And that sh*t adds up fast too.

For two years, I diligently counted my calories, which was easy because I never went out. I counted every glass of water, M&M, chip and sandwich I ate. I was obsessed with it and of course, saw the results of it (losing weight).

Then, suddenly I OD’ed on it and stopped. I wouldn’t log for a day, then two days, then a week, then a month, etc. I’m afraid to check when the last time I logged was, because I’m willing to bet, it’s been three months.

I hate doing it, but it worked.

And lately, I’ve been needing a kick in the pants to do it again. Clothes are snug, beer is delicious, I can’t say no to food or snacking (especially when I eat my feelings) and I feel fat all the time. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror.

Last week, I finally got that last kick. While checking Facebook, I saw a friend lost 40-60 lbs over the last six months. And she looked fantastic. I commented to her how great she looked, but staring down at my gut, I felt like a total failure.

So I took one last bite of a cookie and logged into Sparkpeople to start logging my calories again, each cookie, salad and sandwich at a time.

And the results were horrifying. I’m allowed 1,550 calories per day and it horrifies me how quickly it adds up. Turns out, reaching 1,550 calories is easy, stopping at that point isn’t.

In the last week, I stayed within my calorie goal three of the seven days. It’s a very small victory. I’m back at the gym, committed to my workouts and I’m feeling better. I still have a lot of work to do but I take it one day at a time.

While logging, I also saw how weak I am in front of food. I can’t say no, especially in an office where there are always snacks and a candy dish three feet away from me. I chew gum, drink lots of water and pinch my wrist when I feel the urge to go snack. Or, I take 1-2 small pieces of candy and cut myself off there.

Oh and logging food when you go out to eat sucks too. There is no easy way to do it except for breaking down what is in there and finding comparable items in the database. Again, it’s painful, but I am really trying not to give up.

So yes, I hate counting calories, but I hate feeling fat more.

What about you? Do you count calories? How do you handle eating well while dining out?

Yes, I’m back in the kitchen after WAY too long of a break. Oh, I missed cooking on Sundays, while listening to music and Googling simple kitchen techniques. Seriously, I do that.

I’ve mentioned before that I love pasta and carbs. So much so that I might become a walking carb myself. Pasta, bread, you name it, I love it.

But in the summer, rather than bake a casserole with pasta, I’m looking to lighten up my food. Something still carby yummy but cool and easy to prepare without heating up the kitchen.

And lately, I’ve been falling in love with two things: quinoa and couscous.

These babies are my new b*tches. I love cooking with them. And after finding success with quinoa, I tried my luck with couscous this weekend. Here was the result:

Yeah, food styling fail. I know.

Couscous Chicken Salad (MyRecipes)

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2  cups  fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
• 12  ounces  skinless, boneless chicken breasts
• 1  (10-ounce) package couscous
• 1  cup  chopped fresh basil
• 1/4  cup  EVOO
• 3  tablespoons  sherry vinegar
• 3/4  teaspoon  salt
• 1/4  teaspoon  freshly ground black pepper
• 1  garlic clove, minced
• 1 1/2  cups  halved cherry tomatoes
• 1  cup  sliced green onions
• 1  (15 1/2-ounce) can chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained and rinsed

Directions:

Bring broth to a boil in a medium saucepan. Add chicken; cover, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes or until chicken is done. Remove chicken using a slotted spoon; set aside. Cool slightly, and coarsely chop.

While chicken cools, add couscous to broth; stir well. Cover and let stand 10 minutes. Place couscous in a large bowl; cool completely. Fluff with a fork. Stir in basil and next 5 ingredients (basil through garlic). Add chopped chicken, tomatoes, onions, and chickpeas; toss gently to combine. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours or overnight (not necessary but good to enhance the flavor).

Verdict: Yummy, yummy, yummy

Okay, I’m still mastering how long to cook this because I overdid the poached chicken and couscous, but it still worked! I also skipped the chickpeas because I only like them in hummus and I still loved this dish.

It was light, super fast to prepare and had a nice sweet flavor without overdoing it. The tomatoes are key to include and really, I could have used a bit more basil. It added such a nice flavor. Feel free to cut back on the EVOO too though, it’s easy to overdo it.

I can’t wait to cook with couscous again.

What do you like to make in the summer to keep the kitchen and house cool? Are you a pasta lover?