Spring has been a fickle b*tch in Chicago so far, but I can still tell a season of change is coming up.
Blah, I can go on for awhile about how I dislike some parts of change. It’s necessary but sometimes, it just sucks.
Lately, my friends are going through a lot of change, and I feel like I’m standing still.
They’re meeting guys (or girls), moving, moving out of state for a few, and recently, a lot of close friends have changed jobs. That has been the hardest change. Going from seeing them every day to maybe a text 1-2 times a week (if we remember) and sometimes, wondering what we have to talk about since we can’t gab about how much we dislike certain things at work.
And sometimes, you realize in that effort to keep in touch or find something else to talk about, you just don’t.
A lot of my close friends are from work. We spent a lot of time there and thus, form close bonds. And the idea of not seeing some of them around, or being part of the next journey with them, like I was for this, is a bummer.
And it makes me kind of sad.
Looking around a coworker’s going away part last night, it struck me how many people I won’t see around the office soon. And in having a moment of being like, “dude I’m really gonna miss you.” The response wasn’t exactly the same. Not in a bad way, but they have their own stuff going on now, competitions for their time and other things they need to focus on.
So I indulged my sadness by listening to emo music on the bus ride home in the rain and remind myself of things I learned in therapy about friendships and times of change.
I don’t know what’s ahead for me, minus starting French classes again and marathon training. Maybe it’s a season of change for me too, just a tad delayed.