16 October 2014

Irrational fears

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

Hey! It’s a non password protected post! And this one is at least 75% more upbeat than the last two posts.

At PT one night, my therapist and I got to talking about our irrational fears. Soon, we had a large group discussion about it and honestly, some of them were pretty funny.

I don’t count spiders, rats, heights or confined spaces as irrational fears, it’s more the…uncommon ones.

At first, I was all, “heck no I don’t have those!” and then, while doing my second round of “monster walks,” I remembered mine. I have two. I’ve told a few friends about them, but they’re so hilarious that I wanted to lighten the mood here with them.

Fear One: Getting stuck in clothing

Here’s the thing, I’m a shapely woman. Wide shoulders, an ample chest and “birthing” hips. That means clothes fit weird because they gap in parts and then are too tight in others. It’s a blessing and a curse.

But, I am very afraid of getting stuck in clothing while trying them on at the store. Specifically, the dresses for women that you have to slide over your head and zipper along your side. Not zipper up the back. Those dresses can create a great shape but given my shapeliness, I either can’t get them over my head or chest and that’s when the panic settles in.

The panic that I cannot get this dress off of my body. This immediately leads to a state of panic, followed by sweating and then the urge to just HULK MY WAY OUT OF THAT FUCKING DRESS. HULK RAGE.

Full disclosure, I have never had to do that, but it’s been close.

Yes, I’m an adult woman and I’m scared of getting stuck in clothing.

Fear Two: Subway grates

If you don’t live in an urban area, this isn’t as big of a deal, but in Chicago, I do anything I can do avoid walking over subway grates. Why? Because they bow down and usually below them is a huge pit. Pit of dirt, rats (I’m guessing) and hard ground.

And every single time I see them, I’m terrified they will bust open at that exact moment and I will fall to the ground and be covered in dirt and rats.

So when I see them, I avoid walking over them at all costs. That sometimes includes cutting people off to get on the non-grate part of the sidewalk, or temporarily cutting in to the street.

But if I HAVE to walk over them, I walk REALLY fast, with my little legs moving like the wind.

I just don’t like them.

What are your irrational fears?

 

6 Comments

  1. Sara Strand says:

    Oh yes, the clothing thing. More specifically- sports bra. I got stuck in a sports bra once and it resorted to me cutting it off. It felt like what my cat must feel like when he gets stuck in a plastic bag.

  2. Aileen says:

    Aw glad you have an unprotected post! I used to have an irrational fear of getting stuck in clothes and then one day that fear turned into a reality! Tried on a skirt in John Lewis (department store in the UK) and then I must have been holding my stomach in whilst zipping it up so the minute I let me stomach out, the zip burst. I ended up having to be cut out of it by one of the staff. Not one of my finer moments. I think I managed to rip another top in another shop that same day so after my disastrous shopping I went drinking instead! Needless to say this is now not an irratinal fear of mine, it is a genuine fear!! xx

  3. Katelin says:

    I am irrationally afraid of gutters. The movie IT ruined them for me. Also, driving behind a car that has poles or pointy things on them as I’m afraid they’ll come flying at me. I’m a ball of awesome, can’t you tell?

  4. Akirah says:

    Cancer…which I know is pretty common. Less common might be vomit. I don’t just hate vomit, I am irrationally terrified of it. Like, I won’t even walk down the aisle that has the Gatorade because I’m scared I’ll catch a virus from someone who was buying Gatorade for their sick stomach. Completely silly, I know.

    P.S. Are you sharing the password to your previous posts? If so, I’d love to read. Let me know.

  5. Erini says:

    I’ve Hulked my way out of a dress before. Thankfully it was one of my own — though I’m sad it’s gone now. I’ve also gotten stuck in a dress in a store’s dressing room. Panic and embarrassment!

    My irrational fears are insects (though I’m getting better with this), crustaceans — probably because they look like sea bugs (and mainly female lobsters gross me out due to their swimmerets), and surinam toads (so, so, so gross).

  6. Oh my gosh, I totally agree with the getting stuck in clothes thing! I get panicked when it happens too, and actually start thinking I am going to have to live in those clothes and may never escape. Yep – irrational haha.
    Also, I have a thing with the spiders. Boring but very real to me haha.