‘beauty’ Category

03 November 2008

My hair makes me fake

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: beauty, Chicago

Apparently I’m a fake. Now I’ll tell you why. 

I recently ran into an acquaintance who dyed her hair from blonde to brown. After some idle chit chat, I commented to her how much I loved the new look (it was awesome). She said thank you and I asked why she opted to go dark, which was her natural color. For her, it was financial because highlights are more expensive than full color, and I agreed with her, because well, that’s why I dyed my hair dark again. 
So here is the kicker.
Before she parted she said, “yeah I never liked dyeing my hair anyhow, it just makes someone so fake.” I asked if she was kidding and she looked at me, dead serious and said…no. Waiting for me to reply, I laughed it off saying, “well I guess I’m fake, totally plastic.”
I thought about this for a while after she and I parted ways and honestly, I thought it was kind of a bitchy comment. Just because someone dyes their hair, that doesn’t make them fake. Not all of us were born with a gorgeous head of hair with flawless color and no gray. I have been dyeing my hair for, ohhhh, about 10 years. I hated my dark brown hair my entire life and opted for eight years of white-blonde highlights.
Dying my hair this very unnatural color was expensive but worth it because I wanted to be blonde, like I was as a baby (heck I didn’t even have hair until I was 2).

Finally, about two years ago, I couldn’t afford Chicago-priced highlights anymore so I dyed my entire head medium brown, almost my natural color. Yes, it was a big adjustment, but it was worth it and now I love my dark hair. I hate paying to get my hair done regularly but because of my premature gray, I want to dye it.
Some people are totally comfortable with a few gray strands, but not me. I would prefer to cover those up as much as possible, especially as the number of them increases each year. For me, it’s a self-esteem boost and one less thing to focus on and worry about. That’s not fake. I can count on one hand how many people I know who have never ONCE colored their hair. And yes, I’m jealous of them. I am not very secure with my gray hairs, yet.

Maybe I’ve overreacted to her comment, but as fake as I may be, at least I don’t make narrow-minded comments.

How about all of you? Do you color your hair, if so, why? Covering gray is a big incentive for me!
Election Day note:
Also, tomorrow is Election Day so I hope everyone will be turning out to the polls (especially if you didn’t vote early) to participate. I’m anticipating long lines at my polling station so the iPod will be charged and ready to go!

The more exciting news I have is that tomorrow night, I will be down in Grant Park for the Obama/Biden rally. This is a HUGE event for the city and something truly historic. I’m thrilled and excited to be going.

I’ll be tweeting live from Grant Park (another awesome reason to follow me on Twitter) and have a full recap with pictures on Wednesday, since I won’t be home until super late on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. Here’s hoping I can put a matching outfit together for work on Wednesday.

19 August 2008

Rant: Another celebrity caves to the Hollywood stereotype

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: beauty, celebrity

I always look forward to the new issue of US Weekly. Who doesn’t love unnamed sources and somewhat shady reporting sometimes? It’s the perfect balance to my other reputable magazines, such as Vanity Fair.

Anyhow, the latest US Weekly definitely caught my attention and not for the right reason. Jennifer Love Hewitt, who I loved on Party of Five, is on the cover standing like a Stepford Wife declaring that she lost 18 pounds magically in 10 weeks. Now everyone can see how thin and statuesque she is compared to her old body. The cover and story photos gloss over how amazing she looks now, perfectly styled and put together, compared to how she used to dress, which sadly is how I dress on the weekends sometimes. I guess in real life, I’m the fugly version of her too.

She says in the magazine that she did it to feel better about herself and that I believe, somewhat. Who doesn’t want to feel good about how they look? After waking up on the bathroom floor one morning after a long night out, I swore that I would change my lifestyle and since then, I have. I work out, I eat better (or honestly try to) and take care of myself. And weight loss came along with that. But I did it because when I looked in the mirror every morning, I wanted to think I was a hottie rather than be embarrassed at how I look. And if Jennifer honestly did that for the same reason, then good for her.

But there are coincidences in timing here that I can’t help but trip on. The unflattering Hawaii photos in December, her declaration to People magazine to “stop calling me fat!” and her scrutiny back of the media for their focus on self-image, yet now, a few months later she’s back in the news for this brand-new body that seems to exemplify everything she told them media to f*ck off on before.

The magazine doesn’t say what size she’s at now, but I can’t help but feel that it perpetuates the stereotype that women who wear a larger size, such as a size 12 or above are always the “before” picture in these magazines. Kirsten Johnston from Music and Lyrics and 3rd Rock from the Sun was a size 12 at her “heaviest” and because of a medical condition lost 60 pounds. To be fair, this is a different situation but the way she talked about being a size 12/14 is what upsets me. Saying that was her size at her “lowest point” where she ate whatever she wanted and drank beer all the time doesn’t show that a size 12 can still be a healthy size, even if some people have gotten there using unhealthy methods. 

I proudly declare that I wear a size 12 and I’m not unhealthy or at my “lowest” point in health. The only way I can get any lower than a size 10 would be if you cracked off part of my hip bones because I got the “hips” in the family. I am petite, curvy and “full-figured” but I am not ashamed of the size I wear, nor do I feel the need to torture and deny myself everything so I can crash diet another 18 pounds off my frame. If I feel like my overall package is healthy and fit, who the hell cares if I wear a size 12 or 6? I could actually be healthier than some of the size 6 women running around.

So when I see women who declare they wore a size 12/14 “before” they lost all this weight, it says to me that because I’m stranded on “size 12 island” that I will never achieve the Hollywood glamour that they have with the help of starving themselves and exercising 14 hours a day. Who has time for that? I want to eat!

Now this is only my opinion and I could be very wrong in my assumptions, but it’s always disappointing to me to see a woman as self-confident and secure as Jennifer cave to what the media says is healthy and beautiful. I’m not embarrassed by how I look so now it’s time to grab a drink and settle back on “size 12 island,” and watch the sun set, and clap.

28 July 2008

I’m a petite little ball of rage

By: Jessica B.
I always wanted to be a superhero but unfortunately my alter ego isn’t as cool as Batman or Supergirl. My alter ego’s name is Rage Girl. It’s like the female Hulk, but minus the green skin, bulging muscles and no top thing.
My alter ego used to come out only when I was horribly anal retentive and OCD in high school and college, but since I graduated and moved out on my own, she only comes out on certain occasions now, like during customer service incidents or working with vendors.
It may be hard to believe but I’m overall not an “angry” person. Funny and sarcastic, yes and yes, but angry, no. I just have a tendency to overreact sometimes and “make a mountain out of a mole hill.” I get hormonal – deal with it.
Since my BlogHer-Girls Gone Touristy adventures last week, I’ve been a bit more tired than usual as I ease back into my routine. This has lead Rage Girl to come out more than normal in a given period of time.

Recent Rage Girl appearances –

Ask before taking

Last week on the plane back from San Francisco, I zonked out pretty much right away once we were in the air. Four days of little sleep and a two-hour time difference will do that to me. The woman next to me was flying from San Fran to Chicago to New York to Oslo, Norway (good lord what an awful flight) and was already obnoxious on the plane before we took off.

After a nice little nap, I suddenly woke up, in a panic (over nothing at the time) during the flight and noticed that the new Vanity Fair magazine I tucked away in my seat pouch was gone. Panicked, I started looking for it, unsure how it vanished, when the obnoxious woman turned to me and said…

“Oh was that magazine yours?”

“Yes, where is it?”

“I thought it was there for everyone so I took it” (she takes the magazine out of her backpack)

“Well yes it’s mine, how about before you steal things you f*cking ask the person first?” (Rage Girl is now talking)

“I’m sorry, you were asleep”

“Yeah well do you see me dig through your stuff and assume it’s for everyone? No I didn’t think so” (I take the other magazine out of my pouch while saying this and stuff it in my bag again)

Summary: She probably thinks Americans are totally crazy.

Eyebrows gone bad

My love of Nordstroms is not hidden in my little blog. If I could make out with Nordstroms, I would. It’s a beacon of joy and happiness in my life, where racks of purses and shoes make me smile and take all my cares away.

A few months ago I went to the Nordstroms Spa at a friend’s suggestion for eyebrow waxing. I can’t maintain my own eyebrows (I’m plucking deficient) so I met a woman named Amy at the Spa and now she’s my “girl.” Unfortunately, Nordstroms has an issue with my last name because they can never find me in the system as a client. Why? I have no idea. 

On Thursday, I called to make my post-San Fran appointment and spa attendant told me I was not in their computer system, which can’t be true because I’ve gone there multiple times. 

When I challenged her on this, giving her multiple ways to search for me, last name, phone number, etc. she became defensive and told me that I was “wrong,” which immediately brought out Rage Girl and I demanded to speak to a manager. When the attendant said no, she and I continued to argue and Rage Girl got very upset and started yelling (so embarrassing.)

The woman continued to tell me I’m wrong, which lead to me swearing and hanging up the phone in a huff. 

Summary: Now my happy place thinks I’m a raging, psychopathic b*tch.

Fortunately, I did speak with a manager, who was very apologetic about the situation and was able to resolve the situation. And now I get a free eyebrow wax and they threw in a coupon for a free meal at the Nordstroms Cafe and Coffee Bar for me too. I said thank you and apologized for Rage Girl’s actions. I usually end up having to clean up her messes. This was almost as bad as the whole “belt incident” at Nordstroms too that Liz had to step in to regulate on.

So that’s me, at time a petite little ball of rage. Maybe I’ll develop another super human power, like flying or X-ray vision. Fingers crossed.
Anyone else have superhero powers or an alter ego?
Reader note: Thank you to everyone who commented yesterday on the Newsweek article about accepting money from your parents. I really enjoyed all of your comments and totally agree with you all. And welcome to all the new visitors that commented as well!

19 May 2008

Beauty hurts – duh

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: beauty
I admit it, I’m a sissy when it comes to beauty. I’m slightly vain and I can’t handle the pain that beauty sometimes entails. And no I didn’t mean for that to rhyme.
I bring this up because Friday I went to Spa Nordstrom’s to get an eyebrow touch up before the wedding this weekend and my Eyebrow Girl (which is what I’ll refer to her as) told me I was a sissy when it comes to waxing. And sadly, she is right. Actually I’m kind of a sissy about anything beauty and pain-related.
Now in my defense, I have very sensitive skin so my skin hates the wax more than normal. When I left my appointment on Friday and met up with my friend Ryan, the first words out of his mouth were, “dude what happened to your face?” Touching. And Eyebrow Girl made this comment after tearing a particularly large piece of wax off the skin just below the eyebrow, so that is already sensitive. And I’ve mentioned before how bad I am at simple beauty rituals like plucking my eyebrows so waxing seems to be my only option to keep them under control. It’s an abusive relationship.
But moving along, the recent waxing incident reminded me of the simple phrase that my stepmom reiterated to me when a hot cocktail dress was cutting off circulation in my chest, “beauty hurts.” As a girl, I can absolutely say, yes it does.
I’ve suffered for beauty, especially when you live in the city where everyone is beautiful, beautifully dressed and put together. You find yourself obsessing about mani/pedi’s, getting a wax touch up and making sure you don’t leave the house without some kind of make up on. And now I am a follower. I’ve done the highlights fed through the shower cap with the crochet hook (yes it’s painful), waxed, had plantar’s warts removed with needles before sandal season and worn shoes that look hot while walking to the printer but hurt for about 20 minutes after.
I declare my sissiness for beauty pain proudly. Friends who wax more than me, tease me about this because I sound like such a “newbie” and say, “well if your feet hurt, wear the comfortable shoes!” They are right and this pain is brought solely upon myself but it’s nice to be all made up sometimes and have that newly “cleaned up” feeling. So I just bring the aloe lotion for my eyebrows, slap on some Band-Aids for the feet and take a deep breath to get into the dress, all in my fabulously highlighted hair.

12 May 2008

Tidbit Monday: A Potpourri post – make up, more stripping and rock bands

By: Jessica B.
My mind is kind of scattered today as I continue working to establish a wireless network with my Apple Airport Express at home. It’s supposed to be easy to connect, but it’s apparently not easy enough for me because I can’t get it to work. Grr!

Anyhow, enjoy today’s random sampling.

Make-up Brushes – Help!
Apparently my eyebrows are like a rain forest, as I have managed to break my fourth Sephora make-up brush since December. How? I have no idea. For $5, I wasn’t expecting greatness, but somehow breaking four in less than six months seems a little crazy. No, I’m not brushing my eyebrows aggressively, but for some reason the top of the brush keeps snapping off like a twig. And those little bristles scatter like leaves, making them horrible to find and pick up.

I cannot bring myself to go back to Sephora and buy another one (mostly because I know it won’t last) so if you all have recommendations of good, affordable eyebrow brushes and shapers, I would appreciate it. My eyebrows would too.

Meet my rock band
Because of my awful, tone-deaf voice, I will not be joining a band in the foreseeable future. But I was playing around online the other day and found a fun Web site that will let me generate my own band name based on my real name.

The Grammy for Best New Artist is definitely not in my future, but in my head, I can play Guitar Hero and Rock Band now with a purpose. So I proudly introduce to you all my band…..

Your Band Name is:
The Plastic Housewives

I think that’s pretty appropriate. Let’s rock!

Strip club follow-up
Sadly no pictures are available just yet, but Meg did ask for the story behind the “I don’t want to burn you” comment so I have provided it below.

At the strip club (which gave us a front-row seat near a pole- score!), one of the other bachelorettes there was insanely drunk and smoking like a chimney. When “Hot Joe” (the best stripper) came over to her to make some money, he proceeded to straddle her and pull her on top of him.

Because of her level of intoxication, the cigarette went with the woman onto the stripper and she screamed out “I don’t want to burn you” (with the cigarette) while he removed $1 bills from her cleavage and bra strap.

That was nice of her to try and save the stripper from a cigarette burn on his perfectly-toned pectoral. But I doubt that would have been the first time something like that happened.