Happy Tuesday everyone!

Being a single lady, I read a lot of articles about dating, relationships, being single, etc. Not because I’m looking for tips but because I’m curious how people write about them. Some of them are pretty dead on, others, not.

And then I found one on Facebook from Thought Catalog that was a mix of both. So, Arielle and I decided to make it the subject of our next installment of Single Girl Confidential.

So, the article was called “20 Things Single People Hate” and I wanted to highlight a few that really caught my attention.

Being reminded you are single or told that, for any reason, your lack of being romantically attached to anyone makes you a less desirable or fit human being. (#1)

I’ve never had someone SAY this to me, but yeah, it’s been pretty well implied. Granted, in most cases it was from people of another generation, who were married at 23 or already having a family then. But it still bothers me because, there is nothing wrong with being single. And you don’t need a reason why. You are you and you are just as fabulous without someone as you would be with.

Those moments where everyone else is sleeping with someone but you. This is why God invented Double-Stuff Oreos. You need the extra love. (#13)

Uh, welcome to my fall 2012. Except my comfort wasn’t Double-Stuff Oreos, it was…well, hmm, anything else that I could stuff in my mouth (TWSS). Even if I’m finding comfort in food while making my friends tell me about all the sex they’re having, I’m still happy for them. And some REALLY like to share, so, yeah it’s a little lady porn for me too.

Having people equate relationships with happiness. (#18)

I think I need to make a bumper sticker that says, “single people are happy!” Seriously, whomever thinks that you can only be happy if you’re in a relationship, needs to be hit with a tack hammer. Here’s a shock, I am happy! Not every day or every hour, but I am and being solo or just with friends makes me happy too. Trust me, I’ve seen many miserable couples. No thank you.

One person cannot complete you. The only person who completes you is you. (#14)

Y-E-S. This is very similar to what I listed above, but it’s so true. You cannot be happy with someone else until you can be happy on your own. And if that person doesn’t show up, you need to be able to love and complete yourself. You don’t need someone to complete you, they should fit with you and compliment who you are now.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Single Girl Confidential signing off for now.

Woot woot, Single Girl Confidential is back again with its first entry of 2013!! You know the drill, Arielle is over here, blogging with her perspective of today’s topic, which is the Dream Man evolution.

When I was 22 or 23, I knew exactly what my Dream Man looked like. Tall, dark, handsome, funny, not married, not too many past girlfriends or emotional baggage, at least 5′ 4″, good teeth, doesn’t bite his nails, nice eyes, nice arms, good person, etc. I’m sure there were more criteria but I cannot think of the rest right now.

And I’m pretty sure, if a guy didn’t meet most of that list, I wouldn’t go out with him because it was a waste of time. There was no way he was for me.

Well, that approach didn’t work out so well and now that I’m older, a little more seasoned and more mature, I realized when Arielle and I were talking about posts for this series, how much my idea of a Dream Man evolved.

I’m not sure why in my 20s I was so focus on specific and very detailed attributes of guys that I wanted to date. Maybe because I thought I was young enough and had plenty of time to meet Mr. Right, so why not be a little selective.

And now that I’m older, my Dream Man has evolved because after dating more, I realized what’s important. It’s not always just the nit picky superficial things, it’s the person as a whole. I may have a “type” but found that dating guys outside of it, was a better fit, even if those relationships didn’t work out.

And rather than put myself in a box of “this is the only guy you’re attracted to,” it’s good to let that evolve based on the good guys you meet and date rather than try to retrofit one in to the guy you think you want.

So now I’m more open to what my Dream Man could be, but yes, there still is a few criteria for him (in no particular order):

• Financially stable
• Treats me nicely
• Loves me for me
• Has goals and dreams for his future

I don’t think that’s too much to ask right?

Single Girl Confidential signing off for now.

This weekend while talking to a friend from out of town, we got on the subject of relationships and how you know if you’re in love.

I may be bad at relationships but I am good with advice.

And what I told her is this: there is no one way you know. You just….do. And how you know comes in many forms, from a lightening bolt to slow realization to it feeling like it’s second nature.

When I was in love, I was fortunate enough to have a lightening bolt-like realization. I just knew. And while it hurt like hell when it stopped, I remember that clear distinction that the guy I was seeing changed in to the guy I loved.

And this lightening bolt realization has come with friends too. There is a small handful of people I’ve felt an immediate click with, knowing I had to get to know them because somehow, they’ll be important to me, even if they leave my life down the road.

And hearing my friend unsure how to express if she had a similar situation, I gave one more piece of advice, which I also gave to someone else years ago.

In my opinion, knowing if you love someone isn’t always about one moment. But maybe it’s about the sum of those parts. It’s realizing that while this guy may not be the best lover or funniest guy you’ve dated, that he makes you feel complete more than anyone else has. You can’t wait to see them or tell them something and you always think of them when you have news to share.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Have you ever just “known” or had a connection with someone?