Everyday Adventures (of Me in the City) -- Chicago, IL » wedding

Wedding fantasy vs reality

Jessica B. — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:40:32 +0000

I am a huge Jim and Pam fan on The Office. Okay, cute Jim/Pam moments are half of the reason why I watch that show. Alright, a small percentage of that cuteness is also my borderline stalkerish love of John K.

Moving on, last week I watched the big Jim/Pam wedding episode (and the trailers obsessively) and cried, swooned and felt excessively happy. I mean, really, it was just too cute for words.

And it got me thinking about my wedding fantasy and reality. Yeah I know, talking about my wedding when I’m not even dating, that’s healthy and makes SO much sense :) So here we go!

Fantasy 1: Black-tie affair with flowers, soft lighting and everyone looking dapper in their best dress

Reality 1: My family isn’t very formal. Khaki’s are “dressed up” for us, so I am willing to bet that “black tie” is not something in their closet.

Fantasy 2: Garden wedding, with seersucker, pastels, foliage everywhere and a comfortable, natural setting

Reality 2: I hate bugs, fear bees more than rats and it makes the wedding really weather-dependent. And I’m not the kind of girl who likes 50/50 odds on my weather forecast.

And, I love the women in my family, but they are a little…vocal…and opinionated, which made me realize too that the wedding ideas would likely go through rounds of negotiation with me likely not being the winner at the end.

But then I watch The Office and see Jim/Pam run off and get married (unofficially) on at boat in front of Niagara Falls and I swoon and think, wow, that is really intimate and romantic. As much as I want my family there when the big event does happen, the idea of running off and it being just me and Mr. Jess, that seems pretty perfect too, in fantasy and I’m sure reality.

So what about you? Do you want a big, formal wedding or do you favor running off and having a huge party after? Or if you are married, did your wedding day turn out just as you wanted it or did you ever consider eloping?

College memories and wedding awkwardness

Jessica B. — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 01:37:59 +0000

I have fond memories of college. Before I moved to Minnesota for two years, I went to a small liberal arts school in Wisconsin. The kind of school where everyone knows your business and you can run out of guys easily to make out with at drunken frat parties. Oh frat parties, how I miss you. Jungle juice on a Saturday night while making bad decisions with the new recruits and dancing on at the bar. Oh memories. I still have a small scar on my knee from one bad bar dancing night.

But along with fooling around with half the guys in my German class, I made platonic, non-make out friends too, that I’ve stayed in touch with since I left Wisconsin for Minnesota. And this weekend, two of them got married!

So I went to Madison for the wedding, in my cutest summer sundress and giving my liver a pep talk that there was going to be a SH*T TON of liquor in it that night. Oh but wait, I was driving home, so I settled for 1.5 Miller Lites, which still got me buzzed. Sad.

And while there were some up and down moments, I had a nice time. I know, my tweets from Saturday night probably painted a different picture, but it did end up okay. I was bold and went to the wedding alone and found that some of the college friends who said they were coming didn’t make it, so it was tough to talk to people I did know but haven’t seen in seven years. I’m outgoing but somehow clammed up like, well a clam. And there seating was unassigned at the reception so when I went up to several tables, I was told seats were “reserved,” causing me to sit at the “who are they” table. That was uncomfortable. No assigned seats? I’ve never had that happen and I felt like I was right back in high school.

My college nemesis was there too and I won’t lie, I think she was shocked to see me. I don’t want to be too petty and say mean things about her and stuff that was done years ago, but I will say this: time was much more kind to me :) Karma is a b*tch.

But after a faux “oh my gosh how are you” hug and air kiss at the ceremony, we really didn’t talk at all, except I saw fingers being pointed at me from across the room and people whispering. Yes, that’s comforting too.

So I did catch up with a few friends later at the reception (everyone’s married! OMG) and went home happy that at least the experience ended well. Oh and watching four hot guys sing a cappella in a boy band-like fashion while tipsy on Miller Lite was fun too. Yeah the “college me” would have hooked up with three of them, fortunately I was not tipsy enough to begin spanking. That would have been awkward.

How was everyone else’s weekend? Are you outgoing in social situations like weddings or parties where you don’t know many people? I usually am at parties but somehow, I just get very awkward at weddings!

Talkin’ about love

Jessica B. — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:00:00 +0000

That’s right, today I’m talking about love. And dishing my thoughts and advice on it. I know, I’m so unqualified for it, but it’s for a good reason.

My Vegas/Chicago/blog buddy Renee is getting marwied (said in Princess Bride tone) in a few short weeks and several of us are throwing her a virtual bridal shower.

Which means I get to impart to Renee on this blog two things: my congratulations and some love/wedding-related thoughts.

So I thought I would post about what NOT to have at your wedding, staying on the Princess Bride theme. Because really, that is the best example of how not to have your wedding, minus the castle.

Here we go:

Make sure you marry someone you love (no brainer, although that prince title is attractive) and that that person isn’t trying to torture your true love to death (the forest is very scary)
Have an officiant who can speak proper English (marwiage is what bwings us togewher today – hilarious)
No dueling at the reception (although it can be very hot)
Do not get married under the pressure that your true love will be storming the castle with his merry me to save you (that is so much pressure)
Have an awesome dress (I’m sure this is already secured!)
Ride off into the sunset with one helluva kiss

So Renee, I’m sorry I don’t have the best marriage-related advice or experience but I did want to put together something silly and sweet for you.

I’m so happy for you and Joe and I wish you all the best in the future. I cannot wait to see pictures of the wedding and hear all about it from Erin and Rachel.

Oh and keep an eye on the groomsmen’s grabby hands. Seriously. Note to them: Ask me before pinching my butt. I am a lady and buying me a Miller Lite from the bar is not a free pass for those hands. And just because I’m in a dress and you’re in a tux, that does not mean we’re automatically hooking up, even if that suit does make you look better in beer goggles. Kthanxbye!

Summer wedding fever

Jessica B. — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:40:00 +0000

That’s right, last week I got an invite wedding #3 this summer. I was incorrect in my previous tweet, this was invite #3 not four. I may have to tape them to my wall so I can keep track of which ones I’m declining and which ones I’m able to attend. I mean, traveling to three weddings, plus gifts, gas and possible hotel adds up!

It’s still hard to believe I’m at the point where friends are getting married and some even are having babies. WTF is there something in the water?

Well if it is, I filter my water so I won’t catch it. In fact, I have a picture at my desk that says “No Way Baby,” I think my uterus status for babies is pretty clear.

But anyhow, back to weddings.

I had a sick feeling I was going to be invited to the latest wedding, set to take place a week before my big birthday. Awesome. But it’s in Madison so I can pick up some cheese curds before the reception.

Don’t mock the cheese curds, that stuff is awesome.

And while I had a momentary twinge of, well maybe I won’t go, I opened up the invite and it was SO gorgeous, OMG. Definitely one of the nicer invites I’ve received lately.

The bride/groom are two good friends from college and between the Internet and me, the groom is my “one that got away.” But I’m thrilled for both of them, honestly.

Plus, the reception is bound to be open bar and crawling with the groom’s former frat boys.

And let’s be honest the math is pretty simple:

Ex-frat boys + wedding + open bar = someone for Jess to make out with

Ka-ching!

I like those odds. And to quote my buddy, they’ll be “clean” so they’re my kind of guy. I smell the opportunity for a tie to be tied around my waist, bosom or head.

Let’s party!

Am I the only one getting slammed with wedding invites this year? How many do you have or what is the busiest wedding summer that you’ve ever had? Do you say yes to all of them?

Wedding thank you notes (and the drama with them)

Jessica B. — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:30:00 +0000

Okay I need everyone’s help tonight because I’ve heard a variety of answers to this question.

Wedding thank you notes: a) do you have to send them? and b) how long should it take to send them out?

Here’s why I’m asking. Several ladies I work with just got married and while they were talking about sending out their thank you notes, one of them said that she had still not received a thank you note from a wedding she attended over a year ago.

The new brides (and single-girl me) were shocked.

Apparently, the woman’s friend, who was the bride, mentioned something in passing that she enjoyed her wedding gift, but the gift giver never received a thank you note from the couple, by mail or e-mail.

And when she told us what her gift was (it came from that famous store in an Audrey Hepburn classic film) we were all extra shocked.

I think she should casually mention something to the bride or groom. Just say something casually, not accusatory. To me, it doesn’t matter how big the wedding is, if people are thoughtful enough to bring you a gift, especially an expensive one, a thank you note is in order. Plus, if I found out other guests got a note and not me, I would be even more hurt.

What does everyone else think? I’m curious about your thoughts on this because I’ve heard different opinions about this topic.

Note: OMG I cannot believe I left out slap bracelets from yesterday’s 80s post. Seriously, I loved those things. I might have to dig around for mine. They were slap-tastic! Hmm that sounds dirty.

Random Monday and a wedding shower!

Jessica B. — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:20:00 +0000

My apartment is a mess and I have a ton of paper to shred, like Enron-style, so I’m keeping this one short tonight with a nice list of random bullets and bloggy “house cleaning.”

I’m making guest appearances again: I’m guest blogging over at I’m a Mom in Real Life today and making a partial guest appearance over at Random Ramblings About My Crazy Life. Seriously, my stomach almost needed to be pumped from the amount of yogurt I consumed for that latter post. Check me out!

Reunion follow up: My outfit choice that everyone weighed in on got a really good response. People commented multiple times about the color and how cute it looked altogether. And of course I told them that my blosse has great taste :) For the first time in a while, I didn’t take pictures and honestly in that setting, it would have been too weird. Sorry :(

Wedding shower gift: Thanks to everyone who weighed in on this – I’m not always the best gift giver, especially under a time crunch. Fortunately, my stepmom saved me and we went in on a gift together from the registry. The couple is now the recipient of a lovely coffee maker from the registry!!

Wedding shower recap:

The wedding shower I went to this weekend was actually a lot of fun and very efficient! My two favorite things.

My stepmom did the most amazing flower arrangements, which went first in the “shower games,” which consisted of guests telling stories about marriage or about the happy couple. I didn’t really have stories to contribute under either topic so fortunately I wasn’t picked.

Mimosa’s were served but I opted for straight champagne instead. Why dress it up sometimes? So I was the “alcoholic” at the table, taking pictures for my aunt and talking progressively louder as time went on. But I wasn’t driving so I just tuned those naysayers out.

The best story that was shared at the shower came from a friend of my aunt, who had her 4-5 year old daughter with her. In summary, the woman’s now-husband was going to propose with her grandmother’s antique engagement ring. Once he decided to propose, he had to take the ring to be sized and the wife eventually noticed it was gone and figured out it was because of the forthcoming proposal. When the husband found out she knew he had the ring, he came home one night from work, changed clothes and followed her into their bedroom where he threw the ring, still in the box at her saying, “well you already know this is coming so just put it on.”

AND SHE DID. And that is the “romantic” story she shared about how she was proposed to. To close the story she said, “and he still surprises me every day,” to which I responded, “what else does he throw at her?”

That was by far the best story. The other ones dealt somehow with the bride, groom or members of the wedding party getting wasted before the wedding. But that I expected to hear :)

My love/hate relationship with wedding registries

Jessica B. — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:29:00 +0000

I really love wedding registries but right now I find them stress-inducing.

Saturday I have a shower for my cousin’s fiancee and I’m freaking out about getting them a gift. I don’t have a car in Chicago so getting to Target isn’t the most convenient trip around town and I totally spaced (until Tuesday) that her her shower is Saturday and I don’t have a gift yet, and likely won’t be able to get one until Friday when I’m back in Wisconsin.

Basically, I hate feeling rushed to get a gift and then still have to wrap it. I’m not a big “frills” person when it comes to wrapping, although I always appreciate the effort when it comes from friends. My friend Liz is the best gift wrapper I know. At Christmas, I want to make a gift wrapping sweat shop and lock her in the basement to wrap all of my gifts for me, while only giving her a thimble of water and 25 cents for her work. And if I know Liz, I think she’ll be okay with that.

So tonight I checked out their registry at Target and it’s pretty picked over. Sh*t. In the interest of time, is it tacky to just give them a Target gift card (nicely wrapped – in a card) so they can go get whatever they want? I hope so because that’s the way I’m leaning right now.

Ironically, despite the recent stress, I do love wedding registries. Several women I work with are getting married this fall/spring and I love hearing about the details and what they’re working on now. I told RebeccaC on Friday that several people I know who are or recently got married complain about registering for gifts, which I just don’t understand. I think it’s fun. I helped my parents when they got married and it was like Christmas, but not.

I’m thinking of starting a registry consulting side-job, where I meet with the couple, identify color patterns and items they would like to replace and register for and then I go off and do it for them (with a monetary fee of course). I think it’s a great idea. And I like to think that I have very good taste :) Heck I’m furniture consulting for Ryan for free! What’s up with that?

Thoughts? Is a gift card tacky??

Meet me as a bridesmaid

Jessica B. — Mon, 26 May 2008 17:35:00 +0000

As just about everyone knows, I was home in Wisconsin this weekend for my brothers wedding, in which I would make my bridesmaid debut and which is why I haven’t posted anything since Thursday – it was a full weekend wedding bonanza!

Anyhow, it’s Monday now, the wedding is over, my hair still has glitter in it (as does my clothes), I’m exhausted and I have decided not to log my food from the weekend because…well it would be too painful.

So let’s jump in, I have plenty of pictures to share and I have to say, while the wedding was exhausting and the weekend was almost like being in college again, I’m glad I was a bridesmaid and that I was there to see my baby brother get married. It’s definitely a different experience than watching friends get married and it’s something I won’t forget.

Rehearsal Dinner

Before the wedding, of course, we had the rehearsal at the church. I met my groomsmen, Tim, who my brother and I went to high school with, and who I found is a bit of a character. I wasn’t sure if he was a perv or “special” – turns out it’s a little of both – but he was a gentleman to me (until the reception).

After the church, we headed over to a local sports bar for the rehearsal dinner where we toasted the happy couple, I got my bridesmaid gift and received the most generous wine pour that I’ve ever had. Fortunately, I kept myself in control, as I’m still a little gunshy after my unfortunate Nordstrom’s event a few weeks ago. *shudder*

Because hair started at 8 or 8:30 a.m. on Sunday, the bridesmaids shared a hotel room (at the hotel hosting the reception), which was like living in the dorm again – in a fun way. We were all up late talking and laughing, with our dresses hanging from any possible hook or cupboard we could find.

The big day – the glam squad

So after the third day of little sleep, everyone was up and ready on the day of the wedding. Hair started promptly at 8:30 a.m. and while two girls were being worked on, others were going through the rounds of hair/make-up. At one point, we had 13 people in the hotel suite – and yes it was cramped, but in a good way (if that makes any sense).

I opted to go with a “Jenna Bush wedding” look for my hair, but with a few more curls. I wear my hair straight on a daily basis (out of laziness) so if I was paying for my hair to be done, curl it and spray it within an inch of it’s life! The hairdresser working on me sprayed my hair (and the other bridesmaids) with glitter hairspray. It added a great shine to the hair but got ALL over my clothes and body. Liz even sprayed my chest to match the other bridesmaids – that is a true friend. Here is my hair’s final product, front and back. And with Liz’s expert guidance, it turned out great.

Then it was time to get in the dress (which still fit – thank god!) and head to the church. I have to admit, when I had that dress on, combined with the gorgeous hair and somehow perfectly applied make-up, I felt absolutely beautiful. That’s not to sound vain, but throughout the day, everyone kept telling me how beautiful I looked and for the first time, I would reply, “I do,” or “I know!” I was even sad to wash the curls out this morning and remove the bobby pins last night. Not everyone knows I suffer from crippling self-esteem issues so for me to feel that way, embody it and have people recognize it, I felt like I was the prettiest bridesmaid ever.

Also, because the wedding was themed after the Wisconsin Badgers (my brother, sister-in-law and our family are huge fans), it’s only appropriate that the flowers follow that trend too.

Going to the chapel

We had to wait a bit once we got into the church so that guests could arrive and be fully seated. While we were waiting, I got to see my brother before the wedding and was nearly hit by the rambunctious ring bearer with a dodgeball. Fortunately though, I wasn’t hit, or that ball would have been thrown back at him.

When we all lined up to walk and meet our groomsmen, my knees were totally shaking and I was sweating like crazy. Tim did a great job walking me down the aisle and when I looked up and saw Andy at the alter, I wanted to cry. My baby brother, who I’ve had a love/hate relationship with since he was born, was getting married. How did we get to this point?

Here are some pictures from the ceremony – unfortunately Liz wasn’t able to get me coming down the aisle so I’ll post an “official” photograph of that later. But the last shot is of me/Andy after the wedding. I think we look pretty darn good.

Party time!

So now that the wedding is over, we took photos outside (in the great sunshine and 70-degree weather – finally!) and got on the party bus back to the hotel, where champagne was flowing and the AC was on as well. We pre-partied before the cocktail hour – which lead to me getting horribly drunk on champagne and lead to me inhaling food during the cocktail hour so that I was sober for the wedding party procession. Fortunately, I rallied and was sober for the wedding party line-up, where we screamed so loud that a small child started crying out of fear. We get crazy in Wisconsin.

Before the wedding, we kept hearing that the bride had a surprise for my brother, but only two people knew what it was. Personally I thought it was news that I would be an auntie, but I was even more thrilled to find out with everyone else that my sister-in-law arranged for Bucky Badger (the Wisconsin mascot) to make an appearance at the reception and take pictures with guests. Bucky f*cking Badger was there, how awesome is that? Pretty awesome and appropriate if you have a Badger-themed wedding. Here are pictures of the wedding party and me with Bucky – f*ck ‘em Bucky!

The other big treat of the night (other than my brother and sister-in-law dancing to “Soulja Boy” before their first song) had to be the father of the bride dancing (with the groomsmen and bride) to the Napoleon Dynamite dance. He loves that movie and in full costume and DVD

guidance, the entire party joined in on the fun. It was so great.

The day after

We got back into Chicago today and to amazing weather. I managed to wash out all the product and most of the glitter from my hair. Now I’m catching up on e-mail and Podcasts before I inevitably crash for work tomorrow. So my dress is hanging in my closet, where I’m sure I’ll wear it again soon to water plants or dishes. That would be lovely. Want more pictures, e-mail me and let me know, there are some gems I didn’t have time to post.

Quote of the weekend

“That’s why you’re going to die alone….if a man can’t share his beef jerky, he can’t share anything.” – Said by yours truly (after four glasses of champagne)

Also, I just want to say a big thanks to my friend Liz, who accompanied me this weekend. She was a true sport the entire time, holding my bag/wrap when I needed it, helping with anything big/small that needed to be done and being a true sport around me and my crazy family. She took just about all the pictures in this post and did a great job.

Update: Bridesmaid invite done by mass e-mail

Jessica B. — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:30:00 +0000

In February, I posted that a friend of mine was invited to take part in her close friend’s wedding by mass e-mail. The e-mail also informed the five potential bridesmaids that one of them would be selected at a later date to be the maid of honor. Since many of you shared in my horror about this story, I’m pleased to say that I have an update.

My friend informed me tonight that she, unfortunately, did not make the “maid of honor – Survivor” cut. This did not surprise or disappoint her, but apparently the bride-to-be did not get a good reaction from the way she asked these women to be part of her wedding, so she recently made the “I’m sorry I asked you to be in my wedding by mass e-mail” tour around the city to personally ask each of them to take part. Apparently though, for the bridesmaid who was chosen to be the maid of honor, it was too late. She turned the “role” down, and honestly, I don’t blame her. So now one of these remaining girls will be asked as a sloppy second.

It appears as though the wedding, which will be held next year, is going with a 50s Hollywood theme, including satin, pearls, French twists and Audrey Hepburn glamour. From the few times I’ve met this woman, I’m sure there will be a good amount of “50s Hollywood gawdy” that will be thrown in too.

My poor friend also received, with her verbal bridesmaid invite, a list of what she will be required to wear and get for the wedding, including the following:

#2 MAC faux eyelashes
Her hair in a Breakfast at Tiffany’s twist, with bump on the crown of the head
A “delicate” pale pink dress that is knee-length and with a huge bow in the back
White satin shoes and matching purse

She had more to add but I couldn’t write it all down fast enough because I was laughing too hard.

Another portion of this story consisted of the bride-to-be refusing to speak with her divorced parents because they informed her that they cannot pay for part of her “deal” wedding. When they told her that their financial situation didn’t allow them to help pay for it, she became enraged with them because “they’ve had 30 years to save for this.” While it doesn’t surprise me that she reacted this way, it did irritate me that she was so selfish about this.

Trust me, when you grow up with not a lot of money, you learn not to expect anything and to be grateful for what you are offered. I think the issue really is that she expected them to pay for this and found out that wouldn’t be the case. And we all know what happens when you ass-u-me things.

If I get married, I have no expectations that my parents will help pay for it. Of course, if they could offer some help, that would be great, but honestly I won’t hold my breath.