I’m at the stage where many of my friends are having kids, or on their second one. Yikes, it’s THAT time?

But with that stage comes kid birthday parties. First off, I loved birthdays as a kid. Presents, cake, singing, games, GOODIE BAGS. It’s the best.

And now that I’m on the other side of the kid’s birthday party, I can say this as a single lady attendee:

They.are.terrifying.

Not too long ago, I was invited to a friend’s son’s birthday party and after missing his last two, I made it a point to be there and support the mom (my friend) and her adorable family.

There were 10 children, their parents and four non-parent, single/engaged people.

Everyone brought gifts for the birthday boy, I brought two bottles of wine. I AM THAT FRIEND.

But all that wine was gone by the end of the night :) Just saying.

I don’t spend a ton of time around kids, especially large groups of them, so when the kids gathered for pinata and present time, and the kids were screaming (at a deafening decibel), laughing, running around in a herd, I had a moment of intense, “holy shit, there are so many of them.”

And I think they smelled my fear.

Or at least the parents did because several of them came up to me and another non-parent friend saying, “so did you guys survive that?” or “Does this make you want to hold off in having kids?”

Clearly, they’ve been in our shoes.

Yes, it was a bit terrifying but it was still fun to watch them get excited opening gifts and look a tad confused when everyone sang “Happy Birthday.”

And since more kids parties are in my future, I will be stocking up on the wine. It was a hit.

Making friends has never been easy for me. Whether it was making the wrong friends, getting burned too many times or my own inability to connect with people, it hasn’t been an easy road.

And it doesn’t get easier as you get older or move to big cities. When I moved to Chicago, I knew no one. It took me six months to connect with someone (by accident) and fortunately, a group of friends spawned from that. That friend, and some of that group, are no longer in the picture.

My history, and that experience reminded me that making friendships and connecting with people are things I’ll always struggle with.

I didn’t leave college with a solid, tight group of friends. Maybe it was transferring schools or other things happening at that time, but that didn’t happen. I had friends and people I hung out with, but not deeply connected friends I actively keep in touch with to this day.

Then, I read an article in the New York Times about the evolution of friendships in adulthood and it hit on exactly how I feel about this topic.

For a long time, work has always been my #1 priority. I prioritized that over friendships and a lot of social experiences. My upbringing was focused on job, career, getting financially and professionally established. Friendships were never told to take a back seat, but that inevitably happened. And now that I am financially and professionally stable, I am prioritizing relationships and friendships, something that now I’m catching up on after years out of the game.

And when you don’t play sports, have a boyfriend or kids, connecting is tough. I’ve met a lot of people through blogging, work and random occurrences in the city, but those aren’t your 20-year-old self friendships. Life, work, priorities and other things get in the way, and despite those people in my life, I still find myself alone more than I thought it would. This isn’t a bad thing but again, when catching up on life, it’s a realization.

And even in my desire to connect with people, age, history and time has reminded me to be careful of who I let in. After turning 30, I shifted my priorities of who I want to spend time with. Gone are many of the constantly negative people I used to hang out with and now, I invest in friendships with people I want to spend time with and who are good influences for me.

This isn’t easy and often, takes a LOT of time. But the friendships I have in Chicago, through work, blogging, etc. are those I want to be in my life. And those who show they cannot make our friendship a two-way street, they move to the sidelines.

Starting over with friends or looking for them, is never easy. And putting boundaries on those you have, isn’t either. But it’s a process in finding people meant to be in your life at that particular time.

I’m not a great friend all of the time, but I like to think that to those I am friends with, I’m not too bad to hang out with :)

Happy Sunday everyone!

This was another one of those weekends, which was full of pugs, fresh air, good friends and….adult beverages.

The kind of weekend where I really see first-hand how many wonderful people are in my life and feel so appreciative that they are my friends.

It’s the kind of weekend where I go on a hot date at a coworkers house (photo of my date is below) and get to smother her pugs with attention and love. Yes, like my fur nephew, they hand it out for free.

His name is Chase and he’s so over me already

But after holding a baby and sniffing his head (which his mom was fine with), our sangria turned in to straight Merlot, which turned in to cocktails (then a fishbowl of them) and margaritas, which I blame for me being on the couch Saturday. Moments are fuzzy, but I can remember looking out on the city from the coworker’s deck, feeling the breeze on my face, hearing us laugh and thinking, yeah I’m happy.

It was also one of those weekends where I put aside my awkwardness (or most of it) and assembled a small group of close friends to have dinner on a patio, surrounded by Italian red and white wines, and several laughs at my expense. But looking around that table, seeing them there and talking among one another made me happy because they came out, spent several hours with me at dinner (seriously, service took forever) and then many joined me for a drink or two after, leaving me to walk in at 2 a.m.

So now it’s Sunday, I’m ready to get back in a routine. Let’s do this.

How was your weekend?

Movie Review: Finally saw the movie based off one of my favorite books – The Help