I love going out but I hate the many-times awkward moment that occurs when the check arrives. The “Oh how much did you have? Okay does that include tip? Do you need change” moment where conversation can die and damper the evening. Because after you argue over who had three mimosas rather than coffee or how much did Sarah REALLY eat of the calamari appetizer, you’re kinda like, so….the weather today was great!
But while I’ve been able to maneuver the social check situation with friends, I am a bumbling awkward idiot when it comes to that moment on dates….or “maybe” dates.
The first real guy I dated, never paid for me. Ever. We always went Dutch. He said that he “didn’t want to insult me because I am a progressive, independent woman.” It took me years to realize he was being a cheap fuck. And that scarred me to any future dates and not knowing if a guy would actually pay for our meal or drinks.
I’m not kidding.
And while I’m a progressive, modern woman who makes a good living and can financially support herself, I want chivalry. I want old fashioned romance and dates where the guy steps up like a fucking man and pays. Especially if he asks me out. I’ve been in relationships where I’ve picked up the tab at times but in the early stages of dating, IMO, the guy should pay.
I always offer to leave tip, or take my wallet out as a genuine gesture to pay, and every single time after cheap as fuck college guy, guys will take care of it or tell me no. But, I like to offer.
So, fast forward to Saturday night and being on date #2 with a guy who gives great text and has a lot of common interests as me, and after a pricey meal at a place he chose (with wine and apps), the bill arrives and he says to my face, “so let’s just split it down the middle, that’s fair.”
Conversation was good, but not THAT good. And, the date didn’t really start out on a good foot when he (dressed in jeans, polo and a suit jacket – a big step up from his Bristol Renaissance Fair-like outfit from date #1) said “thank you” to my compliment about his outfit, then proceeded to look me up and down and say nothing in return. Ouch. BURN.
After that moment of settling up the bill, he’s like, “let’s go for a nice walk.” To which I accompanied, and he made no effort or even cheap attempt to hold my hand. And, then I realized, I don’t have to fucking stay out here and walk around making small talk. I paid for my meal, I’m going home! So after about 15-20 minutes of awkward post-check conversation (where the fact that we split it felt like the biggest elephant sucking the air out of the room), I said, “yeah I’m tired, I’m going home.”
I wasn’t tired, but I was ready to go home. Oh well, one down.
How do you handle the bill situation on dates?