Wow, that may have sounded a bit more dramatic than intended.
My birthday is this week, technically, on Friday. Again. Ha, it’s funny how that happens, on the same day every year, but this one totally snuck up on me and now, of course, I’m well aware.
But while catching up with a friend on Sunday, she asked if I ever dreaded my birthday because it makes me think of being another year older and being single, etc. and kind of focusing on things maybe not being the way I predicted they would be by my age.
I answered her, but I couldn’t get that question out of my mind for the rest of the day.
No, I don’t dread my birthday. I dreaded it when I turned 29 because it felt like this whole “young” chapter in my life was ending and the pressure of turning 30 felt like it was turned up to 11. But now, no. I can’t say I anxiously look forward to it, but I don’t dread it.
Why? Because I don’t focus anymore on what I don’t have. I focus on what I do.
And I’ve never felt I needed a guy to make me feel more happy and fulfilled on my birthday or any other time too.
Plus, I don’t worry that life at my age didn’t turn out as I expected, because honestly, I thought I would be a doctor by 24 years old and have three kids. Clearly, I learned a LONG time ago that wasn’t going to happen :) So anything after that, I’m kind of making as I go along.
But if she would have asked me this question last year, when I was in the midst of one of the worst years ever and feeling defeated about everything, I may have had a different response.
That was then, and this is now.
2013 hasn’t been all roses (cough, leg/running issue) but I’m comfortable at my age now and will be still when I’m one year older. If anything, I want to use this as a reset time, much like NYE, to focus on me, what I want, fixing what isn’t working (which there is one big thing) and doing things that make me happy.
And right now, there is a lot of things making me happy, even if it stresses me out at times.
So I have to remember to get Prosecco for my annual birthday toast because turning one year older always deserves bubbles.