First dates are my least favorite part of the dating process.
They are the inevitable dance of getting to know someone without revealing too much and being vague enough where you can decide if you would want to see that person again. Most of the time, the answer is “maybe.”
Here is usually how my first dates go:
- Anxiety about going and contemplating if I should cancel or postpone
- Review the person’s online dating profile to determine conversation topics for the evening
- Taking my time arriving at pre-arranged location so I’m not the first one there
- Commence awkward introductions/discussion of weather/transportation/parking to the location
- Review menus, smile and make very light talk while waiting for drinks to arrive
- *At this point, I get a sense if I will have to lead conversation a bit more or if he will*
- If I have to make conversation, I will initiate by asking something relative to items we’ve discussed by email and/or on his profile
- Conversation will continue
- Insert a few awkward pauses as one of us decides what else to discuss or if we should just call it a night
- Add in a few “bathroom breaks” which allow me to check my phone
- Evening ends, I walk to the bus or cab home, send a text to say thank you (if he paid) and delay deciding if I would see him again
This may sound cynical but I guess I’m not used to first dates going well.
Either way, a first date/drinks could be fun, a mess or just two hours of my life I won’t get back. Regardless, I’m giving it a try to keep me moving forward.
I don’t like starting over, starting fresh with someone I don’t know and putting in the extra work to try and see if “me” is someone he might be interested in. It would be easier to go back to the way things were, but there isn’t anything there anymore, so I have to start over.
But then again, drinks are just drinks and worst case, I make a quick escape and try again with someone else.
Whatever, let’s do this.