22 February 2012

The one with the wellie fetish

By: Jessica B.

Yep, you read the title correctly. Don’t worry, I’ll explain.

Here’s a secret: for as crass and loud as I can be, I am very conservative in certain parts of my personal life. I’m not talking prudish but just…unexposed to certain…preferences.

I’ve heard some weird Ok Cupid stories from TC (who hilariously blogs about them here), but from my limited interaction with the site, I’ve been freak-free. Until now.

I’m not in to dating right now but a guy emailed me through OKC and he looked normal, so I just clicked on the message to see what he had to say.

From now on, he’ll be referred to as WFG (wellie fetish guy).

WFG: Hey Jess, What color hunters do you have? Yeah they obviously are a turn on for me with girls lol…..

Note: there are no references in my profile about owning Hunter boots, but he does mention that he “likes” them in his profile.

I reply back saying that I own the Huntress boots but that I prefer my adorable Coach logo ones more. Yes, I realize I opened the door to the rest of this conversation but, I was very naive. VERY. This retort gets the following response.

WFG: Hey Jess, I bet the coach ones are nice too. Are they rubber boots or vinyl?

Note: RED FLAG, which went up thanks to a recent foot fetish conversation with Jenn. Also, VINYL? Are there vinyl rain boots? I stop responding to him. Too bad the emails didn’t stop. Over the next few days, I received the following, unprovoked emails.

WFG: Hey there did you wear your boots today? It’s supposed to snow! How about a drink sometime? Grrr.

WFG: Hey Jess, What are you up to tonight? Any chance I could meet up with you? Maybe wear your sexy hunter boots?

Note: At this point, I have zero idea what to do. Apparently, the standard online dating tactic of not responding isn’t giving him the hint, so I decide (after much creative wording as to not draw attention to the boot thing) to send back the following note.

JB: Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA. Unfortunately, I’m not free tonight. You seem like a nice guy but I don’t think we’re a fit. And I’m not really in to the boots thing. Didn’t want to leave you hanging so I wanted to let you know.

Note: At this point, I think I’m in the clear, until….

WFG: Never heard of a girl turning down a guy because he likes hunter boots! That’s a first!

Note: I guess my email wasn’t totally clear. Fair enough. I’m bothered by this enough though that I decide to clarify further.

JB: I’m not turning you down because I dislike Hunters or boots in general, I’m just trying to nicely say that I don’t like Hunters or wellies the same way you do.

Note: PHEW, I’m in the clear! I recount the story for friends this weekend, showing them his picture (so they’re aware) and apparently, that generated a notice to him that I’ve viewed his profile. Motherf*cker. And then I got another email from him.

WFG: You just checked the Birthday boy out, are you having second thoughts baby?

I wanted to reply SO BAD, but decided against it. Damn me being the bigger person.

I don’t care if people have a foot fetish or really any other fetish. It’s just not my thing. Plus, the feeling of rubber on bare skin is not enjoyable, and well, it shouldn’t just be YOU that’s enjoying it when we hook up.

So…yep, my interest in dating has actually decreased. Please tell me there are normal guys still out there.

12 Comments

  1. Mega says:

    This is amazing. Ah maze ing. The “are you having second thoughts baby?” seriously puts this guy in contention with Arielle’s Bongo Jordy. Go creepy guy stories, I need more, more…MORE!

  2. katelin says:

    I mean. Wow. Just so much wow to this.

  3. Holy crap–that is seriously weird!!!

  4. absolutely creepy, this dude.

  5. Rebekah says:

    Seriously rethinking my planned Hunter purchase now. Yipes.

  6. A Super Girl says:

    He didn’t really end his e-mail with “grrr”, did he? That’s just wrong.

  7. Mega says:

    This is amazing. Miss your face. Come back to Seattle; lets eat some food.

  8. allison says:

    OMG, this story is outta control.

    p.s. just got another pair of Hunter’s on Gilt.

  9. Jenn says:

    This story is equal parts hilarious and creepy.

  10. Arielle says:

    I selfishly wish you had continued talking to him because imagine how hilarious it could have gotten! Though I understand why you didn’t. =)

  11. Lacey Bean says:

    No words.

    I did have a guy once continue to email me randomly for like, months on end. I never responded – it was almost like my email address was his online journal or something! So weird.

 

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