Archive for April 2012

30 April 2012

When the last friendship strand snaps

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

In the last week, I’ve done a lot of thinking. About friendships, and one in particular.

In friendships, I tend to give, and give a lot. Sometimes, I get burned and when I do, I pick myself up, dust myself off and keep trying. I don’t want to give up on the people closest to me, even if they disappoint me. I want to keep trying because they mean that much to me.

But sometimes, something happens with that friend and I feel the last thread between us snap. And that’s it. I have to walk away, for now.

And that’s what happened recently. The last thread between me and someone I was once insanely close to, snapped.

Here’s the thing, I’m not always a great friend. I fuck up, make mistakes and probably disappoint people too. I can be self-absorbed, insecure and wallow in my own shit. My life is not perfect and being around me isn’t always fun.

But I always try to remind my friends that they mean a lot to me, so when I do fuck up, they know it’s not a regular thing.

Usually, time and distance changes my friendships, so when it is something so singular like this, it catches me by surprise.

I lash out, say mean things to no one and may point the finger back at them, but that doesn’t really matter because, whatever brought us here was a combination of the two of us.

I don’t like change, it’s scary, unknown and definitive. And while change has been good to me, when it involves losing the people I loved dearly, I am not a fan.

But Friday, I sent a final note to this person, my way of saying goodbye because things won’t be the same and I don’t want people like that in my life any more. It may be a bit lonelier but definitely more positive.

Jesus could I be any more vague? Holy shit.

How was your weekend?

 

 

 

25 April 2012

This book is bananas

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

Curious about BDSM? Unsure how to ask a lady in your life if she’d like to be your submissive? Or are you looking for ways to use S&M terms in public when talking to friends?

I have the solution and book (series) for you.

TA-DA!

My review so far: WHOA.

I finally caved and read this, you know, after it was on the TODAY show, cover of Entertainment Weekly and I heard enough recommendations from friends, co-workers, Twitter and even my boss.

This weekend, I ran in to three people at the bar who were reading it.

And not too long after I started, I had to find someone to talk about it with because the sh*t in there was insane. Insane to an apparently prudish, sexually conservative Midwest girl who only learned about S&M and plushies and furries from cable TV.

That is what this book does, it makes you want to talk about it and you cannot help but tell others. I cannot stop talking to my friends about it. It’s that crazy to me.

So why else does it resonate with women? According to EW, two words: erotic imagination. This leaves little to it but definitely indulges it when the maybe the sex drive ebbs and flows, or you’re in a drought (cough).

That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Let’s just say, your inner monologue gets a lot more creative. Wink.

Looks like I need to find me a new man in my life to…discuss it more.

I even downloaded a preview of the second book tonight. Guess that was inevitable.

And I’ve made the mental note that baby oil is great to soothe redness and pain brought on by spanking. It’s like a BDSM PSA. The more you know.

Are you guys reading this? What do you think?

 

 

 

 

23 April 2012

Revisiting a favorite travel memory

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: travel

Hello everyone! Miss me? It’s been awhile since I updated this blog and I’m still working through my writer’s block, but today, I realized something that compelled me to write.

One year ago today, I left for Italy.

Yes, the two-week trip that I’ve mentioned ad nauseam here before and after that trip, more about it againnnnnnnnnn.

This memory is poignant to me because, of all my solo trips, this was the game changer. It heaved me WAY out of my comfort zone and sparked a true hunger inside of me to just see everything RIGHT NOW.

Well that’s not really possible, but I’m more determined now to see everything on my list and go as big as I can.

These will remain solo trips, but one day, maybe someone will be with me.

Today, I re-read my post about Rome, Florence and Venice, and even took a pass through the insanely detailed travel journal.

And it made my heart ache a little. I miss it so much. I even framed some of my Italy souvenirs this weekend, which made me miss it more.

But those memories are never far from me. I thought about it wandering around Paris, when I wear my Rome street vendor ring, drink cappuccino and wear my North Face jacket (which I bought for that trip).

The next adventure will not require that jacket, but it requires me to officially, finally take a relaxing vacation. Um, okay.

And I know I’ll be back in Italy one day. I could never stay away from Rome forever and the Amalfi Coast/Cinque Terre still hasn’t met me. I can’t wait.

Hope you guys are still with me and that you’re doing well. What’s new? I’m hoping to be back again soon!

 

 

04 April 2012

Change is inevitable

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

When I first started blogging, I could not wait to post. I had so many ideas of things I wanted to write about, share, say, etc. in my head that I could not type fast enough.

I was even blogging five days a week when I started. That’s how excited I was to share everything in my head.

But as time goes on, things change.

I still love blogging and writing, but lately, I just haven’t had the desire to sit down and write. I don’t know what to say, how to say it or can’t because of the way certain people feel about my site IRL.

What used to be such a great creative outlet for me, has not felt a little bit like a…chore.

And it’s pretty obvious that my posting frequency has decreased too. Life gets in the way and when the pressures from real life creep in, it’s tough to sit down and write about what’s going on, especially if you can’t talk about it.

I’m not ready to give up on this blog or stop altogether, but I’m greatly feeling like my blogging mojo is a little burned out.

I’d like to think I’m just in need of a break to reconnect with what my purpose was in starting this and maybe recalibrate a little bit.

I’m not going away, but wanted to share where I was at because there may be more breaks in the future or just slower updates. I’ve hit writers block before but never like this, so I’m not sure how to describe it or get through it.

Hope you’ll all bear with me, I really want this inspiration to come back!

02 April 2012

The weekend of epic food crawls

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Food

There is some amazing food in Chicago. Also, the list of places to eat on my fridge is not getting shorter.

And with all that good food, sometimes, you find yourself in a food crawl, or two.

That is how my weekend went: food, cocktails, more food, beer and then more food.

I’ll recount both food crawls (thanks to the help of Foursquare).

Food Crawl #1: Friday Night Special

Naomi was in town visiting and we met up to dish food and drink around Wicker Park. Here is where we ended up:

  • Violet Hour – My favorite Chicago bar
  • Big Star walk up window – skipping sh*tty service but indulging in a Pastor and de Panza (pork belly) taco
  • Bristol – Shaved pig face, chicken hearts and amazing charred Brussels sprouts
  • Hot Chocolate – Late night dessert with hot chocolate, brioche donuts, chocolate souffle and bread pudding
  • Food Coma #1 – Literally

Food Crawl #2: Taco Crawl 2012

A very taco-savvy coworker coordinated this trip around Wicker Park as well. It was a mix of meat, beer, Mexican coke and more beer.

  • Chris’s Northland Tavern – Beer and building my buzz
  • Carniceria Guanajuato – Awesome Carne Asada and Mexican coke, also, trying to sober up
  • Tierre Caliente – Best Pastor taco ever and a little beef tongue taco
  • Loop Tavern – Liquor store, lotto ticket seller and bar. I wish we had these closer to my house! Cue tipsyness again
  • Carbon – Sweetest staff and best Tilapia taco ever. Also, I should not drink anymore
  • Cleo’s Tavern – I lied, one more beer

Tilapia and chicken tacos

BEER!

At this point, I don’t need to eat for another week. But I do have another Wicker Park food crawl formulating in my brain. But I need to prepare a bit more for this. Marathon food sampling is not for the unprepared or weak of heart.

Ooof. How was everyone else’s weekend?