I’ve been back from vacation for just over two weeks, and let me tell you, getting back to reality is TOUGH.
Vacation is fun! You don’t have to think about real, adult things because it’s all museums, food, culture and just relaxing.
Normally, I don’t have trouble re-integrating to real life, but for some reason, coming back from Ireland and Germany has been rough. And I think I know why.
Things feel weird and disconnected. And I don’t do well with “weird.”
Weird means that things just feel out of sorts, at work, with friends, etc. And I don’t really know how to fix it so I end up stressing myself out because I can’t fix it or fix it to be the way I want, which ends up driving me crazy.
Spoiler alert: I am a Type-A, people pleaser. And sometimes, it sucks, because people treat you like crap, you let them and then you just feel crappy yourself because you know it’s wrong but don’t change it.
Trust me, I’ve been there. And since I returned, a few things have happened to bring a lot of topics/issues I’ve been keeping quiet to the surface, and that shit hits you like a tidal wave.
For example, it made me realize some situations with friends that upset me, but I kept bottled up. Or, having to realize that some friends I was really close to, I’m not close with right now, and rather than keep forcing that connection, I have to accept that friendships change.
I’m SO not good at that.
So, for now, at the strong advice of multiple friends (who have listened to more crazy in the last two weeks than probably ever before), it’s time to do one thing.
Let it ride.
I don’t do well with things being undefined or “weird,” but I need to also recognize what I can and cannot control.
I can’t change the stress at work, or the crappy treatment from friends, but I can change how I let that affect me and identify what I can control.
Seriously, why didn’t someone tell me adulthood was so difficult?