Sure, the endorphin rush is awesome, but if I had the option, I would not mind sleeping in and skipping the gym altogether.

Yes, my love/hate relationship with the gym continues!

And as fun as not working out it, I just got a solid reminder of how easy it is to fall off the gym bandwagon.

Between pre-Sundance work, being in Park City and then post-Sundance exhaustion, I have not worked out for two weeks. Naively, I thought it would be easy to jump back in to the routine.

Then I went to the gym yesterday, tried to work out and wanted to crawl home.

I’m not even being slightly dramatic.

Then this morning, I went again and did better, but still was barely getting through my old routine.

Two weeks away felt like two years! It’s amazing how fast you can lose your momentum.

And what’s worse, is getting back in the early morning routine. The alarm goes off at 5:30 am and I want to knock it off the nightstand. But, I slowly get myself up and go, I mean, it has to get easier right?

I know this is only temporary and I’ll be back in the routine again soon but holy cow.

I definitely need to be better about working out while I’m traveling, why is that so difficult?

Do you find it easy to get back in your workout or other routines after being gone for a while?

I prefer to work out at night. I used that time to work off the days stress, clear my head and just relax. But working out at night takes a big commitment too. Home is very alluring when it’s cold outside, you work late, plans come up and suddenly it’s a week since you’ve been the gym. I found myself in that situation all too often and I started to fall behind.

And now that the holidays are coming up and things are busier, I just cannot go after work.

So, two weeks ago, I reset the alarm for 5:30 a.m. (OMG SO UNHOLY OF AN HOUR) and headed to the gym to work out before work.

The first day, it went really well. I was up, out of bed and out the door with a little spring in my step. Day two, yeah the reality set in. I was fussy and really wanted to go back to bed.  But I still made myself go. And turns out, working out in the morning isn’t so bad after all. I mean, it’s not puppies and rainbows, but it’s not awful.

To be honest, I’m not even really awake until that elliptical-induced endorphin kick sets in. Before then, I’m pretty much a zombie. But after? I’m all “good morning!!” and feeling good.

I’m going to try and keep doing morning workouts for now and see how it goes. Let’s just say, some days are better than others. But it’s better than not going at all.

Plus, it’s so dead there, I love the peace and quiet. But, the main downside is that I’m up at 5:30 a.m. and (for now) wanting to go to bed at 8 p.m. Still working on that adjustment, nothing’s perfect.

Are you a morning or evening workout person?

I consider myself to be a pretty optimistic lady. I’m “glass half full” all the time, but lately I’ve been a bit more of a Debbie Downer.

Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but maybe a little bit of a Wallowing Winnie.

Here’s what’s brought this on:

• Pink eye. Woke up Thursday morning with it and have never had it before. Now I can’t wear eye makeup or contacts for a week. I’m really not digging for sympathy here, but this has taken a blow to my self esteem. I know I need to be au natural in the eyes but I feel embarrassed to have people see me. It’s tough
• Elevator. My building elevator has been out for more than five weeks and no one is telling us when it will be fixed. I hope my legs are like steel when it is fixed

But, I’m working through this little turn of bad karma and balancing out the negative with positives, such as:

• Working out. Even after a long day, I’m forcing myself to go and feeling better after. Great stress reliever
• Costume planning. Over the next two weekends, I have theme parties that I’m attending and I’ve been really scouring for some fun stuff for my costumes. I love a project :)
• Red lipstick. I never wear it but in prep for these parties, I treated myself to some, since that’s some of the only makeup I can wear right now. After sampling a few on Saturday, I found one that suits me and seeing my red lips in the store mirrors did make me smile

So that’s why I’ve been a little slow in posting lately. Once I get over this Debbie Downer/Wallowing Winnie hump, I will be back to being me, and being a little more regular in posts.

How is everyone else??

Well, that rug got pulled out from under me yesterday.

Why? My gym broke up with me. Well, actually, it’s more like my gym closed because the electric was shut off due to them not paying the bills for a few months (to the tune of $200k).

Yeah, I was dating a gym that had money issues. SO UNLIKE ME.

My friend told me about the news and sadly, due to my trust issues, I didn’t believe him, so I ran next door to see it myself and yep, gym was closed, “until further notice.”

Turns out, further notice is likely forever, so I’m back on the gym market and I have no idea what to do. I’ve been dating my gym for more than five years! We were, like committed.

And now I’m getting back out there, visiting other gyms, hearing what they have to say and trying to decide where I want to go. But in the meantime, I’m getting outside to walk and exercise, even if I’m not burning as many calories as I was before. And it’s been kind of nice, especially after sitting in an office all day.

I just hate auditioning gyms and now mixing up the routine I had before. I know, it’s dumb, but it’s just a change. And hopefully, by this weekend, I will have a new place to work out.

Yeah I’m totally looking at this like my own episode of the Bachelor. Another gym mini date is tomorrow!

Are you good with breaking up with gyms, stylists, etc.?

Depending on the type of day I have, I find release in the following things:

• Coffee cake in the dark with the TV on
• Getting on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes (and working it like it’s my b*tch)
• Long walk (ANTM strut optional)
• Blasting music and having a dance party in my apartment (screw the neighbors)
• Laying like a beached whale on my couch, zoning out to reality TV (brain goes on vacation and no coffee cake)
• Watching a movie and having a good laugh or cry

Yes, some days, I do many of them in the course of one evening.

Lately, in my effort to not be plumpy anymore, I have been finding release in the walks, dance party and, of course, the elliptical machine. Getting the blood pumping, heart racing and just work out everything that’s bothering you.

That’s one of my favorite things about working out in general, is that endorphine/adrenaline kick that makes you want to scream, “F*CK YES, LET’S GO KICK SOME A**!!!!!” And that’s not steroid-inspired either.

And as much as I complain about going to the gym after work and really want to indulge in laying on my couch like a sea lion, I always feel better when I’m done. Maybe not great, or completely free of the days down turns, but better.

Tonight was one of those nights where I was BBM’ing with my high school best friend about stuff on my mind when I decided to skip the gym because it was too late and I was too tired. But, seeing my gym bag sitting on my chair, challenging me to 30 minutes of cardio, I succumbed to it (mostly because I won’t be at the gym the next two nights) and had, well, an awesome mini-workout.

With sweat dripping down my face and my heart racing, I walked out of there with a small smile on my face and came home and indulged myself in a little couch lounge time. It’s all about balance!

What about you? How do you unwind after a good/bad/long/exhausting day?

Chicago had its first taste of spring weather, which meant I was out getting fresh air and checking out the stores for cute new spring clothes.

Enter reality check number one. Old Navy was having a big sale on skirts and dresses, both of which are my spring wardrobe staples so I was ready to stock up.

But after a long winter, trying on spring clothes shopping can be a…harsh wake up call.

And the reality check I was written said: get back in shape.

Sure, you can say Old Navy’s clothes are cheap and that styles fit differently, but seeing my fat a** in a piece of jersey was a self-esteem deflator.

So I only bought one of the dresses that fit but was slightly snug and am now using it as my inspiration to get back in a routine at the gym.

This brought me to reality check number two.

I used to go to a bootcamp class regularly at the gym but lately haven’t been able to because of a busy work schedule. But hey, I still go to the gym regularly, it’s a piece of cake!

WRONG. FAIL.

I was down on the ground and I couldn’t get up.

The level of pain I felt was insane. As I laid on the ground, legs and arms aching, I thought, “please God take me now.”

And to add to the misery, there was a “woo” girl in the class, screaming “WOOO I LOVE IT!” Seriously, I wanted to punch her in the face.

But hey, I made it and (hopefully) it’ll get easier again with time. And that dress is going to be good motivation.

Has it started to be spring by you? What are you looking forward to this spring?

Review blog update: It’s not a “formal” review but I took part in an Oscar pool, check out how I did :)

Yeah it’s Valentine’s Day.

I should hate it because I’m single, but really, I don’t. I know, I talk a good game about hating Valentine’s Day but really, I don’t loathe it.

What I do hate is the connotation that Valentine’s Day only applies to you if you’re in a relationship. I think it should be more about love overall. Love for friends, family AND significant other. Why can’t it just be like that?

But since relationships are the most important thing on this sweet/depressing day, I decided to take my #1 person in my life out for a day. That’s right, I’m single, so I celebrate my awesomeness independently and treated myself to a day downtown.

Actually, it’s been more of a “treat weekend.”

Friday was striptease at the gym, where I got a reminder I always need to see (along with a few hefty glasses of wine).

Trust me, after two glasses of wine, I am LOVING my body :)

We also got to make up stripper names. Yes, that sticker is on my boob too.

Saturday was haircut, movie and dinner at Noodles & Company (YUM).

Sassy! Seriously, I need to just commit to full bangs at this point.

And for the big day today, I went to yoga, brunch at Eleaven (they had a donut buffet for free!), shopping at Banana, another movie, Berry Chill and then home to close the day with more movies and a group date with Russell Stover and Whitman Sampler. Oh yeahhhh.

So that’s what I did this weekend, relax, go see movies and treat myself whenever I wanted. After a rough few weeks and a busy one coming up, I decided to take it easy and make sure one of the most important people in my life, me, didn’t feel left out on Valentine’s Day.

And I highly recommend everyone else does the same, single or married. Do something fun for yourself and if you have one, your significant other. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, but take that time out to recognize all the people you love in your life and don’t forget about yourself. Ever :)

What about everyone else, did you do anything fun for Valentine’s Day or during this weekend? Do you love or hate this love-infected holiday?

Heart-themed movie review: That’s right, I went and saw Valentine’s Day, original, I know.

But when I go to the gym, I LOVE to sweat. I love the endorphin kick and burst of energy that makes you want to solider through your torturous workout and work twice as hard at it.

And when I started taking classes at the gym, I felt that way too, but lately I haven’t. It was time to challenge myself and mix it up again. I love yoga and Pilates but sometimes, I need to just be active and physical in my workout.

So tonight, I balled up and took my first spinning class instead of striptease.

Why? I wasn’t in the mood to dry hump a fake pole or run my hands in a caressing way over my boobs, I wanted DO something.

And that bike beat me like a stepchild.

OMG the pain. The pain in my a** and lady bits. THE PAIN.

But I survived. I pedaled on that bike for 50 minutes (allowing 10 minutes here/there to rest) and I was sweating like crazy. Sweat was running down and dripping off my face, back, arms, legs, nose and chest. I could have wrung out my gym clothes after.

And when the lightheadedness faded away and I regained the ability to stand on my own, I felt…awesome.

Sure, I couldn’t do all the stands and jumps, but I finished.

I’m still a little intimidated to go back but I might. I love a challenge and this might be it for now. Plus, that sweat felt great while it was happening.

So what about you? Do you like a really aggressive workout or something more relaxed. Or have you done spinning? Please tell me this gets easier!

1. It had to get up to an alarm and shower
2. It didn’t get to eat junk food all day

Since I work up today, I rotated between feeling like a bear waking from hibernation and a baby getting fussy that it wasn’t being fed on its regular schedule.

Normally, I’m pretty quick and have a good memory but today, everything seemed to take longer to process, including simple math (yes, addition and subtraction, it’s tough).

Someone asked me a question and I stared at them blankly for about a minute before actually answering the question.

I also had trouble training my body to like a regimented diet of daily healthy brown-bagged lunches. I had candy-craving pains ALL DAY and then when I wouldn’t feed my stomach candy, she just wanted salty food. WTF stomach?

And lying to myself that carrots were just as good as candy or chips was a total crock. I anticipate a few more days of fussy b*tchy food cravings and then I’ll be back on track.

Even the gym was tough, which I’ll blame partially on this cold because it’s sucking away my will to live. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and nearly fell off of it gasping for air. An elderly woman next to me made her machine her b*tch, which was ridiculously embarrassing.

But, I only had two small pieces of candy today (my stomach would NOT take no for an answer) and still made it to the gym after leaving work late. So that’s a plus for me!

Now I’m having mixed greens, walnuts, cranberries, raisins, balsamic, chicken and goat cheese salad for dinner. Let’s just hope tomorrow is better.

How about you? How was your first day back at work or the gym? Did you find it tough to get back in your daily routine?

Vote for me! That’s right, this little blog was nominated for an 20sb award! So help me bring home the bacon and share it with all of you. Vote for me here!

I wasn’t expecting a major weight change, but something. One pound, maybe two, just a little something to validate my hard work.

So I walk in, take the shoes and sweatshirt off (in case lead bricks magically were in them) and I step on the scale, almost anxious to see the result.

And then I did.

No change in weight, in fact, I gained one pound.

As expected, it took two seconds for me to get upset and start to cry.

One f*cking pound. One motherf*cking pound GAINED.

I wanted to rip the scale’s screen off the wall and break it into a million pieces.

When my doctor came in, wondering why I was visibly upset, I told her that I was disappointed in my weigh-in, that I was taking this very seriously and said that I’m logging my calories, mixing up my gym routine, cutting back on drinking, watching portion control. I felt like that one pound was mocking me and telling me I was going to fail.

Shocked by my reaction, she tried to reassure me, “It’s only been three weeks…don’t take it personally…you’re about to start your cycle, I’m sure it’s water retention…it will take time.”

TIME? I KNOW IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT I WANT SOME KIND OF SIGN NOW.

Losing weight just sucks.

It sucks when you have to cut back, it sucks when you look at food sometimes as the enemy and kill yourself to go to the gym and have nothing to show for it. And retaining water f*cking sucks too.

Sure, I do feel leaner and I think my clothes are fitting better, but when you need some kind of validation and don’t get it, you slide into a shame spiral.

Which is exactly what I did. I left her office sad and rather than crying on the couch (like last time), I drank beer, ate frosting, M&Ms, cupcakes, fries and tater tots.

And no, I didn’t feel better afterward and that gross feeling on top of being exhausted lead to a poor showing at yoga on Sunday when I could barely support my own weight on my T-rex-like arms.

Thus, the vicious cycle continues. So I’m trying to rally back and stay motivated.

Thanksgiving will be a challenge though.

I had a hard time deciding if I should post this or not, but I was so upset and frustrated that I had to get it out there.

So how do you stay motivated when you exercise or try to eat healthy?

Oh that’s right, the pain train has left the station, woo woo! Woo woo!

So here’s what I’ve done to date:

• Started logging my food again (a PITA)

• Try new gym classes

• Avoid going right back to the elliptical machine

Let’s take a closer look.

Logging food:

I won’t lie, I really hate doing this, but I know it’s necessary. It’s tedious and often finding the right food to log and calculating the right amount can take some time. But so far it’s kept me on track calorie-wise and helping me make better choices. Plus, my inheritantly lazy nature often keeps me from snacking because I don’t want to log it. Wow that sounded sad.

And despite one slip with Texas chocolate sheet cake at work today (I really couldn’t help myself), I’ve stayed in my calorie ranges. I haven’t seen a lot of results yet, but I feel leaner and I know if I stick with it, I’ll start losing the weight slowly again. Goal is to drop what I’ve put on by February.

New gym classes:

This has been fun and PAINFUL at the same time. So far I’ve tried a variety of things: yoga, Pilates, dance class, extreme athletic conditioning and cardio cross training and its been intereting.

I’ve also learned the following things:

• I am Pilates-challenged. Holding your neck up and keeping you legs at a 45 degree angle with your feet in a Pilates “V” = insanely difficult

• I like high energy cardio classes, but the first time I took one, I could not move my arms, sit down, bend over or wash my hair without being in excruciating pain. And I plan to go back for more

• I am ridiculously uncoordinated, but in dance class, I can shake my moneymaker!

• A 5lb and 8lb weight and cause more muscle pain than anything 20lbs or above

• I need to learn basic yoga poses before going into classes, I easily look like I don’t know what I’m doing

• When several people refer to your teacher as “the devil,” that is not a good sign

The adjustment has been difficult but I like mixing up the classes and next on my list: SPIN!

NO MERCY!

And finally, I only went back to the old gym routine once this week because I got out of work late and missed all the classes. Seriously, 5:30 p.m. classes suck a**. Some of us have full-time jobs and can’t make it there and be changed by then! Geez.

So the adjustment is still in process, but I think things are on the right track. And eventually all parts of my body will stop hurting when I work out and do the classes. I cannot wait for that day!

Question for tonight: How do you like to stay active? Do you like high energy classes or more calm-natured classes like Pilates or yoga? How sore have you ever been after a serious class?

My compliment for today: First, you guys were sweet to leave me some on the last post so I thought I’d share what I told myself today as part of my experiment. I said, “Jess you really kicked some a** dancing to Single Ladies at the gym tonight. Nice job, now put a ring on it an ring on it and go home.”

Motivational speaking at its best.

I am a product of routine. When I find something I like, I stick with it, including when I work out. I go to the gym, do 30 minutes on the elliptical machine and 30 minutes of free weights. But after awhile of doing this, it’s more like S-N-O-R-E.

And the motivation to go to the gym and do the machines/weights has been a little tedious lately too. Sure, it could be the seasonal change, but I think my mind needs to shake it up a bit because I feel sometimes like I’m just going through the motions when I go to the gym.

So why do I stick with this routine? Because I know what to expect from it. I know that I can burn X number of calories and that I will keep my arms toned. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Lately I don’t leave the gym feeling like “hell yes I worked out and now I want to kick some a** and wrestle a baby cougar with my huge arms!” But that feeling is awesome when I do.

In the summer, I’ll get out and walk around more, including power walks by the lake, but once it becomes winter, that’s out, so I need to keep challenging myself somehow.

So that’s where you guys come in, I’m wondering what you do to mix up your workout routine or what helps you stay motivated when you go, even if you do the same stuff regularly.

Classes are available at my gym, but many start at 5:30, which is often impossible for me to make in time and I hate being at the gym really late to take the later evening classes. Tough spot, I know. So picky.

Awhile ago, I bought the Jillian Michaels Shred and I want to give that a try (especially once it snows and going out is limited even more) but I’m not really a workout video kind of girl so I’m torn.

However, look at her face. She looks (in her eyes) like she WANTS to kick my a** into shape. I think I want that challenge (and those results).

So let me know if you Shred, if you like it, if it’s worth it to get started and how you mix up your workout routine. I’m super curious to hear your feedback so I can get started!

Oh and you can still read about how I paid to rub volcanic ash all over my face over here. Solid.

Problem with that part is that I’m not really a regular “lottery player” or gambler. I have no idea how to play slots (shocking but true) and don’t buy weekly lottery tickets.

But I will walk to a gas station and buy a lottery ticket when there is a huge jackpot because, why not? Sure, my odds of being struck by lightening are better than winning, but it’s fun. The Mega Millions jackpot was $330 million or something so Friday night I went to a gas station and bought three tickets.

And while I didn’t win (and have been at work all week), I always let myself daydream a little bit about what would happen if I did win. It was a hot topic one day at lunch too.

So here is what I would do with $330 million (or whatever I get after taxes):

• Buy my parents house and give them a lump sum of money to cover property taxes for the next 20 years
• Let my dad retire and say “f*ck it” to his job
• Buy myself a SWEET condo (lots of room to walk around naked)
• Work freelance and go back to school for my MBA
• Donate a lot of my clothes and replace them with beautiful things from JCrew, Anthropologie and Nordstrom
• Two words: Chanel quilted
• Donate money to local charities
• Volunteer more
• Stalk Oprah.com to get tickets to a taping (since I won’t have to work)
• Get a car, or two (and a parking spot)
• Send my parents to Europe (and get some nice non-addictive, Michael Jackson sleeping pills for dad to help him not go crazy on that flight)
• Travel (hi five-star hotels around the world) and take my closest friends on a nice trip
• Buy a real pony (not that I don’t love my birthday ones, but you know, get a real, live one to love forever)
• Get a dog (and pay someone to train him, kidding?)
• Have fresh cut flowers in my house weekly (I LOVE fresh flowers)
• Go to LA and stalk John Kraskinski (kidding?)
• Get a personal trainer and get my fat a** back in shape
• Hire a cleaning lady (I’ll be honest, I’m lazy and hate scrubbing floors)

As you can see, some are more realistic than others. And it seems I’ve put more thought into this than I imagined :)

What would you do if you won the lottery? Feel free to shoot for the stars (and get creative too!)

Edit: I also meant to add about getting a condo that I’ll have room for Alexa to come live in my “room of awesome” :) FORGIVE ME Alexa!

While Jess is away basking in the sun on vacation, I’m stuck here in Chicago.

With my stalker.

My FEMALE stalker.

What makes this even more unusual could be one of two things:

• She is completely unaware to the fact I consider her my stalker or
• She thinks I am stalking her

Let me back up a few months- I first encountered this woman at my gym when I hit her with a dumbbell. First of all, TOTALLY not my fault. She wasn’t paying attention and walked too close to me when I was doing this exercise with my trainer. Whatever, she should’ve been paying attention! I made sure to give her a death stare to let her know it was her fault I hit her and went about my business.

From that day on, I started noticing her around the gym more. My trainer started referring to her as my BFF since she was ALWAYS there at the same time I was.

But then it just started to get creepy.

I started noticing her nearly everywhere I went. I say nearly because I have yet to run into her at Jewel or in my apartment building. The places I’ve run into her include:

• At the gym
• On the bus, which wouldn’t be so creepy except she was waiting at the bus stop by my office and then got on the same bus as me. And then sat pretty freaking close
• At church, where she proceeds to sit in the same section, two or so rows behind me
• Walking around the street
• In my office!! (don’t worry, I’m getting to that)

So without going into too much detail because of the nature of my job here’s a summary:

I get a phone call to set up an appointment. I have to get certain information from people in order to schedule them, including an address. The person I’m speaking with happens to live in the building next to me, which I delightfully proclaim “oh cool, I live next door to you!” So anyway, guess who strolls into my office for their appointment? Yep. Her. Except now I know where she lives and she knows where I live. Not only that, I found out she also works in the same building as me. awkward.

I can’t escape this woman; so far this week I rode the elevator with her at work monday and was in the gym locker room with her yesterday.

So, what do you think? Is it all just a (very strange) coincidence? Is she stalking me? Could she be thinking I’m stalking her? Or are we (as my coworker believes) destined to be friends, since I know as much about her as some of my friends? Or am I just completely insane*?

*don’t answer that. we all know the answer to that question is YES.

Everyday Adventures note: Um, yes, I have the same thing. Mine is a co-worker though and I always see her at the gym or around my house. You are my twin :)

Giveaway note: You can still enter the Gap jeans giveaway on my review blog! Free jeans? What? Giveaway closes Friday!