25 July 2013

The one where I got mouth herpes

By: Jessica B.

No, I’m not making this up. I’ve told a few IRL friends about this and for a while, I debated whether or not to post it here. But, now, it’s funny and really should be shared.

A long time ago, I was spending time with a guy I liked a lot. Liked him RULL HARD. I just loved talking to him, spending time with him and yeah, kissing him. It was the kind of kisses that make you feel like you’re on fire (in a good way) and just like cannot get enough.

And then I got mouth herpes, aka cold sores. From him.

It started out with an innocent “hey want to come over and watch some football?” and then the polite small talk of “hey want a beer” and moved to an awkward silence broken only by him tackling me and commencing a kissing session. Game on.

And yeah, it was nice. But at one point, it got a little more physical and he bit my lip. In that moment, I was fine with it. But then after we stopped and I am in a cab home with a little fuzzy feeling, I start noticing my lip is swelling. And not like a little bit. Like…A LOT.

Panicked, I put ice on it and take some Benadryl, in case I’m having an allergic reaction.

Cut to the next morning, mouth still swollen and it literally feels like someone is lighting a match in my inner lip. I cannot even BEGIN to describe to you how painful this was.

Nothing worked to alleviate the pain. So, sheepishly, I asked a friend if she knew what was wrong. I explained the situation, showed her my lip, her eyes got really wide and then, she smiled. “Dude, you have a giant cold sore. You need to get to the doctor.”

Doctor. And doctor visit means copay.

But I went, showed my doctor my mouth, and when she asked how I got this (after NEVER having a cold sore before), I told her, and she started laughing too.

And then I got a prescription for Valtrex, which I had to fill at the CVS near my work. When I went to pick it up, I wore my sunglasses and tried to cover my face “Cousin It” style.

It took a week for the feeling of my mouth being lit on fire to go away. And I never told that guy what happened. I was too embarrassed and I was afraid that if I told him, he wouldn’t like me anymore. That’s how much I liked him. He asked why I was “sick” after we hung out and I looked him right in the eye and said, “viral infection.” Seems close, right?

I have a refill still on that Valtrex prescription too, so just in case, I’m set for next time. WHICH I HOPE NEVER HAPPENS.

So that is the story of how I got mouth herpes and had the most expensive makeout. EVER.




  1. Ha. I have a screwed up immune system. As in, I am the freak that had chicken pox twice. I am insanely prone to shingles (but thus far haven’t had them) and live in giant fear of them. But if I eat a ton of strawberries? I get a canker sore inside my mouth. Which is essentially a variation of herpes. Everyone technically carries/has them. It happens. But your story rocks.

  2. Paula says:

    My lips got sore just reading this! :-(

    My mum gets bad cold sores, not just on her lips but sometimes on other bits of her face too. I live in fear that I might catch them off someone one day!

  3. katelin says:

    oh goodness i remember when that happened, at least you can laugh about that ish now, ha.

  4. Erin says:

    Oh my gawd!! Now THAT is a dating story for the ages.

    My husband had to get Valtrex once when he had shingles (!!) and he was also super embarrassed. They never should have had those commercials for it.

    Once in high school I got a weird rash on my chin and I jokingly told people that my boyfriend gave me mouth herpes. It was very clearly NOT cold sores but apparently my sense of humor in high school was too warped for my classmates because of course they started the rumor that he’d given me herpes.

  5. Nora says:

    Oh my goodness! you’re such a nice person to not tell him why you were “sick.”

    I had no idea that cold sores could come on so quickly. Thank goodness for modern medicine (and good kissers, minus the mouth herpes thing.)

  6. Ohhhhh boy. I would have laid that one on him whenever that relationship ended. I’m envisioning some sort of argument with you punctuating it with a, ‘And you know what else? You gave me mouth herpes when you bit my lip, asshole!’ (drops mic)

  7. HA! i hope you marry him, now THAT would be a funny toast story.

  8. Julianne says:

    LOL. At least you can look back and laugh now!

  9. Ivy @ LWLH says:

    I AM DYING OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ME = DEAD!!!! :) lol