Archive for July 2014

06 July 2014

The appointment where I got not so great news

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

So here’s how Thursday at 10:45am CT went:

Doctor: “You have a stress fracture. It’s right here [points to a bright white line on my MRI].”

Me: [Silence]

Doctor: “I don’t know when it happened, but it’s likely that it was your injury back in May.” [the one where I continued to run after, including that 10 mile race]

Me: “But I don’t have bone pain, I have muscle pain. And that pain has been better lately.”

Doctor: “Your muscles are likely compensating for the fracture, to protect it. It’s not like a normal fracture where the pain gets worse until you can’t walk.”

Me: “So…..now what?”

Doctor: “We will give you a boot to help the leg rest and start the six-week healing process now. No weight-bearing exercise, so only swimming and biking, but if biking hurts you have to stop.”

Me: [Silence]

And thus, I left with a new accessory and with a general dazed/stunned look on my face.

The thing is, I know it could be worse. I could have a full break, or be bed ridden, need crutches, or need surgery. But that doesn’t give me a TON of comfort just yet.

I just can’t…fucking believe it.

It is just setback, but sometimes, the dark part of my mind wanders and feels like…it’s just not fucking fair. I have friends who are FAR LESS active than me and they can just walk outside and run 5 miles like it’s no big deal. And I train and take care of myself and this happens. Why can’t this just happen for me???? And then I want to quit and say fuck it.

But, to keep that dark part of my mind at bay, I’m focusing on what I can do for now. It is only six weeks, maybe a little more. It’s not a full break, and it could be so much worse. This sucks. But it’s not the end. It’s just…another set back.

So Thursday night I cried, watched some of my favorite movies, listened to emo music and wallowed in a pool of self pity. And then Friday I got up and started to practice doing my daily stuff with the walking brace. Looks easy but trust me, it’s exhausting.

And the countdown to July 25 for a three-week check in is on. And I will be checking out the water workouts at my gym in the meantime. This should be hilarious.

Sigh.