‘gym’ Category

08 May 2014


By: Jessica B.
Tagged: gym

Yes, I’m dedicating a post to farts.

Running is a really hard sport on your body. Your stomach turns in to a cement mixer and god know what will happen to it when you are out on a run. Bodily functions become a loose cannon sometimes and you just don’t know what’s gonna happen.

And no, I’m not talking about explosive #2’s while running, but cropdusting, aka farts.

There is a serious cropdusting issue at my gym lately and it is killing me. Can you die from inhaling too many potent farts at the gym? I don’t know, but I feel like I might be able to test that soon.

I accept that I’m in the line of fart fire when I use the elliptical machines right behind the treadmills in the mornings, but sweet mother of Jesus, you have to hold it in sometimes. I don’t know what these guys are eating the night before (or morning of), but the smell is like curry in a diaper that has been left out in the sun, or something.

I’ve almost gagged a few times, and begged for mercy out loud. I have mixed up where I work out in the line of machines and even tried breathing in to a towel for parts of my workout but the smell, you guys, it finds me.

And my cropdusting etiquette is much better, naturally. I am cognizant of the people around me. I wouldn’t force them to suffer so that I can feel better during my run, but apparently that logic and thought is going right out the window. Seriously, you guys, the smell.

I was tempted to go up and say something to two of the guys who clearly have no self control. Oh and yeah, you know when that’s gonna happen, you can’t say that just slipped out.  NO ONE IS BUYING IT. But alas, did not. Fighting with guys at 6:15am about farting in a public gym, I’m not that crazy.

It needs to keep getting lighter out earlier in the morning because I cannot be in the fart hotbox much longer.

Maybe it’s just me.

24 October 2012

How yoga broke me

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: gym, Random

You may think I’m kidding, but I’m not.

Yoga, the practice of stretching, zen and centering yourself, beat me like I was a punching bag and then kicked me to the curb like a piece of trash.

It was the most humbling 60 minutes I’ve had in a while.

At my old gym, I used to do yoga every Sunday. Sixty minutes of Vinyasa that felt great and was very relaxing. But it was also downtown at 10 am on a Sunday and once I started going out more, 10 am on a Sunday was a big problem.

I do miss yoga but after last night’s class, it reminded me that yoga will not be an easy friend to catch up with.

My buddy Liz invited me to join her for a walk-in class at a local yoga studio and (in an effort to step and mix up my workouts), I said yes. We settled on a Yoga Sculpt class, which is a combo of yoga cycles and free weights, which sounded awesome. I lift weights, I got this!


First, I worked out earlier that day. I wasn’t sore or tired from it but my body had already gotten a tad of a beating first-thing.

Second, the studio was, no lie, sweltering hot. And the kind of hot that isn’t totally Bikram (105 degrees) but not like, comfortable or room temp either. You know it’s bad when you’re sweating 2 minutes after walking in the door and before even changing in to workout clothes.

Within a few minutes of doing my sun salutations and table tops, I was sweating like a whore in church. Literally, sweat was all over me like a fur blanket. Rather than dewey adorable, I looked more like “oh my gosh what’s wrong with her?”

I couldn’t even finish some cycles or balance on the mat because it was soaked in sweat and slippery. SLIPPERY.

By the time the lights went down for a final stretch, I wanted to collapse and weep with joy. And in doing that final stretch, I looked over at my friend Liz, who I have so many memories with, and in seeing each other in this state, we reached out and locked arms (which was difficult given the sweating) because damnit we were in this together.

Then I went home and drank about four glasses of water and put myself to bed.

There are few people I can imagine doing this with and laughing about it. Fortunately, one of those peeps was there :)

Should I give yoga another try?

30 January 2012

Back to gym

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: gym

As much as I like working out, the lazy part of me likes NOT working out more.

Sure, the endorphin rush is awesome, but if I had the option, I would not mind sleeping in and skipping the gym altogether.

Yes, my love/hate relationship with the gym continues!

And as fun as not working out it, I just got a solid reminder of how easy it is to fall off the gym bandwagon.

Between pre-Sundance work, being in Park City and then post-Sundance exhaustion, I have not worked out for two weeks. Naively, I thought it would be easy to jump back in to the routine.

Then I went to the gym yesterday, tried to work out and wanted to crawl home.

I’m not even being slightly dramatic.

Then this morning, I went again and did better, but still was barely getting through my old routine.

Two weeks away felt like two years! It’s amazing how fast you can lose your momentum.

And what’s worse, is getting back in the early morning routine. The alarm goes off at 5:30 am and I want to knock it off the nightstand. But, I slowly get myself up and go, I mean, it has to get easier right?

I know this is only temporary and I’ll be back in the routine again soon but holy cow.

I definitely need to be better about working out while I’m traveling, why is that so difficult?

Do you find it easy to get back in your workout or other routines after being gone for a while?


29 November 2011

Moving to morning workouts

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: gym

There are two types of workout people: morning and evenings. And until recently, I thought the morning people were crazy. Get up early…voluntarily? To…work out? NO WAY.

I prefer to work out at night. I used that time to work off the days stress, clear my head and just relax. But working out at night takes a big commitment too. Home is very alluring when it’s cold outside, you work late, plans come up and suddenly it’s a week since you’ve been the gym. I found myself in that situation all too often and I started to fall behind.

And now that the holidays are coming up and things are busier, I just cannot go after work.

So, two weeks ago, I reset the alarm for 5:30 a.m. (OMG SO UNHOLY OF AN HOUR) and headed to the gym to work out before work.

The first day, it went really well. I was up, out of bed and out the door with a little spring in my step. Day two, yeah the reality set in. I was fussy and really wanted to go back to bed.  But I still made myself go. And turns out, working out in the morning isn’t so bad after all. I mean, it’s not puppies and rainbows, but it’s not awful.

To be honest, I’m not even really awake until that elliptical-induced endorphin kick sets in. Before then, I’m pretty much a zombie. But after? I’m all “good morning!!” and feeling good.

I’m going to try and keep doing morning workouts for now and see how it goes. Let’s just say, some days are better than others. But it’s better than not going at all.

Plus, it’s so dead there, I love the peace and quiet. But, the main downside is that I’m up at 5:30 a.m. and (for now) wanting to go to bed at 8 p.m. Still working on that adjustment, nothing’s perfect.

Are you a morning or evening workout person?

17 October 2011

Detour to Debbie Downer land

By: Jessica B.

Happy Monday everyone!

I consider myself to be a pretty optimistic lady. I’m “glass half full” all the time, but lately I’ve been a bit more of a Debbie Downer.

Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but maybe a little bit of a Wallowing Winnie.

Here’s what’s brought this on:

  • Pink eye. Woke up Thursday morning with it and have never had it before. Now I can’t wear eye makeup or contacts for a week. I’m really not digging for sympathy here, but this has taken a blow to my self esteem. I know I need to be au natural in the eyes but I feel embarrassed to have people see me. It’s tough
  • Elevator. My building elevator has been out for more than five weeks and no one is telling us when it will be fixed. I hope my legs are like steel when it is fixed

But, I’m working through this little turn of bad karma and balancing out the negative with positives, such as:

  • Working out. Even after a long day, I’m forcing myself to go and feeling better after. Great stress reliever
  • Costume planning. Over the next two weekends, I have theme parties that I’m attending and I’ve been really scouring for some fun stuff for my costumes. I love a project :)
  • Red lipstick. I never wear it but in prep for these parties, I treated myself to some, since that’s some of the only makeup I can wear right now. After sampling a few on Saturday, I found one that suits me and seeing my red lips in the store mirrors did make me smile

So that’s why I’ve been a little slow in posting lately. Once I get over this Debbie Downer/Wallowing Winnie hump, I will be back to being me, and being a little more regular in posts.

How is everyone else??