‘Random’ Category

09 March 2014

Updates!

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

Hello everyone! Yes, it’s been a little bit again since I updated here, but, well, things have been busy.

And they’re still busy, so I wanted to take a few minutes to check in here and post a few updates because it’s March! What? How did that happen?

  1. I GOT PROMOTED AT WORK. Yes, in case you don’t follow me on Facebook or Twitter, it’s true. I am officially a Vice President. I opted not to tell a lot of people about the news, probably because it still doesn’t feel real. But it is, and hopefully will keep being as exciting as it feels now
  2. First race of 2014 is in three weeks! I’m running the Shamrock Shuffle 8K in Chicago. First time doing that race and I feel pretty ready. Just hoping it’s warmer out and/or no snow on the ground this time
  3. So, the good news with my promotion is that I get more vacation days! But, that means I have A LOT to use in a short amount of time so….to celebrate the promotion I am hitting the road and visiting Paris, Bordeaux and Amsterdam. I went to Paris about two years ago and just loved it. And I’m excited to go back (and of course, indulge in French food and wine)
  4. Unrelated, I am OVER winter. Seriously, I need this to just end. Hopefully now that we’ve moved the clocks forward, that will help
  5. I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE!!! We find out before the end of the month if I will have a niece or nephew. And I cannot wait. Once I know the sex, it’ll be SHOPPING TIME. I’m at an 11, I am so excited
  6. Finally, I am addicted to Redbox. Thanks to winter and the cold, I have been hibernating a bit more and catching up on movies I’ve missed, such as: Don Jon, Captain Phillips, Spectacular Now and Dallas Buyers Club. Some have been better than others, but for $1.20 each, no complaints here

How are you guys? What’s new with you?!

27 January 2014

What you deserve

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

Disclaimer: I’m talking about feelings in this one.

As part of the new year, I’ve been thinking about my goals and changes I want to make to keep me on the good path that I’ve set forth for myself. This means addressing my issues, dealing with my depression and trying to find out who the real JB is and what she wants.

And one topic that’s come up in this journey has been about what I deserve, and what I want.

I’m not a selfish person. I give. I love deeply, feel intensely and dream big. But, when it comes to thinking about me and what I want, I am a little stinted in my growth.

Growing up, I spent so much time worried about others. What they thought, how they felt and how I could keep them close. Sometimes, that meant being loyal to or loving those who didn’t deserve it, or didn’t give back. And I took what I could because it was better than nothing.

But now, what I’ve been seeing on my road to wherever it takes me, is that those relationships only gave me crumbs of love, affection and friendship. And while that can be temporary, sometimes, that’s just who people are. And knowing how I feel and love and care, they take, rather than offer a shred of what I do back to me.

So I’m settling for crumbs when I deserve so much more.

I deserve someone who loves me for me. And I deserve friends who are really there for me and reciprocate friendship. I don’t want the fade in and out, I want someone who is there and present.

And in evaluating some relationships in my life, that means cutting some people loose. One of which, is bittersweet. It took a lot of thinking and counsel from my closest friends to put myself first and what is best for me. They reminded me that there is so much to love about me and that I deserve that, in addition to want that myself.

So I said goodbye to someone I loved a long time ago but only got crumbs from after. And a certain point, I just had to stop.

Because for the first time in a LONG time, I love me more. And I deserve more.

Realizing what you deserve is liberating, but cutting those loose who don’t align with it, is harder. But only for now.

 

 

20 January 2014

Golden Globes Fashion Recap (very late)

By: Jessica B.

Eeek yes this is a week late but, things have been a little crazy IRL. But not in a bad way (shockingly).

So the Golden Globes were last week and I had red wine, smores and pizza ready to go. It’s like treat yo self, award ceremony style.

You guys know me well enough to know I love award shows so let’s dive in! (Photos can be found at Mashable, The Wrap and Gossip Center).

My Favorites

Lupita Nyong’o – FLAWLESS from head to toe. Stunning shade of red, perfect fit and perfect minimalist jewelry. Amazing.

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Margot Robbie – First, I’ve seen her naked in Wolf of Wall Street so I feel like since we’re intimate buddies, she gets a pass. Plus I love the jewels on the dress

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Cate Blanchett – Always taking risks and the frothy, light nature of the dress just was stunning

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Olivia Wilde – Kerry needs to take note because this is pregnancy awards wear done right

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Julianna Margulies – Love the simple gold detail on this dress. Plus she made fun of Seacrest for bitching about the 50 degree weather in LA. Love you girl!

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Needs Improvement

Kerry Washington – Drab, boring and the worst half-vest. Olivia Pope would be disappointed (and wearing opera length gloves)

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Jennifer Lawrence – I still want to be her BFF but this is just boring. I could recreate it with a sheet and two large black bands and/or bungee cords

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Zoe Saldana – Just because a designer calls and says this dress is for you, doesn’t mean you should wear it. Also, to quote Gloria, “it’s like the scraps from a sale bin.” Truth

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Lena Dunham – Great color, bad fit and her boobs are begging to be flopping around like they do on Girls. Just..no

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Paula Patton – This is just too easy. But, I can’t decide if it’s a gill or a sperm. Both are valid options. That said, she’s still married to Robin Thicke so maybe that thing is a “fuck you” to all of us

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals

Honorable fashion high fives go to Emma Watson in pants and Julia Roberts making menswear meets red carpet.

And, Amy and Tina yet again killed it. Too bad that out of a 3 hour show (okay, 2 hours 15 minutes with commercials), Amy and Tina were ONLY on for 16 minutes. Such a waste!

Anyhow, hope you guys enjoyed the show too.

 

 

 

 

06 January 2014

New Years Do Over

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

In case you haven’t heard, the weather in the Midwest has been pretty crazy over the last two weeks. Warm! Snow! More snow! Then FREEZING TEMPS! Basically it’s like an extreme weather disaster movie around here, or it feels like we’re being set up for one.

So with that, I’m filing an application to get a “do over” on 2014.

I set pretty loose but direct goals for 2014, things I want to do to better myself professionally, personally and perhaps romantically, and while we’re only six days in to the new year, it’s gotten off to a little bit of a bumpy start.

This insane weather has kept me holed up in my apartment for several days (yes, some working), but that’s way too much time to keep someone like me indoors and limited in activities.

That means, when I get bored and/or need a break from Sons of Anarchy episodes, I tend to think and obsess about stuff. It’s a bad habit. And the last few days of living in my head and marinating myself in feelings have made me go absolutely crazy, and set me back a bit in some of my 2014 goals.

Now, tomorrow is supposed to be -34 with the wind chill in the morning, but I’m basically forcing myself to go to work (when we could work from home) because a) I cannot stop snacking b) I NEED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE and c) I cannot be in my house anymore. Even with a cute work station set up and dedicated couch-time lunch break, I need to get back in to a routine after a rough holiday season and start to feel like me again.

So, if you see me out and about tomorrow bundled in a scene not too unlike this from A Christmas Story, and dancing around to keep blood flowing, just beep and wave hi, I’m good.

Let’s start 2014 again shall we?

01 January 2014

2014

By: Jessica B.
Tagged: Random

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and celebration last night (in whatever form you like).

Last New Years Day, I wrote a post titled 2013, which was painful, but needed. Today, I re-read that post, cried and wanted to hug the woman I was then because I see now how broken and unhappy she was. How badly she needed to make changes in her life, and was holding on to hope that she could do it because if not, I don’t know what would have happened to her.

Fast forward one year later, and also in re-reading that post, I see how far I’ve come since then.

2013 was all about change and fortunately, that happened, but still with some low points (and high ones too!)

Highs: Running, completing two 5Ks, an 8K and 10K, Spain, Germany and Ireland, getting a new assignment at work that has been really positive so far

Lows: Running-related injuries that were painful (and expensive), some work items and depression, which I finally talked about here.

And unfortunately, that depression (although not as bad as it was a year ago), has woven itself through some of those highs, rattling my cage a bit and testing the strength I was trying to re-develop. And sometimes, it still does rattle me, but I have ways that I’m proactively addressing it, instead of letting it knock me down and threaten to swallow me whole again.

After sharing here what happened more than a year ago, I got an email from a friend, who said, that in recovering from depression, the pieces of who you were never fully fit back together again.

That is true. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My theme last year was to “get back to me.” Well, I can’t fully get back to the way I was because you never really are the same anymore. So rather than focus on “feeling like me,” I’ve started with feeling….okay.

And right now, I am. I feel content, happy, challenged, healthy (minus the two giant cinnamon rolls I just ate) and strong. Sure, I still have days of being sad, or frustrated, but I have other things in my life now that help me refocus. It’s not always perfect, but it’s something.

So 2014 is all about continuing those changes and continuing to be true to me and what I want.

Happy 2014!!!