01 January 2015

2015!

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

It is officially 2015. And, as I’m sure you can all imagine. I’m NOT unhappy to see 2014 end. Which is weird because I prefer even-numbered years. But as you know, this one kicked my ass a bit so….NOPE NOT SAD.

Today, I re-read my post welcoming in 2014 and this time, I didn’t feel emotional reading it. Maybe it’s because I have a small cold and am on the couch resting. Or maybe I’m still feeling just a bit unemotional about stuff.

But in looking back at this year, despite the bad, there have been some great moments too.

Highs: Soldier Field 10-mile race (AMAZING), Paris and Amsterdam, birth of my nephew (who is so cute I cannot even handle it), reconnecting with a friend from college (who I still talk to regularly), connecting with new people in the city, depression under control, reconnecting with family at hospice while waiting for my grandma to pass.

Lows (quick revisiting): Job loss, grandma dying, stress fracture, giving up the marathon, temporary-ish weight gain from medication.

Now that 2014 is done, I don’t forget the lows, but choose to focus more on the highs, so they don’t get lost in the shuffle. Because they were still great things.

So, what have I learned?

I learned about loss.

Real loss. Loss of security, identity, and realizing that no matter how much you think you have your shit together in life, it can change in an instant. And you have no control over it and how it is resolved.

I learned that life is really too fucking short to be unhappy. And that choosing to be happy is really fucking easy, for those who want it.

And sadly, I know people who choose not to be.

I spent so much time in the last few months and years feeling unhappy about things I could change, but didn’t. Or feeling guilty because I wanted things and instead, denied myself them.

Fuck.that.shit.

Choosing to be happy is really simple. You ask yourself what you want, and you go after it. Or, outline the steps you need to take to get you there. And if you don’t know, what are you going to explore to maybe help you find it. And don’t give negative people, things, or moments any more energy than needed. Because they will suck you dry (TWSS) and bring you to their own unhappy level.

I’ve had a long look in the mirror, reminding myself of the following: If you’re not happy, change it. Or don’t, but then don’t complain about what the results you don’t get. And if you choose to complain, acknowledge your choices that affected those outcomes.

After everything that’s happened, I learned that decisions are really that easy.

So hopefully this realization and change in perspective serves me well in the next year.

Happy New Year everyone, I hope you had a great evening celebrating and my best wishes to you and yours for 2015.

I’ll be back again before I leave, not sure what my posting schedule will be while I’m gone, if I will. Internet where I’m going isn’t the most reliable. So we’ll see.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Comments

  1. katelin says:

    Bravo friend, bravo. I hope 2015 is nothing but awesome for you! xo

  2. The Modern Gal says:

    Happy New Year! And a happy new approach. Deciding to make a change and then following through is hard but worth it!

  3. Some very wise words. I wish you a very happy 2015 x