Sometimes, you have one of those days where it’s like you’re living your own clumsy romantic comedy, minus the guy, chance encounter, fabulous apartment and clothing you could not afford if you tried, well, you know what I mean.
Yesterday was one of those days, where (no kidding), the following all happened:
- Hear Kate is in labor and almost make my phone fly off the elliptical machine trying to frantically text my friends
- Get to work and while exiting my desk, make an embarrassing noise that sounds like, well, farts (it wasn’t)
- Use the stall that doesn’t have toilet paper and find out too late
- Spill food on my new dress
- Push multiple times against a glass door that turns out NOT to be the door but just a piece of glass
- Have a full Marilyn moment in that new dress after dinner with friends
Oh, and after that Marilyn moment, thinking I totally got away with it (despite my friend throwing herself on me to maintain my decency), we walk down the street and a guy who was outside smoking said, “yeah, I saw that.”
Thus today, I wore a tarp and pants with a layer under my shirt because I don’t give shit away for free. I’m in my 30s, too old for that.