says:

    Posting their wedding photos? That just makes me sad.

  2. i know! and please use proper spelling!

    when i see a message from someone who has a shirtless picture they already are telling me they are trying to show off and most likely a ahole. let it be a very nice surprise for the future!

  3. Elizabeth says:

    I know a lot of people who have found their partners online, and it’s always seemed like such an awesome leap of faith. I’d like to think most people are straightforward, but who knows?

  4. Marjolein says:

    I’ve never done online dating, but I think people need to remember that an online presence can be so much different from how a person is in real life. While my husband is very outgoing and social in real life, he comes across as rather curt in emails.

    And I’d say when in doubt at least meet for a drink?

  5. Lil' Woman says:

    Love your tips, I love the asshole one :)

  6. I DEFINITELY agree that guys really need to be more straight forward with what they’re looking for in their profile. I spent a year with a guy whose profile said he was looking for long term. Apparently to him long term means booty call. And yes, I do regret wasting a year with him.

    I would also like to see guys just say what they want physically. And some do! Which is great! Saves me time when I see “must be a size 2″ (well, you get my point). I then know they’re a douchebag and can move on.

  7. allison says:

    I love this post! and everyone is doing this for a reason!

  8. I think your list sounds great. Of course I lasted all of 3 days on eHarmony and then got a full refund. Just wasn’t my cup of tea. But turns out dating really isn’t either! ha.

  9. Erin says:

    It’s funny, I had the opposite take on the “date planning” thing. I liked it better when the guy deferred to me, it allowed me to pick a spot that was familiar to me, close to home, etc. It took a lot of the anxiety out of the situation for me. At least I was going somewhere familiar to meet someone I didn’t know, you know? But that’s just me and I was always more of a “let’s meet for a beer” online dater because I didn’t want to be trapped eating dinner with someone I had no interest in. :)

  10. TJ says:

    “Don’t be an a**hole when listing your age range. For example, if you’re 29, listing women ages 21-25 is kind of an a**hole thing to do. You want the DePaul undergrad? Really? Be a bit more open here, older women are not scary”

    THIS! I can’t tell you how many profiles of women I encounter that have what seems like an unrealistic age range – give people you’re own age/close to it a shot =)